Into the Light (The Light, #1)(56)

His hand and breath stilled, as if he was considering his words carefully. “We’re leaving the clinic tomorrow. However, instead of going to our apartment, we’ll be staying at the pole barn for a while.”

“I don’t remember our apartment or the pole barn, but I’ll go wherever you take me.”

His lips brushed mine. The light touch ignited a spark that detonated flickers of yearning throughout my body. I lifted my lips to his, wanting more than the chaste endearment.

“Sara, I . . .” Jacob didn’t complete his sentence; instead his hand slipped behind my head, pulling me toward him. His kiss, no longer apathetic, devoured. Zeal radiated from his lips, and soon his breaths were labored. Like magnets we were drawn toward one another, closer and closer. My body liquefied, becoming pliable to his touch, while conversely, his hardened, ready to claim what was already his.

As the heat of our passion washed over us, I forgot my punishment. My attention went elsewhere. A tug on my hair propelled my head to tilt, while the persistence of his minty tongue encouraged my lips to part. Whimpers and moans reverberated in my mouth and bubbled forth. They were wordless sounds declaring my body’s approval.

The large, strong hands that had delivered pain now brought pleasure. I reached for his broad shoulders, opening my arms and willfully surrendering to his kisses. With a palpable hunger, his mouth moved from my lips to my neck and down to my collarbone. His actions sent shivers to my toes and tremors to my insides. Each kiss moved lower until he reached the neckline of my nightgown. The bra I’d worn to service was gone. My breaths quickened as each button came undone, leaving me bare and exposed to his desires.

The sound of my heart echoed in my ears as he praised my beauty and whispered admiration for what was his. When he wasn’t speaking, his lips moved lower as his five o’clock shadow tantalized my sensitive skin. It was as his skilled fingers joined the assault, kneading my breasts and twisting my hardened nipples, that primal sounds came from in my throat. It wasn’t that I feared speaking. It was that words weren’t forming. Wanting what he could give, I reached for his head, wove my fingers through his hair, and pulled him closer.

Suddenly he stopped and pulled away, leaving me open to the cool air.

Dazed and chilled, I reached for my nightgown. Embarrassed and hurt, I began to button it. “Did I do something wrong?” The cool temperature of the room turned glacial as I realized my mistake. “Jacob, I’m sorry. I know not to question. It’s just that . . .” The whirlwind of my emotions cycloned out of control. Though my nightgown wasn’t completely buttoned, I rolled away, lost in my darkened world, as tears rained onto my pillow.

Reaching for my shoulder, Jacob turned me back toward him, wiped my tears, and kissed my nose. “You are so stubborn. You’re going to be the death of us yet.”

I didn’t understand what had just happened.

How did we go from hot and steamy to frigid in record time?

My heart ached as the bed shifted and Jacob stood. Then seconds later it shifted again to his weight. This time when he pulled me to his chest, his shirt was soft. A T-shirt, I presumed. When I curled into him as I’d done before, my bare leg met his. The skin-to-skin contact brought a smile to my saddened lips. He’d gotten out of bed to remove his clothes, not to leave me. He was going to sleep with me.

He kissed the top of my head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. We’re in a hospital bed in the community clinic. It’s not the most romantic place to make love to my wife.”

I exhaled, thankful he’d explained his reasoning.

Gently rubbing my back, he continued, “Besides, like I said, I’m worried about your ribs. I weigh a lot more than you. I don’t want to make them worse.”

“I don’t have to be on the bottom.”

Oh, shit! I bit my lip. Did I really just say that?

The bed shook with the quake of his laughter. “Good night, Sara.”



The next afternoon I burrowed my gloved hands deep inside my thick coat and sat silently as Jacob drove us away from the clinic. Judging from the height of the vehicle as he’d helped me into my seat, we were in a truck. I wanted to ask if it belonged to him.

After all, didn’t I wreck his truck?

Instead I listened as the heater blew ferociously within and the wind howled outside. I was stuck in a battle of temperatures, and judging by my chattering teeth, the outside was winning. I tried to remember the time of year. Elizabeth had mentioned the dark season. Based on the temperature, it had to be winter. Then again, I didn’t know if it ever got warm in Far North, Alaska.

Whatever time of year it was, I couldn’t seem to get warm. On one foot I wore the boot from last night. On the other my cast was covered by a sort of sock. Under my long skirt I wore warm leggings, but despite it all, my body still shivered. The farther we drove, the more I thought about my friends. I’d recently told Elizabeth how anxious I was to leave my room. Now in less than twenty-four hours I’d done it twice, and this time we weren’t returning, at least for a little while.

The new paradigm left me scared and lonely. As the reality of my circumstance settled in my consciousness, my desire to question slipped away. The acceptance of my life was a relief that allowed me to concentrate on what and who was around me. Outside the community I’d have Jacob, but I would also miss Raquel’s constant presence and Elizabeth’s visits. I even wondered about Sisters Lilith and Ruth. With Sister Ruth’s presence, I’d come to enjoy my training. It was nice to have the women to talk to, people I could question, who could teach me the things I’d forgotten.