Down Too Deep (Dirty Deeds, #4)(36)

After a minute, two at the most, Jenna had calmed down enough her body was no longer shaking. I couldn’t hear her agony. Only the quiet hiccups in her breath.

“I’d let him see them,” she said, her voice floating up my shoulder. She was still facing the ocean. “I would let Derek know them if he ever reaches out, but I swear to God…if he gets their hopes up just to hurt them further…” Her head shook. She whimpered and pulled at my shirt, needing more of it to hold on to.

“You’ll protect them. You won’t let that happen,” I said. My next words spilled out of my mouth, and they were loaded. “Fuck, I won’t let that happen.”

Jenna’s breath caught. We both went perfectly still, until she leaned back enough to peer up at me. She didn’t say a word. Neither did I—I’d said enough.

This arrangement we had was on a deadline. The end of summer would be the end of this, me coming home to Jenna and her kids, seeing them practically every day, spending time together, knowing them as well as I did…It couldn’t last. Jenna would return to work at her office and Marley would go to daycare. I already had one lined up. We wouldn’t be in each other’s lives like we were now and we both knew that, so what was I saying?

I caught a tear as it rolled down Jenna’s cheek, wiping it away with my thumb. I expected her to question what the hell I was doing and to press for clarification on my promise to her and the kids, but she didn’t. She closed her eyes and leaned into my hand, and I couldn’t remember ever wanting to kiss someone so badly before. Not even Sadie.

That revelation paralyzed me. I suddenly couldn’t breathe.

When Jenna pulled back and stepped away, pausing to ask if I was coming inside, I was grateful for the prompt. Without it, I wasn’t sure I’d move. And when she didn’t hustle her kids out the front door and instead cued up a movie on Netflix for them, I felt life in my limbs again. Blood warmed in my veins and rushed beneath my skin. Another revelation…

I didn’t want them to leave.

Jenna sat on the couch and beckoned her kids to join her. They flanked her side, Oliver settling into the crook of her arm and Olivia gripping her hand. Everyone’s tears were gone.

Olivia smiled up at me like she always did and patted the cushion beside her. Again, I was grateful for the gesture. Why the hell I couldn’t move all of a sudden without encouragement, I didn’t know. But I knew I’d been waiting for it. I repositioned Marley so she was cradled in my arms and took a seat beside Olivia. When she scooted closer, eliminating the space I’d left on the cushion between us, and threw her bare feet up over my leg, I smiled at the TV.

Halfway through Guardians of the Galaxy, I stopped fighting the urge to look over at Jenna. Sensing the attention, she turned her head to me and smiled.

“Are you doing anything yet on the Fourth?” I asked, keeping my voice low.

“I don’t think so.”

“A friend of mine has this huge party every year. He’s right on the beach…His house is ridiculous. Huge pool with a water slide.” I smiled down at Olivia when that piqued her interest. Round eyes blinked behind her glasses. I looked at Jenna again. “Private fireworks show. DJ. Tons of food…”

“Sounds fun,” she said.

“Do you want to go with me?”

“I do,” Olivia answered just as Oliver sat forward to peer back at his mother.

“I want to go,” he said. His hair was sticking up wildly from Jenna’s fingers. “Mom, can we? That sounds cool.”

“Sure.” Jenna kissed the top of his head when he settled back against her. Then she looked over at me again.

I hadn’t turned away. It took me half a movie to cave in to watching her, and now I wasn’t sure I wanted to stop.





Chapter Nine





JENNA




I giggled, hand covering my mouth, as I scrolled through the four pictures of Marley Nathan had sent me an hour ago. In the first two, she was buried in the sand with only her head sticking out, the biggest smile on her face and Nathan’s sunglasses shielding her eyes. In the second pair, she had Nathan’s hat on sideways and was chasing after bubbles, trying to pop them.

“Earth to Jenna.” My brother’s voice tickled my ear.

“Mm? What? I’m listening.” I stuffed my phone into my purse and grinned at Brian, who stood on the other side of the counter at Wax Surf Shop, arms folded over his broad chest and green eyes bright. He looked amused. “Did you say something?” I asked.

Brian smirked, glanced across the store where Oliver and Olivia were currently checking out boards along the far wall, verifying they were still well out of eavesdropping territory, before Brian turned back to me and said, “You tell me you’re not doin’ this guy and I’m callin’ bullshit.”

“Brian,” I snapped, glancing over at the kids out of habit before I continued. “I’m not…doin’ Nathan. God, why would you say that? I’m looking at pictures of his daughter.”

His face was expressionless.

“What?”

“Getting defensive about it, I see.”

Oh my God. “I was looking at pictures of his daughter! Here!” I stuffed my hand into my purse and palmed my phone but decided against whipping it out as proof.