Come Back for Me (Arrowood Brothers #1)(63)

“No . . .” I see the wheels turning. “You don’t think he thinks we can ride the cows, do you?”

I chuckle and shake my head. “I think he knows better.”

“Are you sure? He’s not really good with the cows.”

She isn’t wrong. Thankfully, the foreman, Joe, and the workers on what was my farm love me and came here to help Connor. They hated Kevin and were all too happy to leave him, especially after they found out he beat me.

We’ve moved the Walcott cows onto Arrowood land to ensure nothing happened to them, but Kevin’s farm is no longer functioning.

“I guess we could let him know if he tries it,” I say conspiratorially. “But he seemed really excited.”

“Mommy, is it okay if I love Connor?”

Her question knocks the air from my lungs. She and Connor have become very close, and he’s made it very clear he wants Hadley and me in his life. “Yes, baby, it’s very okay that you love him.”

“Good, because I do.”

“I’m glad. He loves you too.”

She beams. “I know, he told me. Do you think Daddy will be mad?”

Shit. I don’t know what to tell her, but I don’t want to lie either. She hasn’t said anything about Kevin recently. In fact, she’s been completely avoiding anything that even remotely pertains to him. We haven’t told her that Kevin isn’t her biological father yet, and I know that Connor wants her to find out in a special way.

I don’t want to take that from her.

“Hadley,” I squat and take her wrists in my hands, “do you remember what I told you about love?”

She purses her lips and shrugs. “No.”

Typical kid. “Well, I told you that when you love someone, it’s a gift and that the person on the other end should always be grateful for it. How do you think you would feel if Connor was a part of our life? Would you want him to always be around?”

“Like a dad?”

I nod. “Yeah, like that. If we spent time with him and maybe loved him with all our hearts.”

I’m on very shaky ground, but I’d like to gauge her receptiveness a bit. She’s a huge part of my decision-making process. If the idea scares her, I will back off. I will never again put her in a position where she’s filled with fear.

“Do you love Connor?”

“I do.”

She smiles so wide I worry she’ll break her face. “I think he loves you too, Mommy.” Her voice is just a whisper.

“Why do you think that?”

“He watches you.”

“Watches me?”

Hadley nods. “He stares at you, and I think he loves you and wants to kiss you.”

Oh, she would be very right on the kissing part, but Connor and I are clearly not doing very good at hiding our feelings.

Just then, he comes striding up to the house like straight out of an Austen novel. He strides through the thick grass as though he’s Mr. Darcy with the sun streaming from behind him. He’s so damn gorgeous that if I weren’t holding Hadley’s hand I’d be running toward him.

“See,” Hadley’s voice is quiet, “he’s watching you.”

I look down at her with a grin. “Yeah, I guess he is.”

“I want to stay with Connor.”

I don’t say anything, but I squeeze her hand a little.

“There are my girls. How about we go on our adventure.”

I’d go anywhere with him.

Hadley releases my hand and jumps off the porch toward him without warning. I almost scream, but he catches her without missing a beat. “Where are we going?” she asks as she wraps her arms around his neck.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Let’s go!” Hadley exclaims.

We grab our jackets and get into his car. Hadley has her headphones on and is watching a show, oblivious to where we’re going. Throughout the ride, I keep sneaking looks at him, and each time he catches me, he grins. Subtly, he places his hand on the center console and inches it closer to mine. Following his lead, I do the same until the tips of our fingers hook together.

I glance back at Hadley, who is engrossed in her show.

“She asked about you and us today.”

He glances up in the mirror and then back to me. “And?”

“I think we should tell her.”

“You know what that means?”

I do. It means that this thing we’re doing is real. It means that he wants us to be a family and he wants us to move in with him and commit to something more.

As much as fear is a very relevant feeling, when I look at him, I still can’t imagine any other outcome. Walking away from him isn’t possible. I love him. It might be fast, but it’s what I feel in my heart.

Connor is selfless and I’ve never had that before.

“I want it all, but I need to go slow.”

“I know.”

“As long as you understand that.”

His hand shifts, and he weaves our hands a bit tighter together. “We can tell her and the rest is at your pace. Just know that when it comes to her, I may not be able to pump the brakes.”

That part is perfectly fine. I want her to love him, and I want her to be the one thing he loves more than anything. He and I can pace ourselves a bit and don’t need to work on a timeline, but I won’t rob them of any more time together.