Gentleman Sinner(16)

‘And that,’ I agree quietly, resting my head on her shoulder, my mind running away with me. Theo had no intention of getting out of that car and coming after me. He was simply making sure I got home safely.





Chapter 4

‘There’s someone at the door,’ Jess calls from her bedroom, forcing me to vacate my cosy bed. I’d heard the knock but hoped Jess would answer so I could continue to ponder just how comfy my bed is. Very comfy, actually.

‘I’ve got it,’ I grumble, whipping the sheets back and dragging myself to the edge as I look at the clock. Eight o’clock. Who the hell is banging on the door at this time of the morning? I grab my T-shirt and wrestle it on as I hurry down the corridor to the door, swinging it open to find a young lad in a courier uniform.

‘Morning,’ he chirps, holding out a small box to me as he ogles my bare legs.

‘Morning,’ I grunt in return, taking the parcel from his limp grip and helping myself to the clipboard in his other hand. I scribble across the paper and shove it into his chest, backing away and shutting the door on his cheesy smile.

I make my way to the kitchen to fetch coffee, hearing Jess somewhere behind me. ‘Who was that?’ she asks, towel drying her hair.

‘Delivery.’ I slide the parcel on to the worktop and start making coffees, putting an extra heaped teaspoon of coffee granules in my mug.

‘What time you starting?’ She flops down into a chair at the table and accepts the cup I hand her.

‘Two.’ Collecting the box, I join her. ‘Last shift.’ I give her a toothy smile that’s returned, extra toothy. ‘I need to pack, find my passport, get some dollars.’ I start to rip open the package.

‘You haven’t done that yet?’ she asks incredulously. ‘Izzy!’

‘I’ve been working my arse off,’ I argue, not meaning to sugest that Jess hasn’t. I give her an apologetic smile when she gapes at me. ‘Or I’m just not as organized as you.’ I backtrack a little, blindly pulling the box open. The truth is, I needed to wait until today to exchange some money. It’s payday, and I’ve been skint for the past week. I have no excuse for not packing or finding my passport. ‘Oh, and I need to get a new phone.’

‘You do?’ Jess’s forehead becomes a sea of lines. ‘Then what’s that?’ She nods down at the box in my hand, and I follow her stare, peeking down at the now unwrapped package. An iPhone box stares back at me, and I lift the lid to find my iPhone. Not a scratch or dent in sight.

‘What the hell?’ I mumble, turning it over in my hand. ‘I left it in the alley in a million pieces.’ It bleeps loudly, and I jump in my chair, my phone jumping, too, right out of my hand. ‘Shit.’ I fumble to catch it and fail, and it tumbles to the kitchen floor, landing with a crash.

‘Oh my God, you’re the clumsiest person I know.’ Jess laughs.

I look at the phone on the ground at my feet, facedown. ‘I didn’t send it to be repaired,’ I say, confused. ‘But here it is, fixed and shiny like new. And it’s turned on, Jess.’ My eyes narrow. ‘And a message came through.’

‘Oh,’ she breathes, the penny finally dropping. ‘Him?’

‘Who else?’ I ask, my mind going off on a tangent, my nervous hands starting to twist the bottom of my T-shirt. But what about last night? He was so mad. And then he had Callum crawl along behind me in his big, flashy car to make sure I got home safely. The man is a big fat contradiction.

Jess’s eyes are bright and excited as she dips and collects the phone from the floor. ‘The screen is cracked.’ She hands it to me across the table while my heart works its way up to a vibration in my chest. My shaky hands accept my iPhone, and she nods, encouraging me to look. I take a long breath and close my eyes, seeing Theo as clear as day in my darkness. His face; his body; his sharp, bristly jaw. I hear his words, threatening but encouraging. I shiver and open the message:



Callum will pick you up at seven this evening. I’m taking you for dinner.

You will be gracious and accept.



My shakes go up a notch, making the phone tremble in my hold, and Jess is beside me in a split second, pulling her chair closer and taking the phone from my trembling hand, replacing it with my coffee. ‘Okay, let’s talk about this,’ she says, resting her forearms on the table, like she’s set for a board meeting. ‘What’s putting you off?’

‘I told you last night.’ I neglect to mention that I expect he’s not exactly a law-abiding citizen.

‘You’re worried you’ll get attached and it won’t work out?’

I shrug. ‘Guess so.’

‘But wouldn’t it be nice to have sex with a man because you really want to, and not because you simply want to prove to yourself that you can?’

She’s hit the nail on the head. Sex has always been purely a means to prove I’m not scarred for life by the bastard who tormented me. It doesn’t mean I enjoy it. It doesn’t mean I want it. My dalliances are almost robotic for me, and always without attachment. I’m not ruined. I’m just . . . a little broken.

Jess stands and pats my shoulder, smiling softly. ‘Please, Izzy, just do it. He’s obviously into you.’ She wanders off, leaving me at the table. ‘I’ve never seen you in a tangle over a man before. Don’t be afraid of feeling safe. You deserve to be.’