Come Back for Me (Arrowood Brothers #1)(34)

I’ve been there.

Too many times.

I climb the wooden slats and pop my head up and smile at her. “You should probably pick another spot if you don’t want me to find you, but then I know how hard it is to avoid this tree when you know it has magical powers to keep you safe.”

Her lip quivers. “I don’t want to go back there. I don’t want to go to the house again. I want to stay here—with you.”

“Well, running away isn’t going to change whatever choice your mom makes.”

Hadley’s frown falls deeper. “I’m scared.”

I don’t blame her. “You know that your mother would never make you go back home if it weren’t safe. She’s probably a little scared too.”

“Mommies and daddies aren’t afraid of anything.”

“Oh, sure they are. Grown-ups get scared of things all the time.”

Hadley crosses her arms over her chest and stares at me. “No, they don’t.”

I let out a low chuckle. “I get scared.”

“No way! You’re the strongest boy in the world. You’re just saying that.”

I love that she thinks that highly of me. I want to be the hero she sees me as, but heroes always fall the farthest when they fail their charge. She’s had enough of that.

“If you come down from the tree, I’ll tell you all about mine.”

Hadley seems to mull it over and then sighs. “You’re going to take me back and make me go home.”

I know how she feels. When Declan or Sean would come get me from here, I would drag my feet. Going back to where you feel as though you’re only going to run away from again is horrible. If I could’ve lived in this tree, I would’ve. My father had no idea I was there, and I could finally breathe.

However, the one thing I always respected was that my brothers never lied when it mattered. They told me what we had to do, and we protected each other, like I’ll do for her.

“I am going to take you back, but I promise that no matter what, you are going to be okay.”

It’s hard being a kid and even harder when you feel like the world around you is crumbling. Everything I know about her has shown that she isn’t going to openly defy anyone. She loves her mother, but I imagine she feels lost.

“Why can’t we stay with you?” she asks as she starts to move toward me.

“Because you have to do what your mother says.”

“I’d rather stay up here.”

I chuckle to myself as the thunder rumbles again, and I give her a pointed look. “You know, once the lightning comes, I’m going to need to rush back to the house.”

Her head whips to me quickly. “You’ll leave me here . . . all by myself in the storm?”

No, but I need to get her down because the tree isn’t a safe place to hide out in a lightning storm. I can already see flashes in the distance.

I give her a dramatic sigh. “I’m afraid of lightning . . . I won’t be able to stay. So, either you come down and I tell you all about my fears while we go back to the house or you stay here in the storm—you pick.”

Hadley moves to the edge. “Fine. I’ll go with you. But only because you’re scared.”

I smile and duck my head before she can see it. “I’ll meet you at the bottom.”

Once she’s safely on the ground, I find myself staring at her a little closer. Her eyes are the same color as mine and my brothers’ eyes, which are green with small flecks of gold. We used to be beaten for it because they reminded Dad of our mother. We had her eyes.

Now, looking at Hadley, I see it.

Or maybe I’m fucking wishing it were true because then she would be mine. I would never let that fucking asshole touch her or her mother again, not that I would let that happen if Hadley weren’t mine.

Still, I have never wanted something to be so true in my entire life.

I don’t care about any vows I made in the past because I would die before I’d let anything happen to Hadley or Ellie. I’ve known it from the minute I saw Ellie eight years ago, and that need for her is still as strong, but now, it’s the same with Hadley.

This little girl will own my heart, regardless of whose blood runs in her veins.

She and I start walking and her posture rips at my soul. Her shoulders are slumped in defeat and the normal chatter I’ve come to know as her is gone. It’s as though we’re walking toward some horrible fate. I wish I could take it away from her, keep them both with me where I know they’re both safe. I refuse to take even an ounce of control away from her mother, though.

“Connor?” Hadley asks as we move through the field.

“Yeah?”

“What are you scared of?”

So many things come to mind, all of which revolve around people I love. “When I was little, I was terrified of storms. I was stuck up in that tree for a big one where the bolts were hitting the ground. It was so bad that even the cows were scared. I was so afraid that it took my older brothers coming to find me before I would leave.”

“What about now?” she asks.

Now, I’m afraid that she’s my daughter and I’m never going to deserve her. I’m scared she won’t be my daughter and the part of me that has this bit of hope will never recover from the loss of what was never mine to begin with. Mostly, I’m afraid I won’t be able to protect her or Ellie.