Confidential(21)

“No one does takeout like you,” he says. I smile back. I especially appreciate his appreciation, since that proclivity of mine had been such a bone of contention in my marriage.

I can’t help wishing, though, that we weren’t in my apartment yet again. I’d offered to make a reservation at any restaurant he wanted, requesting a back booth, and we could even arrive in separate cars, and besides, even if someone recognized us, he could just introduce me as Flora. He didn’t even have to say “my girlfriend, Flora.” Not yet. All those concessions, but he said he wasn’t comfortable with it yet. Soon, he promised.

“Is anything wrong?” he asked.

“No.” I smiled wider. I didn’t want Kate to feel any tension. She was my guest. Moreover, she was the first one seeing Michael and me together, and I wanted her to approve. Funny, she’d always been the one seeking my approval, and now the tides had turned. I put out my hand, and he took it. Then he pulled me into his arms.

“Mmm,” he said. “New perfume?”

He was the best noticer I’d ever been with. Always the first to compliment me on a new dress or a new scent. To compliment me on takeout, for fuck’s sake. Where did I get off complaining just because he needed more time to get comfortable? I wanted him comfortable.

“We have forever, right?” I asked him.

He drew back his head so he could look into my eyes. “That,” he said, “is the plan.”

We kissed, and then Kate yelled, “Get a room, you two!” and we laughed as we started carrying the serving dishes and platters out to the dining room.

Kate looked beautiful by candlelight. Since I last saw her, she’d started dyeing her hair dark red and was wearing matching lipstick. With her creamy pale skin, she looked like the mysterious woman in an espionage novel, the one disappearing into the night in a well-fitted trench coat.

We started eating the tea-leaf salad. Michael made an appreciative noise, as if to play along with the ruse that I’d done more than procure, and Kate chimed in. “This is really delicious! I’ve never had this kind of salad before, with all these nuts and seeds and spices,” she said. “I don’t even know exactly where Burma is.”

“It’s really Myanmar,” Michael said. “Bordered by India, Bangladesh, Thailand, and China.”

“Michael’s one of those people who just knows everything,” I said. “I love that about him.”

“You love everything about him!” Kate said.

Michael did a double take. This visit was supposed to be when she first learned about him, but that remark made it sound like she’d been hearing about him for months.

“Since I landed,” she clarified, “it’s been Michael, Michael, Michael.”

Fortunately, he seemed mollified. “In my head,” he said, “it’s always Flora, Flora, Flora.”

I smiled at him and touched the back of his hand. “It’s amazing that we can feel so strongly in such a short time. I’ve never been caught up like this before, with anyone.”

“I know! When you got together with Young, it was just such a checklist, you know?” Kate took an enthusiastic sip of her wine. I knew that her addiction wasn’t to alcohol; it was to everything else, but still. I wished she’d given up drinking along with the rest of it. “Young was handsome, and she knew he would make lots of money, and sure, he treated her like a princess most of the time, and yes, they got along really well and they were in love, but—” She stopped talking and shook her head with a rueful laugh. “Sorry, I don’t know where I was going with that.”

“The checklist,” I said, my smile tight. “How I loved Young because I thought I was supposed to.” Whereas Michael was the opposite. I loved him despite every impediment.

“Right,” Kate said, but she didn’t elaborate.

Michael finished his glass of wine. “Young was a starter marriage. Flora and I are completely different.”

I stiffened slightly. I had the strangest desire to defend my marriage to Young, even though what I wanted most was for Kate to see how superior Michael was. How much more evolved my new love was than my old. I chose Young when I didn’t even know myself. What I had with Michael was exponentially more profound.

Kate had this look on her face that I’d never seen before as she watched Michael. I wanted Kate here because she never judged, but now I realized that what she was doing, right then, was actively withholding judgment. I’d been hoping for a judgment in my—in Michael’s—favor. I wanted her to be taken with him, to be taken in by him, to see what I saw and what we had.

But it was like the jury was out.

For me, it wasn’t. This was my man. He was meant to be my man. That’s why he came into my life when he did, in the way he did. Yes, it was taking a while to work out the kinks, but wasn’t Kate the one who’d urged me to be patient?

“What was Flora like when she was younger?” Michael asked Kate.

She started to tell anecdotes, and he was laughing, and I joined in, though I’d heard these stories too many times to be truly amused by them anymore. I’d even told one to Michael before. Watching him, you wouldn’t have been able to tell that. He was giving Kate his full attention. It was his gift.

The atmosphere had noticeably shifted, and by the time I was clearing the table of the various curries and noodle dishes, I felt like he’d done it. He’d won her over. She saw his charms, and more than that, she saw that he didn’t merely love me; he was fascinated by me. He endeavored to know me inside and out, much more so than Young or anyone else I’d ever met, except for Kate herself.