Graduation Day (The Testing, #3)(16)

If Professor Holt looks for the lie in my words she won’t find one.

Nodding, she says, “I appreciate your dedication to your studies, as I’m sure the president does. And, of course, you left before I requested that students remain in the residence so that I could discuss Damone’s unusual disappearance with all of you individually. So, you had no way of knowing that you went against my explicit instructions.”

“I would never have left had I known I was instructed to stay on campus.”

Her lips purse. “Well, now that you’re back, perhaps you can tell me whether you had cause to speak with or spend time with Damone Pyburn before he went missing.”

I consider my words carefully as I say, “Despite our being on the same team during Induction, I don’t know Damone very well. He made it clear that he wasn’t interested in being friends with colony students, so we rarely if ever spoke.”

“And yet you saved his life—twice.”

Only to end it later.

I stifle the urge to shift in my seat and say, “It was the right thing to do for my team.”

“And you always do the right thing.”

[page]“No,” I answer honestly. “Growing up, I was taught that it’s impossible to know what the right thing always is. The best you can do is to try to do what you think is right for yourself and the people around you.”

Professor Holt stares at me for a minute as if trying to read hidden meanings in my words. Finally she says, “I have been told that you were absent from the residence twice today.”

Blood pounds in my ears. Cautiously, I nod. “I went into the city.”

“The first time was with Raffe Jeffries. Yes, I spoke with him earlier. He gave me an account of your outing. Perhaps you’d like to give me yours.”

What to say? I do not know the explanation Raffe gave Professor Holt for our leaving campus. If my answer does not match the one he gave, Professor Holt will question everything I have said thus far. And I have used my internship to cover my journey to the city this afternoon. I can’t use the same excuse for Raffe and me going out this morning.

Hoping Raffe didn’t tell an elaborate story, I say, “Raffe knows I haven’t had much of a chance to explore Tosu City. We ran into each other before breakfast and he volunteered to show me around.”

Professor Holt tilts her head to the side. “What time did you and Mr. Jefferies meet?”

Breakfast starts at seven-thirty. “Around seven, I think.” Most students don’t get up on the weekends until after the allotted time for breakfast has already begun, so the time I quoted gives less of a chance for her to question why other students didn’t see us. I can only hope the logic Raffe used to give his answer was the same I employed to create mine.

“Are you certain that time is accurate?”

I’m certain it is not, but I cannot change my answer now. Instead I force a laugh and say, “It might have been just before or just after. I wasn’t watching the time all that closely.”

“Mr. Jefferies said the two of you planned to meet this morning, but you implied it was a spontaneous trip.”

I feel color fill my cheeks and I clutch my bag as my mind races, trying to decide how best to explain the discrepancy. Out of the corner of my eye, I see someone hovering in the doorway of the common room. Turning, I lock eyes with him. His long dark hair frames his pale face and deep green eyes.

“Do you need something, Mr. O’Donovan?” Professor Holt asks. Her tone is clipped, indicating her displeasure at being interrupted.

Will doesn’t seem to be bothered by Professor Holt’s annoyance. Flashing a crooked smile, he shoves his hands into his pockets and leans against the doorjamb. “No. I was just checking to make sure Cia was okay. I ran into Tomas Endress earlier, and he was worried that he hadn’t seen her all day. Don’t worry, Cia.” Will’s smile grows wider. “I didn’t tell him that you spent most of the day with another guy.”

He winks.

Frowning, I look down at my hands as though embarrassed by Will’s words. In reality, I feel relief as Professor Holt dismisses Will with a reminder that all students are to remain inside the residence until after breakfast tomorrow.

When she turns her attention back to me, I quietly say, “Tomas and I aren’t as close as we used to be, but I don’t want to upset him if I don’t have to. We’re both from Five Lakes and . . .” I shrug and take a deep breath. “I thought it would be better if he heard that my visit to the city with Raffe was spur of the moment instead of something we planned.”

My nerves jump as Professor Holt stares at me, her eyes unblinking behind her glasses. “It is always difficult to decide whether emotional attachment is due to shared experiences or to something deeper. If you aren’t careful, those kinds of attachments can cause distractions you don’t need. That’s only one of the many reasons I’m pleased Dr. Barnes continued the practice of eliminating Testing memories in successful candidates. The last thing we need is students who have formed personal attachments as a mechanism for dealing with stress.”

At Professor Holt’s mention of The Testing, I find myself recalling the information I read earlier today and her placement on the list of people marked for death. While I don’t like Professor Holt, the idea of deliberately ending her life makes my heart cringe. “Professor Holt, can I ask a question?”