Come Back for Me (Arrowood Brothers #1)(12)

I have no idea how wealthy or poor we are. It’s another way for him to control me.

But I have my own income now.

Kevin has no idea that I’m being paid as a full-time teacher. He believes I’m volunteering, and I need to keep it that way. About six months ago, I opened a bank account in Hadley’s name.

“I’m glad you fixed it, though. I’m sure it’ll help with keeping the equipment safe.”

Kevin nods. “Especially now that old man Arrowood is dead. I heard his asshole sons are back. It’s all the farmhands could talk about. Like I pay them to gossip all day.”

“I’m sure that was frustrating. You deal with the workers so much better than I ever could.” I go for empathy and flattery. The more I let him think I’m on his side, the more likely it is that his temper will hold.

He drops his sandwich and drains the glass sitting beside him. Then he turns to me, his eyes boring into mine, and I see that it didn’t work.

“Are you mocking me?”

“Kevin, stop. You’re looking for something that isn’t there.”

His jaw clenches. “I’m tired of feeling judged by everyone.”

“I’m not judging you, I’m complimenting you. There’s a difference. I don’t want to fight today, so please don’t turn this into one.”

I’ve never been more grateful that Hadley was outside. If this escalates, at least she won’t see it.

The thing is, Kevin is always careful of where he strikes, careful not to leave marks where people will see them. And there are always marks, even if they’re not visible on the outside.

He only makes mistakes when he’s too drunk to care, and that isn’t this time.

Kevin’s eyes close, and I start to speak again. “I was being kind, and I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true. You’re my husband, and I’m allowed to say nice things to you. You work hard, you provide for this family.”

“I’m not good enough for you, Ellie.”

We both know that’s true.

“Don’t say that. It’s me who isn’t good enough,” I lie. I have to.

His lids lift, and I see a sad, scared man beneath it all.

This is what used to get to me. The way he would be so apologetic, so humbled, that I forgave him. I didn’t understand, but I smiled and allowed him to keep treating me awfully. Kevin is my husband, he was supposed to be my protector, my world, and I’d wanted that more than anything.

I was so na?ve and hopeful and in need of love that I accepted whatever form it came in.

“Don’t leave me, baby.”

I choke down all the words I want to say, the anger that lives inside me, and I act. Not for my own safety but for the little girl outside who will hear through the too-thin walls if his voice rises.

My hands lift so I’m cupping his cheeks, and I stare into the eyes of a man I’ve come to fear and resent. “Never.”

“Good, because I would die, Ells. I would die if you were gone and you took my baby girl with you. I would be nothing without you. I am nothing without you. I know I’m fucked up, but it’s because I love you so damn much. If you weren’t so perfect, I wouldn’t be trying so hard. God, you’re my world.”

As his forehead drops to mine, the smell of vodka fills my nose as he breathes out and I thank God that, tonight, I get sad and sorry Kevin. Not hateful and raging.





I love my classroom. It’s my happy place. I’ve decorated the room this month in all Shakespearean things. There are quotes, photos, a fake dagger, a vial of water, and other items that I tried to get that would interest the boys. Then there are the kids who are wonderful, mostly because the teacher I replaced was a horrible woman. I don’t think she liked her job, the kids, the school, herself . . . it was bad. And so, I get to reap the benefits.

I’m at my desk going over the play we’re about to study when I hear a knock.

“Hello, Ellie, you look lovely today,” Mrs. Symonds, the principal, says as she stands at the door.

“Thank you. I’m excited about the new material we’re starting today.”

I also wanted to feel good. The last week has been calm, and I’ve needed calm. Kevin has been working extra hard because there’s been some kind of spike in something and he’s pleased with it, so home has been quiet.

Hadley hasn’t had any more falls, and her arm is doing well, and every bruise on my body has faded without any new ones appearing.

Not to mention my bank account grew a little more with my direct deposit today, which means I’m that much closer to being free.

There’s a reason to smile and feel lovely.

“What is it that you’re teaching today?”

“Romeo and Juliet,” I say with a smile. It’s one of my favorite pieces of literature. In some way, I think that all love is star-crossed. There’s a barrier that each human has to overcome in order to share their heart or at least their life with another person. As much as I love a good happily ever after, in life, that’s not always possible.

“Ahh, the great Shakespeare. I’ve always been more of a Bronte or Austen girl myself.”

I grin. “Me too, but this one is definitely fun to teach.”

“I agree.”

Mrs. Symonds is a wonderful principal. She’s fair, laughs with the kids, and has a firm hand. I also think she’s part witch or magician since she seems to have eyes everywhere. Nothing gets by her, and though the kids seem to think they’re getting away with something, it’s never the case.