Frayed (Connections, #4)(95)

“Where is she?”

“She fell asleep—”

“I’m right here.” She pops up in the doorway fully dressed—thank f*ck.

“You woke up?” I smile over at her.

Her eyes dart to my sweatshirt and she grins at me.

Xander crosses over to her and pulls her in for a tight embrace. He leans back to look at her forehead and hugs her again. “Are you okay?”

She nods.

“You sure?”

I place my hand on the door as I witness what I already knew. This girl has been loved, protected, and sheltered her whole life by a family that adores her. There is no bad in her. She’s good through and through. I wish I could say the same. A feeling that maybe she’s too good for me makes my body tremble slightly. But when she looks over to me from her brother’s arms and winks, my stomach leaps.

“I’ll leave the two of you to talk.”

She pulls away from her brother and frowns at me.

“I thought I’d go grab some food.” I quickly add, “Where is the closest Italian spot for takeout?”

She smiles and her eyes gleam.

“Vito’s. Around the corner on North La Cienega Boulevard,” Xander says.

“Thanks.” I turn the handle on the door.

“Hey, man,” he says, and I turn around. “Thanks for taking care of my sister.”

I nod and as I turn back I catch S’belle’s big green eyes shimmering with happiness.





CHAPTER 30


Roar

Bell

The thing about family is—you can love them and dislike them at the same time, and right now I’m torn at seeing Xander. I nod toward the dark clouds massing on the horizon. “Looks like another storm is coming?”

He huffs, “I’m not here to talk about the weather.”

My brother’s stare is fierce, but I know I can be fiercer, or at least I think I can.

“I know.” I smile to lessen the tension.

His brow furrows as though he wants to say something but changes his mind.

“I quit my job.”

That earns me a smile.

“Finally,” he sighs with relief. “You know I never liked that guy. Bell, I understand you better than you think I do. I know you’re determined to prove to us that you can make it on your own. But I came over here to tell you, the thing is, you don’t have to.”

I open and shut my mouth without coming up with a response.

“You’re one of the lucky ones—don’t you get it? You have us. We’re here for you.”

He takes a step closer.

I breathe in, willing myself not to cry. “I know that.”

“Do you? Do you really know that no matter what, we love you?’

“I do.” My voice is a small squeak. So much for fierce.

“Then the next time you’re in a bad situation, I want you to tell me.” He looks around the room before continuing.

“Are we getting to the elephant in the room now?” I stand up straight and face him head-on.

His expression grows darker and truth be told, I feel a little scared. Not of him, of course, rather of him judging me. But I believe in Ben and I’m ready to take the first step. You have to crawl before you can walk, right? And Xander is going to be easier to open up to about Ben than River. So I take another deep breath. “Can we sit down? I have some things to tell you, and the first one is something I should have cleared up a long time ago.”

We’ve never spoken about the baby since the day I gave birth. But something inside me feels ready to open up to my brother in a way I’ve never felt I could before. So I tell Xander that I actually never talked to Ben, that my attempts to contact him and tell him I was pregnant were really not attempts at all. I tell him about this summer and then meeting back up with Ben a couple of months ago. I tell him that I want to see where the relationship will go. I stay strong. I tell my brother how I feel. And surprisingly he handles it okay. He isn’t thrilled, but he isn’t disappointed in me either.

When I finish, his look is unreadable.

Then he reaches across the sofa to squeeze my shoulder. “You know all I really care about is that you’re happy?”

I nod.

“And you know if you ever need me, no matter what the circumstances, I’ll be there for you in a heartbeat?”

I nod again. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now I’m going to get out of here.” He grins at me.

I fly across the couch and hug him. “I don’t say this often, but you’re the best brother—ever.”

“I won’t tell River you said that,” he jokes.

“Oh, I tell him the same thing.” I laugh.

He just shakes his head at me in amusement.

After Xander leaves I hop in the shower. Then I decide a quick cleanup and a mood enhancer are just what we need for the night. Twenty minutes later there’s a knock at my door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, Ben.”

“Ben who?”

“S’belle.” He sounds a little annoyed.

I’m sure he’s worried about what Xander had to say, so I cut him some slack. “Come in.”

He opens the door carrying bags of delicious-smelling Italian food. He looks around. I’ve really outdone myself. Soft music is playing in the background, candles are lit around the room, and my green bikini is lying over the back of the sofa. He raises an eyebrow. “Déjà vu.”