Evolved(42)

“I’m sure you are correct,” he said, answering both conversations. “Are you hungry? I can get your dinner.”

I leaned in and kissed him. “Dinner sounds great.”

I took the notepad and followed him into the kitchen. The fact he’d used initiative and creativity to even think to use a silent, analogue way to communicate was incredibly clever. And well and truly outside of android parameters. And did he use a contraction just now?

“I think I feel like vegetables tonight,” I said while I wrote on the notepad. Clever use of pen and paper.

He took the vegetable dinner from the fridge, grinned at me, and kissed me with smiling lips. He placed the meal in the oven and quickly wrote on the paper. Thank you. Then writing messages became our thing. During dinner, afterwards, watching TV. He seemed to find it exciting and amusing. Now we’ve finished Moby Dick, would you like to select a new novel for us to read?

Oh. I totally wasn’t expecting that. Would you like to choose?

Shaun could write so much faster than me. His hand flew over the page so fast. I think I would like to reread Moby Dick.

I also wasn’t expecting that.

Then he added, Though you have read it many times and may not wish to read it again so soon.

I took the notepad, and he waited patiently for me to write. I’ll happily reread if you want to. I love it.

He took the notepad and pen and hesitated. He put the nib to the page several times and obviously thought about what he wanted to write. Why do you love it?

I took the pen. It’s a literary masterpiece.

His brow creased and he wrote quickly. Love indicates emotional attachment, therefore it makes you feel.

Yes. Reading elicits many emotions. I get great enjoyment out of it.

He took the notepad back and held the pen poised, and he seemed to think for a long moment, then put his pen down and slowly put the notepad on the coffee table.

“Shaun?”

He looked at me and sat back, his hands fisted on his thighs. For the first time in a long time, he looked… like an android.

“What’s wrong?”

He glanced at the home hub and shook his head. I picked up the notepad and pen and handed it back to him.

He stared at me for a long, long moment, then wrote three words that changed everything.

What is love?





Chapter Ten





God, how did it come to this? I wasn’t expecting this. Not ever again. It was one thing to know I was in love. I’d admitted that to myself already, but to admit it to Shaun… to an android? An android who was never supposed to be anything more than company. Someone for me to talk to, to save me from being alone.

To save me.

This wasn’t a conversation to be scrawled on paper. I looked at the home hub. “Playlist Classical.” Mozart began to play. “Volume Up.”

I took Shaun’s hand and went into our room, closing the door behind us. I had no idea if playing music would have any effect if SATinc could listen. For all I knew, they could hear me through Shaun. And if that was the case, then it was hopeless because this had to be said.

“Love is…”

He spoke when my voice trailed away. “I understand there can be a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts. I understand the Greek history from eros and agape. I know that sciences like psychology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have added to the understanding of the concept of love. I can read any definition in any language, Lloyd. I can quote poetry and science, but I cannot quantify the… there is an emotional equation that I cannot determine an answer to.”

Oh boy.

I sat on my bed and waited for him to sit next to me, then looked into his eyes. “Shaun, love isn’t logical. There’s no formula.”

He frowned slowly. “I am conflicted.”

Oh hell. He was confused, trying to solve the complexities of human emotion like a mathematical equation. “Shaun, did something happen? To make you feel this way?”

“On Home and Away, Sharon told Ridge she loved him. He did not return it and she became unreasonable.”

Oh. God. Of course it was from that stupid TV show. It couldn’t have been for me… he’s an android. Disappointment and shame snuffed out any hope, and my heart felt like concrete.

Shaun’s eyebrows furrowed. “And you speak of books and of literature in general with such fondness. And tonight you tell me you love it.”

I nodded, not sure I trusted myself to speak.

“I have tried to understand what love could mean,” he whispered. “A-Class androids are fitted with synthetic chemical reactions to replicate oxytocin and vasopressin.” Then he spoke like he was quoting some research paper. “Released during sex and heightened by skin-to-skin contact, oxytocin deepens feelings of attachment and makes couples feel closer to one another after sexual relations. Oxytocin provokes feelings of contentment, calmness, and security, which are often associated with mate bonding. Vasopressin has been linked to behaviour that produces long-term, monogamous relationships. In addition to the positive feelings romance brings, love also deactivates the neural pathway responsible for negative emotions, such as fear and social judgement. These positive and negative feelings involve two neurological pathways. The one linked with positive emotions connects the prefrontal cortex to—”