Graduation Day (The Testing, #3)(21)

“When you trust me with your secrets, I’ll trust you with mine.” With that, Raffe heads off across the grass and around the back of the residence. The next time I notice him, he’s standing next to Griffin. Both are laughing. Both are looking at me.

The room-by-room search continues for the next several hours. Some students complain. Others stretch out on the grass and go to sleep. Careful to make sure no one is nearby, I pull out a paper and pencil to organize my thoughts. First I write my name, followed by Tomas’s. Beneath our names I write others.

IAN

RAFFE

STACIA

ENZO

BRICK




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All have knowledge or skills that could be useful in the days to come. Ian with his connection to the rebels. Raffe because of his knowledge of Tosu leaders. Stacia for her ability to put aside emotion and coolly analyze a situation. Enzo with his awareness of the tensions among the citizens, his clear dislike of the current system, and his father and brothers, who must be working with the rebels. And Brick, who might have skills to support this kind of action, since his parents went through The Testing. They both graduated from the University and now work at a former military facility, developing techniques to improve colony security against wild and mutated animals and other possible attacks.

All good reasons to ask these individuals for their assistance. But there is one more factor that has to be taken into consideration. Who will be able to kill? More, who will I be willing to ask to take lives?

Closing my eyes, I take deep breaths and think about these people one by one.

Tomas. Just focusing on him makes me feel more grounded. I love and trust him without reservation. He might not like the decision I have made to end The Testing using the president’s method, but my heart wants to believe he will stand at my side. At the very least, he will not reveal my plans to anyone who might act against me.

Stacia is my friend. She is also assigned to the Medical field of study. The field that is headed by one of the people on the president’s list. Stacia is focused, strong-willed, and more than capable of handling whatever comes her way. The Testing and her Medical Induction prove Stacia will do whatever it takes to be successful. Can she be trusted? Under normal circumstances, I’m certain I would say no. But if she can be convinced that the president’s assignment will aid her own advancement, she can be counted on to help. And I am certain she would approve of the president’s determination that the ends justify the means.

I draw stars next to both names and move on to the others.

Raffe has already shown he can turn deadly, and the unemotional way in which he disposed of Damone tells me he is not squeamish about doing what needs to be done. But I do not know what secrets he holds or what he would do to protect them.

Brick has also shown his ability to wield a weapon. If I close my eyes, I can see his bullets tearing into the mutated humans that he thought threatened me. The Testing taught me Brick is willing to place faith in my observations when it comes to passing a test, but he’s the son of two University graduates who believe in The Testing. Brick’s parents wanted him to come to the University, so Brick obeyed their wishes and studied in order to be selected. I am not sure he would be willing to ignore what he was taught by his parents on my word alone. In fact, I am almost certain Brick would not see reporting my actions as a betrayal, but as the act of a good citizen. I draw a line through his name.

I shiver as a breeze rustles through the nearby tree, and I rub the scars on my arm. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the flash of a smile and the intense gaze of green eyes.

Will.

Someone I have not added to my list, but one who can kill. From experience, I know Will to be cunning and resourceful, and capable of a ruthless determination. He made the choice to kill other candidates who did nothing more than stand in his way for a spot at the University. Will he be willing to eliminate the people who gave him what he fought so hard for? I think about the Will I first met. The one who joked with his twin. Who, under the most pressure-filled circumstances, found ways to make the people around him laugh. It was when his brother failed to pass the first test that Will began to change. He felt alone. He was desperate to prove that he could survive without his brother. That the sacrifice of that lifelong anchor was not for nothing.

Does that make his betrayal less heartbreaking? No. But now that I have my memories back, I remember something else. A conversation we had after the tests were over. Despite the callousness of his actions, he took the time to learn the name of a girl he’d killed. Perhaps he never thought her death would matter to him as more than a method of achieving his goal. But it did. I can’t forgive him for his actions, but there was something about the way he talked of her that makes me wonder if Will wouldn’t make a different choice during The Testing now.

I shake my head and mentally draw a line through Will’s name as Professor Holt steps out of the residence entryway and calls to us. When we gather near, she thanks us for our patience and tells us that we are free to go back to our rooms or to any of the University buildings. However, until the investigation into Damone’s disappearance is complete, no student is allowed to leave campus.

Relief fills me. If they had found something incriminating in my rooms or in the rooms of the rebel students, I doubt they would allow us to just go about our business. Foreboding returns as I realize there is an equal chance Professor Holt and her team did find something and that they are just using that information to focus their attention on the student or students who are now under suspicion. Most of my fellow students seem unconcerned as they follow Professor Holt back inside the building. Worry that my movements might be watched even more closely makes me consider doing the same. But sitting inside will not help my brother. So instead I head for the bridge, to find Tomas.