Into the Light (The Light, #1)(57)

I tried to imagine a pole barn but had no frame of reference. I didn’t even know what it was. The longer I thought about where we were going and how we were getting there, the more questions I had.

Can we live in a barn? Why do we want to?

It wasn’t as if Jacob usually talked a lot, but ever since the previous night’s service he had been quieter than normal. I believed it had something to do with his meeting, but what that something was I’d probably never know. If one day I learned, it would be in God’s time. I reached for the door, to my right, and found a handle. My grip tightened as the tires bounced upon the uneven road.

“Are you all right?” Jacob asked, bringing my thoughts to the present.

Biting my lip, I nodded.

His gloved hand reached for my leg. “Sara,” he said gently, “I can’t help you if you’re not honest with me. Don’t try to hide your thoughts and feelings. I’ll find out the truth.”

“It’s my ribs. The way the truck’s bouncing . . . they hurt.”

“There. Was that difficult? Is there more?” he asked.

When I covered his hand with mine, he turned his palm up and laced our fingers together. Taking a deep breath, I said, “I don’t remember anything. I don’t know where we’re going other than what you’ve said. I don’t even know what a pole barn is. Will”—I swallowed and rephrased—“I’m wondering if there’ll be animals.”

His laughter filled the truck, momentarily masking the wind and the squeak of the tires bouncing upon the uneven road. “I’m proud of you. You said all of that without questioning once.” He squeezed my hand. “Very good. A pole barn is a type of building. No, there won’t be any animals. One small section of the building has living quarters. Even without your sight, I believe you’ll be able to navigate it well. There’s a loft with a bedroom. The main level is one room with a kitchen and living area and a small separated bathroom. The rest is more of a hangar.”

I turned in his direction and tried to imagine what he described. “The rest has an airplane.” I tried to avoid any inflection that could make my words sound like a question.

“Airplanes, two.” He sighed. “I keep forgetting that you don’t remember. I’m a pilot. Father Gabriel needs me to get back to work. Now that you’re doing better, I can. Last night he decided it would be better if you were with me out at the hangar, rather than leaving you in our apartment alone.”

“I’ll be alone while you’re at Assembly and when you’re working.” My heartbeat quickened.

“You will, sometimes. Other times people will come to stay with you. All members of The Light pull their weight. We all work to fulfill Father Gabriel’s dream. There’s another pilot, Brother Micah, here at the Northern Light. For the last three weeks, since the accident, he’s been handling everything alone. There’s also another pilot who comes here who isn’t a member of The Light, Xavier. He sometimes helps out by bringing supplies. Father Gabriel trusts him, so we do too.”

I braced myself again as the terrain turned bumpier.

“We’re almost there. Xavier is the reason the pole barn has living quarters. Sometimes when he brings supplies, he can’t leave the same day. The Northern Light is located in a very remote part of the Far North region. This building is removed from the community so he has a place to stay.”

“I know I can’t say what I’m thinking without a question.”

“If you ask, will it make you feel better?”

I shrugged. “I suppose. It depends on your answer, and if I have permission to ask.”

The truck slowed to make another turn.

“Go ahead. You have my permission, but I can’t promise I’ll answer.”

“You said you’re a pilot and that sometimes Xavier needs to stay here overnight. Are you ever gone overnight?”

“I am.”

I turned toward the window that I couldn’t see and tried to quell the panic bubbling in my chest. I hated being so dependent on him, but I was.

“Father Gabriel won’t ask me to do any overnight trips until you’re fully recovered. And by the time I do, we’ll be home in our apartment. You’ll have the entire community. I’d never leave you alone out here for more than a few hours.”

I nodded as the truck came to a stop. A mechanical sound—a garage door rising—came from outside, and then we slowly moved forward.

“Don’t open your door,” Jacob warned. “I’ll help you out, but we need to wait for the door to close. This time of year, we need to be careful. The tall fences keep the polar bears out of the community, but out here you never know.”

My face spun back toward him. “Oh my gosh, polar bears!”

He scoffed. “It’s not like they’re always outside our door. Technically we’re only on the edge of the circumpolar north, but it’s better to be safe. Don’t you agree?”

“I do.” I thought for a minute as the door descended. “But it’s winter, they should be hibernating.”

“We’re not into meteorological winter yet, but I agree it feels like it; however, no, polar bears don’t hibernate.”

I sucked my lip between my teeth.

How could I forget I live with polar bears?