Dear Heart, You Screwed Me(30)

I nodded, sniffling and my intake of breath sharp. He pulled away, standing slowly in his expensive and tailored suit.

Pushing off the floor, I sulked into the open plan living and kitchen area. I slumped on the sofa. Killian followed but headed to the kitchen. I didn’t let my eyes follow, I focused on the blank, white wall in front of me. I needed to spend some money on the apartment and make it a bit more homely. It came already furnished but I bought all new bedding and mattress. The thought of someone sleeping in that bed gave me the ick. I didn’t have long to be lost in my thoughts as Killian was back with a large glass of wine, holding it out towards me. I took it gladly and sighed.

“Thank you.”

He rubbed his lips into a tight line, stepped back and headed for the door.

“I’ll be back soon,” the sound of the door closing behind him echoing around in the deathly silence.

“Don’t rush,” I snarled out to the empty room. Bringing the glass to my lips I took a large mouthful. I hummed in appreciation at the taste of the wine. It tasted even better because I was so desperate for it.

I heard my phone ringing in my bag, hopping up I ran and rummaged in my bag that Killian had hung up on the coat hook. Smiling when I saw it was Connie, I clicked answer.

“Why have you been so MIA?” I laughed.

“Oh, you know, boy stuff,” she laughed back.

“Mmhmm, wish I had that problem,” even though I did have that problem, all of six-foot-six of a problem, wrapped in the perfect suit with a killer jaw line and deep brown eyes.

“I am sorry for being a crappy friend, dinner tonight?” I could hear the desperation in her voice.

“As tempting as that is, I have so much to do ready for my lunch with Harlen Laufer tomorrow, I really can’t be going for dinner, but how about tomorrow?” I said with hopefulness in my voice.

“Boo, you whore,” she cackled.

“Okay Regina George,” I rolled my eyes in humour.

“But seriously, tomorrow is good. I’m on a late shift tomorrow, start at eight so can we go straight after you finish work?”

“Of course, how about we eat in the hotel, that way we don’t have to rush as much.”

“Perfect. I’ll meet you at five-thirty?”

“Five-thirty is perfect.”

“See you tomorrow bitch tits.”

“Love you,” I felt the smile on my face growing.

“Mwah, love you more,” she kissed before the phone went dead. Slipping it back into my bag I padded to the bathroom and began running the water. I couldn’t give a shit if Killian turned up as I let myself wrinkle in the bath and was locked out in the hall, banging on the door. He deserved it.

Turning the tap off, I stripped off and let myself submerge into the bath. The hot water felt good on my tense skin. It was tense because of my accidental husband. And what a beautiful, persistent twat of a husband he was.

I felt the tingles spread through me at the thought of his plump lips pressing against my skin. For a small moment, I wondered what they would feel like on my lips, his tongue pressing and invading my mouth. Was he dominant? Or did he like the girl to be dominant… who am I kidding? He is fucking dominant. I thought about how his fingers would circle and trail over my skin before they slipped between my legs, grazing over the most sensitive part of my body and showing me what it is like to feel and be loved again. But my thoughts were soon plagued with him doing that to Adele and me somehow watching and not being able to shout out.

I slipped under the bubbles and screamed, I needed them out of my head. It was wrong. My head should just be filled with Elijah. Always Elijah.

The guilt crushed me in an instant; pushing out of the water, I let the tears fall. It didn’t help with the guilt that it was Elijah’s anniversary of his death a few weeks ago and that date lays heavy on my shoulders. The pain didn’t ease like I thought it was going to.

No, it was still prominent, and the ache was a constant reminder of what I had lost.

I reached for my wine and downed it. I wanted to feel anything other than the betrayal I felt. Would I ever be able to move on? Or more to the point, did I even want to move on?





CHAPTER 13





KILLIAN





I felt like a complete dick. I don’t know what it is about her, but I want to push her, I want to see how much she can take from me. I want her to fall for me. I want that the most.

I am a possessive ass, I know I am.

But I don’t care. She is mine.

Legally bound to me. Until death do us part.

Or at least until the annulment; the thing is, I don’t think I am quite ready to give her up yet.

Sure, she is eighteen years younger than me, but do I care? Do I fuck.

Walking along the sidewalk, I stopped at the small Chinese restaurant. I didn’t even know if she liked Chinese, but she needed to eat. Plus, I needed to get out of her apartment for a bit, I needed to let her cool off. I had crossed a line tonight.

Pushing on the door, the warmth hit me as soon as I was in the restaurant.

“Welcome to Wok ‘N’ Roll, table for one?” The young male waiter asked me.

Pushing my hand through my hair, I shook my head.

“I ordered take out, called about fifteen minutes ago.”

“Ah okay, name?” he asked, stuffing the menu back under the host station.