Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy(41)

11.05 a.m. Just called Talitha to thank her.

‘You will tell Sergei?’ I said. ‘He seemed very anxious that I tell him straight away.’

‘Oh God. Yes, I’ll tell Sergei. Fuck knows what’s going on there. But, darling, I’m very proud of you for finishing.’





LET IT SNOW!


Thursday 17 January 2013

Texts about snow 12, tweets about snow 13, snowflakes 0.

8 p.m. Text from school.

<Dear Parents. Heavy snow is expected tomorrow. Please check your texts and do not start your journey before 8 a.m. We will text you if school is cancelled for a Snow Day.>

8.15 p.m. Plain excitement. We can all bunk off and go sledging! Clearly no one can go to sleep. We keep opening the curtains to check if you can see it in the street lamps.

8.30 p.m. Still no snow.

8.45 p.m. Still no snow. Look, is really time the children went to sleep now.

9 p.m. Eventually got them to sleep by saying, ‘Go to sleep, go to sleep, if you don’t go to sleep you won’t be allowed to ENJOY the lovely snow!’ repeatedly like parrot. Obvious lie, as who else am I going to go in the snow with?

9.45 p.m. Still no snow. Maybe will check Twitter.

9.46 p.m. @_Roxster is tweeting about the snow!

<@_Roxster Anyone else excited about the snow?>

9.50 p.m. <@JoneseyBJ @_Roxster Me. But where is it? ‘Oh, oh, look at me! I’m snow but I don’t exist!’>

10 p.m. Tweet from @_Roxster!

<@_Roxster @JoneseyBJ Jonesey, are you twunking again? Or do you like snow as much as me?>

10.15 p.m. Carried on flirting with @_Roxster.

<@JoneseyBJ @_Roxster Are you getting fartaged in preparation?>

<@_Roxster @JoneseyBJ Definitely.>

Talitha joined in. <@Talithaluckybitch @JoneseyBJ @_Roxster Very funny, you two. Now GO TO SLEEP.>

10.30 p.m. Mmmm. Love Twitter. Love feeling that there is someone else out there who cares about all the little exciting things you yourself get excited about.

11 p.m. Still no snow.

Friday 18 January 2013

Number of times checked for snow 12, snowflakes 0, tweets from @_Roxster 7, tweets pretending to be to all followers but actually to @_Roxster 6 (slightly less than him, v.g.)

7 a.m. Woke up and all rushed excitedly to the window. No snow.

7.15 a.m. Tempting to all stay in PJs for Snow Day, even if no snow, but forced self to force everyone, including self, to get dressed just in case School Snow Day text did not happen.

7.45 a.m. No text. Maybe tweet, though, from @_Roxster?

7.59 a.m. Still no school text. Still no tweet from @_Roxster. Trying to deal with own as well as everyone else’s disappointment, shoved three bacon-wrapped chipolatas in mouth, adding as an afterthought, ‘Anyone else want one?’

8 a.m. No text from school. We had better go.

9 a.m. Dropped off Mabel and got to Junior Branch to find infectious excitement, and Mr Wallaker organizing lines of boys crouching behind imaginary snow-walls and hurling imaginary snowballs at each other. Resisted temptation to tweet about scene to @_Roxster lest it put him off me that I have kids.

‘Snow today, Mrs Darcy!’ said Mr Wallaker, suddenly looming up beside us. ‘Going to be climbing trees?’

‘I know! I’ve been waiting for it all night,’ I said, smoothly ignoring the tree reference. ‘But where is it?’

‘On its way from the west! It’s snowing in Somerset. Do you enjoy snow?’

‘Punctual snow,’ I said darkly.

‘Maybe it’s been held up on the M4,’ he said. ‘It’s closed by snow at Junction 13.’

‘Oh!’ I said, brightening.

‘Wait,’ said Billy suspiciously. ‘How could snow be held up by snow?’

There was a slight twitch of amusement in Mr Wallaker’s eyes, then Billy’s face broke into a grin. It was really annoying, as if they were somehow sharing a joke at my expense.

‘Have a nice day!’ I said confusedly – we weren’t exactly in California – and slithered off through the ice to get on with my Twitter, I mean writing. Why did I put on high-heeled boots?

9.30 a.m. Back home. Right! The Leaves in His Hair.

9.35 a.m. Quickly tweeted @_Roxster, I mean my followers, Mr Wallaker’s joke.

9.45 a.m. <@JoneseyBJ Apparently the snow has been held up by snow on the M4 but will be here shortly.>

10 a.m. Five people have retweeted my tweet! Twelve more followers have come.

10.15 a.m. Keeps saying, ‘WARNING! SNOW!’ on the telly.

10.30 a.m. The snow has started!

11 a.m. Is just getting thicker and thicker. Can’t stop going up to window to look out at it.

11.45 a.m. Just keep staring at the miracle of the snow. Is like someone has beautifully drawn white shading on all the trees. Is an inch and a half thick on the table outside – like icing on a cake. Or cream . . . Maybe not an inch and a half. Consider going out with ruler to measure, then realize ridiculous. Must get on with myriad tasks.

Noon. OMG is tweet from @_Roxster.

<@_Roxster @JoneseyBJ Shall we bunk off work, get fartaged and go sledging??>

Blink at tweet in shock. Is @_Roxster actually asking me out? Does he mean it? But I’m looking completely crazed with hair standing up on end and . . . But I could wash my hair! And put on sledging things and you only live once and it’s snowing! Tweeted: <@JoneseyBJ @_Roxster Yes! Can you?>