Graduation Day (The Testing, #3)(20)

For the first time, I find myself wishing that Ian had gone through The Testing with me. Knowing the choices he made during his Testing would help me now.

The thought shocks me. The Testing is wrong. Wishing that I knew what decisions Ian made during his Testing is wrong. And yet, despite the horrific nature of the tests, I think of what The Testing taught me about myself and about my fellow candidates. I understand that when pushed, I can shove back. That I am stronger and more resourceful than I ever thought possible. That my willingness to assume everyone believes in the values with which this country was founded and I was raised is flawed.

I think of Professor Holt and her statement that The Testing should be made even more strenuous. Of Dr. Barnes and his belief that The Testing’s purpose succeeds when the pressure of the tests causes a girl to take her own life. Of Symon, who has chosen to lead those who want change—boys like Ian and my brother—to kill even as he facilitates their own deaths.

Ian stands. “Are you done, Cia?”

I look down at the mostly full plate in front of me. But when I say, “Yes, I’ve had enough,” I know I am referring to so much more.





[page]Chapter 6


THE SUN IS bright. The vibrant green grass looks cool and inviting as I stride across it to an unoccupied area not far from the bridge. I want to be close to the only exit from this area in case I have forgotten something in my room and safety officials come for me. I doubt I would be able to flee, but I won’t let them take me without a fight.

The two officials on the other side of the ravine watch me as I look for a spot where I can settle. Some students who have chosen to treat being banned from their rooms as a holiday from work play a game of catch not far from the weeping willow tree. Others sit in groups, quietly talking. A few, like me, have gone off on their own, reading from books they must have brought with them to the morning mealtime.

For a moment, I stare off in the distance toward the Biological Engineering residence where Tomas is. I want nothing more than to go to him. To find out if his residence is also being searched. To tell him what I have learned and what I have been asked to do. To share the burden of the decision that deep in my heart I have made. Will he approve? Will he stand beside me and help me complete this test as he has done so many times before, or will this crackdown of University officials convince him once and for all it is time to run?

I don’t know.

But I know I cannot succeed in bringing down The Testing alone. For that I require help. I need people who are not only capable of doing what I ask, but whom I know I can trust.

“Where did you go yesterday afternoon?” The soft-spoken words make me turn, and I see Raffe standing next to a small sapling. “You were supposed to stay inside.”

Had I done so, I would not be planning what I am now. One choice has led to so many others.

“Too much had happened for me to stay in my room. So I took a ride to clear my head.” I’m getting good at telling shades of the truth.

“And now you have a plan.”

Instead of answering the implied question, I say, “While I was riding yesterday, I ended up going down a street that looked as if it hadn’t been repaired in some time. Are there a lot of streets like that near the University?”

“A few. Although not as many as there are on the other side of the city. There are more government officials in this area, so there are fewer areas that have not been kept in good repair. My father doesn’t even notice those streets exist.”

His father.

“But you’ve seen them.”

Raffe shrugs. “I made a point of visiting some of those neighborhoods last year. I was hoping I’d find some answers.”

I wait for him to tell me what answers he sought and what he found. When he doesn’t, I say, “The street I rode down is ten minutes from campus. A lot of the houses had graffiti on them.”

He cocks his head to the side. “I think I know the street you mean.”

“Do people live there? The houses look empty, but I thought I saw signs that some of the buildings are still in use.”

“There are always people who don’t want to adhere to the rules of the world they find themselves in. Since those streets are outside the notice of most government officials, they make good places to hide.”

That’s what I thought, too.

“Why do you ask?”

As much as I want to confide in Raffe, I am not sure I can. Despite everything that has happened in the last few days, I still don’t know if I am confident enough in what he believes to tell him about the president’s assignment. Without understanding his motivation in helping me, I cannot tell him more.

“I was just curious,” I say. “It’s different from the way we do things back home. Especially the different-color paints and drawings on some of the houses.”

“There are always kids looking for places to get away from their parents. Some of them liked to mark the houses they used to let other kids know the space was claimed. Officials put a stop to that when my brother was in school. Once that happened, the government lost interest in those sections of town. But mere curiosity isn’t the real reason you’re interested, is it?” When I don’t respond, he nods. “You still don’t trust me.”

Nearly everything inside me says that I should. But my father’s warning before I left Five Lakes haunts me—as does the outcome when I failed to heed his advice during The Testing. Though I want to trust, I can’t. Not yet. In this case, once trust is given it cannot be taken back. I have to be sure. “You still haven’t told me why I should.”