How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life(61)
IN MOST SITUATIONS IN LIFE, PEOPLE will provide you with opportunities. A person will interview you, hire you, give you a chance, sponsor you, give you a second chance, help you, teach you, and build you up. A PERSON does all of those things; therefore, it makes a lot of sense to be nice to PEOPLE. I don’t see R2D2 rolling up to anyone and offering them a job, yet we probably treat our iPhones better than we do some of the people in our lives. So if being nice doesn’t innately make you feel good or you don’t care about humanity, realize that even for the most selfish hustler, being nice to people is essential when it comes to receiving opportunities. People will seldom work with someone who is horrible to be around.
The power of being nice to people should not be underestimated. I’m happy to say that I’ve established many connections and have been given many opportunities simply because I’ve been kind to people. Earlier this year I attended a YouTube music party and spotted Scooter Braun, aka Justin Bieber’s manager, standing two feet away from me. I had never met Scooter before, but I admired his hustle and work ethic. I wanted so badly to start a conversation, but I was a little nervous and my mind was drawing blanks. I had no idea how to initiate an introduction. Should I talk about the party? Should I ask him about Justin? Should I start a formal debate about wearing socks with sandals? Should I pretend to be confused and call him Nick? After a moment of deliberation, I stopped being crazy and decided I would just tell him the truth. I walked up to Scooter and said, “Hey! I think you’re really awesome, and here’s why …”
It turns out that Scooter was having a bad day and my words really hit home. He seemed genuinely appreciative of the fact that I approached him just to say something kind. The next day Scooter posted a pic of our meeting on Instagram with a caption that read:
Tell me again how being nice to people doesn’t really make a difference. Since our meeting, Scooter has occasionally posted about my videos, and it warms my heart knowing that this support was birthed from a simple, kind gesture.
Being nice to people definitely includes being polite, smiling, and giving your friend the last piece of cake, but if you want to be nice like a Bawse, then you need to understand that sometimes your kindness must be proactive. This means actively thinking of ways to be nice to people that will leave a lasting impression. You should treat niceness like a task on your daily to-do list and give it as much importance as everything else.
I’d like to think that I have a reputation for being pleasant while on set. When I was doing the photo shoot for my YouTube marketing campaign, I tried my best to be super-friendly to the entire crew. This meant being patient, saying please and thank you, talking to everyone, smiling lots, having a positive attitude, and not being fussy. In my opinion, these are qualities that everyone should possess when in a similar situation. But a Bawse doesn’t stop there. After the shoot I asked one of my contacts at YouTube to set up an email thread that included everyone who worked on the shoot, and I sent out an email to the entire team thanking them for their hard work and letting them know that I really appreciated their efforts and contributions. I received a ton of replies that were filled with gratitude. In fact, a few weeks later I ran into one of the directors, and he told me that no one had ever sent an email like that and it really made an impact on the team. Like a Bawse.
Before I perform, I always say the same thing to myself: “People won’t always remember what you did or what you said, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.” With that in mind, I go onstage and make it my goal to impact people in a positive way. This truth applies in situations beyond the stage. If you are nice to people, you will make them feel good. And when you make someone feel good, they will associate you with these good feelings. That connection is really important if you want to be successful. After all, people will want to work with, give opportunities to, and support people who make them feel good. Why would they voluntarily want to be around people who make them feel horrible? They aren’t Meg and this isn’t Family Guy. Think about it: the people you support in life are likely the people who make you feel magical inside.
Like fairies spreading pixie dust.
Gimme That Effort
List five spontaneous nice gestures that are easy for you to execute.
YOUR HANDS ARE GRIPPED around a bat. You roll your shoulders back and forth and get ready to swing with all your power. In front of you is a pi?ata filled with all the things you dislike: ignorant comments, ridiculous trending topics, and animal cruelty. The pi?ata is in the shape of a cow, which further triggers you. You take a deep breath, pull the bat back, and swing it forward with all your strength, causing the pi?ata to explode into pieces. Everything you hate is scattered all over the floor, and in a complete rage you continue to break those pieces into even smaller pieces. The pieces are turning into a puree at this point. You’re breaking the tiles on the floor. The neighbors are complaining. Finally you stand up straight and look at all the terrible things you’ve bashed. You feel great …
… until the next morning, you wake up to a world filled with ignorant comments and animal cruelty. Not to mention that “Replace famous movie titles with ‘butthole’ ” is the number one worldwide trend on twitter. How is this possible?! That’s because bashing on what you hate doesn’t actually get rid of it; it usually just makes you feel better for a short amount of time. If you want to solve problems, don’t lash out at all the things that are wrong. Instead, promote all the wonderful solutions. In other words, promote what you love; don’t bash what you hate.