Down Too Deep (Dirty Deeds, #4)(33)

“I don’t give a fuck about what anyone would say. That’s not it.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

I sighed and sat forward, hunching over in the chair. I rubbed at my face. “Nothing…I don’t know. It’s early.”

“No fucking shit, you bastard. You’re the one who woke me up.” We laughed together.

“Maybe it’ll just be what it is, man,” Davis offered, no trace of humor in his voice anymore. “Not wrong or fine without her. Just new, you know? Different…”

I considered this. Different wasn’t bad—I was living it. This new normal…life without Sadie. I didn’t hate it. I didn’t want it either, and if I’d had a choice I’d never have asked for this, but it didn’t feel wrong anymore. It just simply was.

Maybe Davis was right.

“Damn.” He sounded impressed.

“What?”

“I just got real profound before five a.m. That does not typically happen.”

I smirked. “Is this your way of saying you’d like a wake-up call every day? I could arrange that.”

“If you call me again this early, I’ll drive the two hours instead of answering and beat the shit out of you.”

I chuckled. I was already feeling better. “It’s good to talk to you, man,” I said, meaning it. I missed this.

“I know. I’m a fucking delight.”

I shook my head and stood, crossing the room to my dresser. I pulled out a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. “All right. I’ll let you get back to your beauty sleep.”

“See you on the Fourth?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Good. Later, man.” The call disconnected.

As I sat on the edge of the bed, tying my sneakers, a text came through.

Call anytime. I’ll answer.



*



I got home that night just after seven, but instead of the laughter and animated voices I was used to hearing when I stepped up onto the porch, I heard yelling. Someone was clearly upset.

It was Oliver. That much was clear. I couldn’t make out what he was saying though. Jenna’s voice was raised too, just not as loud as Oliver’s.

I pushed the door open and stepped inside the house.

“It’s not fair!” Oliver screamed. “You don’t get it, Mom! You just don’t!” Tears ran down his reddened face. He was standing in front of the couch in his Boy Scout uniform, facing off with Jenna, who was cradling Marley against her chest a few feet away. My daughter was whining and burying her face in Jenna’s shirt. Olivia was on the love seat, slouched over and covering her ears.

“Oliver, please calm down,” Jenna said, glancing over at me and mouthing, I’m sorry, as I stepped farther into the room after securing the door. She turned back to Oliver. “We can talk about this later when you’re not so upset.”

“No!” He stomped his foot. “No, Mom! I don’t want to talk about this later…Nothing’s going to change! I’m not going!”

“Okay, fine, you don’t have to go…Nobody is making you go, baby.”

“What’s going on?” I asked, rounding the couch and stepping up beside Jenna. I took Marley from her, holding my daughter against my chest, then looked to Oliver just as more tears rolled down his cheeks.

I’d never seen him upset before. He was always happy.

“You okay, bud?” I asked him.

Oliver looked at me. His lip started quivering a second before he slapped his hands over his face and sobbed so hard, he nearly folded in on himself. His little shoulders jerked in distress.

Jenna moved closer, reaching out for him. “Oh, baby…I’m sorry.”

“I want to go,” he whimpered. “I want to go so bad, Mom. This isn’t fair…” He sniffled, lifting his head to peer up at her. Before Jenna could touch him, he jerked back and twisted out of reach, shouting, “Stop! Just leave me alone!”

Jenna straightened up and drew her hand against her chest.

Oliver scrambled onto the love seat with his sister, lying sideways with his back to us and curling himself into a ball. He cried into the armrest while Olivia patted his hip. She was crying now too.

“I’m so sorry,” Jenna whispered, turning away from them to face me. She had tears in her eyes now.

I rubbed Marley’s back and gestured for Jenna to follow me into the kitchen. “Come on. Let’s talk.”

She glanced back at her kids. “Can we go outside?” she asked, halting me at the slider.

“Yeah, of course.” I pulled the door open and followed her onto the deck. The evening sun dipped toward the horizon.

Jenna stepped up to the railing and looked below us. Her hands curled around the wood. “I just didn’t want them hearing,” she explained when I got beside her. She offered me a sad smile.

“What happened?”

“I’m sorry he was yelling like that in your house.”

“Jenna, I don’t care. He can yell wherever he wants.” I stepped closer. “What happened? Why is he so upset?”

Marley had settled down now and was rubbing her face against my shirt. She’d be asleep soon. I could tell she was tired. I pressed my lips to her hair and patted her back, watching Jenna gaze out at the ocean.