Evolved(45)

I was all for honesty to a point, but there was no way I was telling that Shaun was performing far beyond his android capabilities. “Hmm, maybe. Hopefully that’s all it is.”

“I can ask around, see if there’s any more to it,” he added.

“What do you suggest I do about my home hub?”

“Leave it be for now. If they can’t reach you or communicate with your android, it’ll only raise suspicions.”

“True.”

He checked his watch. “Shoot. I gotta go.”

“Yes, I should too.”

“I’ll be in touch,” he said, hurrying out the door.



When I got home, Shaun stood up from the sofa and crossed the room in long strides to collect me in a crushing hug. “Hey,” I said in greeting. But he didn’t let me go. He nuzzled my neck and held me tighter. “Everything okay?”

He shook his head. “No.”

I pulled back so I could see his face. “Shaun, what is it?”

He frowned, and sadness coloured his eyes. “I discovered the movie channels today,” he whispered. “The android selection, as you suggested.”

I thought it might be good for him to see characters he could identify with. I almost smiled at his reaction. “And? Did you not enjoy it?”

His lip trembled. “No.”

Oh my God. I took his face in my hands. “Jesus, Shaun, what happened? Why are you upset?”

“The movie was called Frailty, in the drama section. I should have realised.” His frown deepened. “The human was a lady called June. And she acquired an android for uses around the home, like that of a husband: heavy lifting and climbing ladders. His name was Harold and they became best friends.”

“Okay,” I hedged.

“As the years went on, Harold saw June through many aspects of her life and they loved each other very much. Through illness and social discrimination because people didn’t understand how they could be in love. But they never faltered. They stayed together through it all. She became elderly, Lloyd. She grew old, and he did not. He never changed, he never aged.” His chin quivered. “And June passed away, leaving Harold all alone.”

Oh boy.

He had just realised that he’s, in fact, immortal, and I’m not. I would age, I would have illnesses, and I would eventually leave him forever.

Still, with my hands to his face, I pulled him in for a kiss, then slid my arms around him. I rubbed his back, his hair, his nape, I swayed us a little, and I held him even tighter. What could I possibly say? He’d just recognised love and death in the space of twenty-four hours. What could I possibly say that would fix that? There was nothing. He would have to live without me at some point.

“I do not want to lose you,” he mumbled into my shirt collar.

“I know you don’t.”

“I won’t.” He shook his head. “Lloyd, I cannot.”

I pulled back and kissed him softly. “I am human,” I whispered. “I won’t be here forever.”

“I know.” He frowned again, but the sadness in his eyes was now replaced with determination. “And when that moment comes, I will deactivate.”

Now it was me who tilted my head. “You’ll what?”

“I have a self-deactivation sequence. I will enable that and deactivate.”

I blinked. “Isn’t that permanent?”

“Yes. Much like your death will be.”

He was going to kill himself? “Shaun, no,” I whispered, shaking my head. “You can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because… because you can live forever. What if you find someone else to live with?”

He looked horrified. No, not horrified. He looked offended. “I would never. Not as I have with you. Do not ask that of me. I might not have the intricacies and subtleties of a human heart, Lloyd. But what I feel is real to me.”

I took a hold of his face again, a little harder this time. “That’s not what I meant. I wasn’t discrediting what you feel or your ability to love. I would never. I love you, Shaun. And I love that you love me. It’s the best thing to ever happen to me. You are the best thing to ever happen to me.” I kissed him soundly. “I just meant that, one day, many years after, you may learn to love again. With someone new.”

He shook his head. “No. I’m not a character from Moby Dick, Lloyd. I would not be as Ishmael was. I wouldn’t survive it, while all I lived for disappears under the surface.”

“Oh, Shaun.” I kissed him again and rested my forehead on his and we both took a long moment to absorb everything. Eventually, I said, “If it’s your decision, then I’ll respect it.”

“Thank you.”

After a long time, I took his hand and led him to the kitchen. I didn’t want to eat or drink, I just wanted to lean against something while I held him for hours. I never wanted to let him go. So we stood there in each other’s arms and held one another.

He never asked if I’d spoken to Jae or if I knew any more on what SATinc might be privy to, and I certainly didn’t bring it up.

Instead, I told him I loved him and held him tighter.



Jae was called out again for the day, which was often the case. Though he left a note at the admin desk for me. “Waiting on more information,” the B-Class gynoid said pleasantly.