By Virtue I Fall (Sins of the Fathers #3)(52)

“I can’t sleep,” she said. Her voice was calm and quiet.

I sat up, the covers bunching at my waist. “I can’t sleep either.” Silence settled between us. “Do you want to talk?”

Anna nodded and came in. She perched on the bed, and I lifted my covers, not even thinking about it. She looked like she needed to be consoled and I wanted to be the one to do it. I couldn’t fight it. I wanted to have her close even if I was pissed.

The briefest smile flitted across Anna’s face, not her usual provocative or challenging smile, it was a small sweet smile, one that made my pulse speed up in a way it had never done because of a woman before. She crept under the covers and sat beside me with her back against the headboard. Then she looked at me. She didn’t say anything, only looked at me. I almost leaned forward and kissed her again. Having her in my bed was bound to lead to more unfortunate events.

“You should have told me the truth and not pretended to be experienced.”

“Who says I’m not experienced?” she asked haughtily.

I turned on the lamp on the nightstand, wanting to see the expression on her face. “Cut the games, Anna. There was blood on my fingers.”

Her gaze moved away and the hint of a blush traveled up her throat. Anna rarely avoided eye contact. She always held my gaze no matter how furious I was. I admired that about her. She was tough and clever, cunning even, which had made me forget that she used to be a sensitive girl. She’d learned to hide that side of her over the years. I wasn’t quite innocent about that development.

She shrugged as if it was irrelevant. “I’ve never been with Clifford, or Maurice, or anyone. What happened between us last night was the most I’ve ever done. I’ve always wanted it to be you who kissed me, touched me…” She shrugged again. “And I got what I wanted.”

I became very still.

“Now you know,” she said.

“Damn it, Anna,” I growled, focusing on my anger. Anna’s admittance wreaked havoc with my insides. “You should have told me sooner.”

“It doesn’t change anything.”

“It changes things.”

“It doesn’t. Don’t make a big deal out of it. I’m not. I just want some fun, and I know sleeping with you will be fun.”

“It’s a big deal. And we didn’t sleep with each other and we won’t.”

Fuck, but I wanted to. I wanted to forget my duties and Anna’s, and only listen to my body. And my heart.

“What about fucking? That’s what you’ve called it until now.”

“If I take your virginity, I’m not doing it by fucking you. Every time that follows after will be fucking.”

Did I really just suggest I pop her cherry? I should ask Anna to leave my bed and try to return to an appropriate polite distance. But when had we last managed polite distance?

“There’ll be more than one time?” Anna asked, angling her body toward me. She smelled of Yasmine and… me. This realization sealed my fate. Possessiveness and desire flooded me.

“There won’t even be one,” I lied, even as my body sprang to life, as I imagined making her mine at least temporarily. No other woman had ever made me feel such a myriad of emotions, and in such intensity, no less. With Anna, life was a rollercoaster ride. With her, I didn’t miss my days as Enforcer, never felt boredom.

“You don’t sound convinced,” she said.

“Because I’m not,” I admitted.

“Well, you could still fuck the French-Wench again if you don’t like my performance.”

What the fuck was she talking about? “I don’t care about your performance and from what I witnessed a few hours ago, I’d say it’ll be outstanding, but let me make something clear, I didn’t fuck Veronique or anyone else since we arrived in Paris.”

“Why not?” Anna asked.

I narrowed my eyes. “Don’t play dumb, Anna. You’re way too clever to be convincing.”

“Why not?” she repeated more firmly this time.

“Because of you, fuck it. You are in my head and I can’t get you out. I want you like I’ve never wanted anything in my life before.”

“I like the sound of that,” she whispered, smiling slightly, and leaned closer. She peered up at me and my gaze lingered on her lips. On lips that had given me pleasure yesterday evening. Seeing her now, without makeup and smiling sweetly, I couldn’t imagine fucking her mouth, but I knew there was another Anna. I wanted them both. Good girl Anna, and naughty Anna.

“I want this. I want us, in this moment in time. Like I said, I’m not bound to stay a virgin.”

“I’m sure your parents would disagree on this.” As if it still mattered. What had already happened between Anna and me was enough to make Dante kill me. I doubted he’d differentiate between me fucking Anna’s mouth or her pussy. I was a dead man either way. I couldn’t resist anymore and ran my palm over her arm and back. Anna immediately pressed into me, one hand on my chest.

“We’re both adults. If we want to have fun, then that’s our business. Don’t play noble, Santino.”

“I’m not,” I said with a smirk. Did she really think anything about me was noble? After what had happened last night? “But we’re both not acting like responsible adults when we’re around each other. I need to pretend to play by the rules at least. You seem to lose any sense of self-preservation around me.”