Heidi's Guide to Four Letter Words(10)

“‘She wants him, in a way she’s never wanted a man before,’” Brent reads aloud from the back cover of the book. “‘He lights a fire inside her she knows will never be extinguished, no matter how many times he bends her over his desk and takes everything she has to give.’ Wow. Sounds like fun research.”

I giggle uncomfortably, still waiting for a hole in the ground to open up. Or maybe a time machine that will magically transport me back to EdenMedia, where I could stop Jessica from shoving that book from her drawer of sin into my box.

Brent sets the book on top of the equipment, and since I’d rather look anywhere but at that thing, my eyes move to his face and the heart-stopping smile he’s aiming in my direction. There’s a smudge of dirt on one of his cheeks, and Steve is back before I can stop him.

“My hands itch to reach out and brush the dirt off his cheek, wondering what the stubble on his face would feel like against my palm.”

I shake my head to get stupid Steve out of there, mentally telling him to go stand in a corner and think about what he’s done.

“Well, I should probably get back to my weeds so I can finish while there’s still some daylight left,” Brent tells me, pointing his thumb over his shoulder toward his yard. “Have fun with your research.”

Just the thought of him knowing I have this book in my possession and think I would even entertain the idea of going inside my house and reading it makes my scalp all itchy, and I almost drop the box in my arms again when my palms start to sweat.

“Oh, I’m just going to throw this whole box away. No research needed. Nothing but junk here. I might even light a fire out back and burn the whole thing. I don’t have a fire pit, but I’m sure it’s fine and I won’t light my entire yard on fire.” I laugh uncomfortably.

“Looks like you’ve got some nice equipment in there. Podcast stuff, right?” he asks, leaning closer to me and peering into the box. “I have a friend who records a podcast. It looks like outdated stuff, but you could probably still get it to work.”

“I don’t think anyone would want to listen to me talking to myself. What would I even talk about? My life isn’t exciting or interesting enough for something like that,” I reply quietly, looking down at myself.

I’m wearing a dress with yellow pencils on it, for goodness sake. My entire closet is filled with dresses covered in the alphabet, apples, and other kid-friendly designs that were appropriate to wear to school. My thoughts immediately turn to Laura and all the skin she was showing on her date with Brent, and how she wouldn’t have any problems working at EdenMedia. Now, I just feel like a child standing next to a man who is out of my league and attracted to women who don’t get embarrassed just by having a dirty book in her general vicinity.

“I think you’re pretty interesting. You could talk about your new job,” Brent suggests with a shrug, giving me a wink before he turns and starts walking back over to his yard.

I’m so busy being shocked by the fact that he thinks I’m interesting and that he winked at me that I never take my eyes off him as he walks away. I watch the muscles in his back ripple as his arms swing down by his sides. I don’t realize I’m still standing on the sidewalk next to my car, watching Brent start pulling weeds again, until a car door slams a few houses down, making me jump and scurry up the walkway into my house.

Yep. It’s official. EdenMedia has corrupted me. I don’t know whether to be worried about it or look forward to what the future might bring.

As soon as I get inside my house and set the box on top of the kitchen table, my cell phone starts buzzing with an incoming call. When I pull it out of the front pocket of my dress and see I have seven missed calls from my mother, I’m thankful I had the foresight to pick up wine the other day when I was at the store.

Nothing bad ever happens when a woman is contemplating her entire existence and where she went wrong, home alone with a brand new box of wine chilling in her fridge and a dirty romance novel she’s afraid to even touch, let alone read, which is suddenly calling her name after she heard her extremely attractive neighbor read the blurb on the back cover.

Said no one ever.





Chapter 5





Heidi’s Podcast, Episode 1


“Okay. Uh, is this thing even on? How do I know if it’s on? Oh my God. This is so stupid. I’m gonna have the biggest headache in the morning, but this box of wine is really delicious. People hear ‘box of wine’ and they think, ‘Oh jeez. Oh no, I would never drink that, because it probably tastes like a box. But, you guys, it doesn’t taste like a box at all. It just tastes like wine. I wonder how good this microphone thingy is. Can you hear me pouring more wine? Well, I’m not actually pouring it. I’ve got my box of Franzia Sunset Blush sitting right next to me on my kitchen table and it’s got a plastic spout where I just push the button. Glug-glug-glug—I’m inserting sound effects just in case you can’t hear it. Aaand… instant glass of wine!” I take a big gulp from the glass I’ve already refilled twice before and continue to ramble.

“Okay, so… okay, podcast. Podcast. It’s my podcast! Heidi’s… Heidi’s Podcast. Whatever. Okay, so… uhhh, what am I going to talk about? Like, who would listen to this? Who cares? Who would even listen….” I stop to take another swig of cheap wine and start over.