Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits #4)(107)

Every time she moans, the vibrations bring me to the edge. I meant to clear her thoughts, but it’s me who can’t think straight. “I’m so fucking in love with you,” I groan, and she increases the pace, sucking me harder. If she keeps going, I’m going to come all over those pretty lips of hers, but it’s her pussy I want.

I pull out of her mouth and yank her to her feet, my hands wrapping around her waist as I lift her up against the wall. Alanna’s legs wrap around my hips, and I push her underwear aside roughly, sliding into her in one smooth motion.

“Fuck, Silas,” she moans, her head falling back.

I smirk as I tighten my grip on her hips, keeping her pressed against the wall as I thrust into her roughly, taking her hard and fast. “You’re so fucking wet, baby. Sucking my cock turned you on, huh? You really are my personal little slut, my own little psycho.”

She looks into my eyes, her gaze unfocused as she wraps her arms around my neck, her lips finding mine. She kisses me the same way she just took my cock, her tongue driving me fucking insane. The hold she has over me is unreal.

“This pussy is so good,” I murmur against her lips. “I can’t fucking take it.”

She moans and rotates her hips, ensuring I brush against her clit with every thrust, her own orgasm building.

“You want to come for me, don’t you, baby?”

She nods, her movements turning more frenzied. “Please,” she begs.

I smirk as I take her harder, giving it to her at the pace she needs to push her over the edge. My eyes fall closed when her pussy contracts, a strong orgasm washing over her and taking me right along with her.

The way her pussy squeezes my cock has me unable to resist. “Oh, fuck, Ray. Fuck,” I moan, emptying deep inside her.

Alanna tenses and pushes against my chest with considerable strength, and I pull away from her, disoriented. “Let me go,” she snaps, her eyes filled with agony that wasn’t there seconds before. Her eyes fill with tears, and she sniffs, turning her face away from me.

Fuck. I just called her Ray.

“Babe,” I murmur. “It’s just a nickname. It’s a nickname for you.”

“Please,” she begs, tears streaming down her face. The look in her eyes fucking guts me. What have I done? How could I have hurt her this way? “Please, just let go of me.”

I lower her to the floor gently and draw a shaky breath. How do I explain in a way she’ll understand? “I swear, Alanna,” I plead. “It’s just a nickname for you. You’re my ray of sunshine, Alanna. That’s all it is.”

She looks into my eyes, disappointment mixed with her pain. “Don’t,” she whispers. “Please don’t, Silas.”

She walks away, slamming our bedroom door closed with a loud bang, leaving me staring at the door, unsure what to do or say. Fuck.





Chapter Sixty-Nine





Alanna



I stare at my screen, my mind replaying the expression on Silas’s face when he moaned the name Ray while deep inside me. I grit my teeth as pain tears through my heart, leaving me feeling empty.

If that had been the first time I’d heard him say that name, I’d have believed his lies. I would have believed that it’s a nickname he gave me, and I’d be none the wiser.

Silas has no idea that he sometimes whispers Ray in his sleep. I’ve never said a word about it, part of me scared of being confronted with a love so great that it haunts his dreams. The way he’s always said her name made it clear he loves her. Who is she? It isn’t Raven, of that I’m sure. I’ve seen the two of them together, and though there’s affection between them, it isn’t love.

I bite down on my lip as I lean back in my seat. Ray of sunshine, he said. I tap my foot anxiously, the pieces slowly falling into place. Project Sunshine. It’s the firm’s most highly encrypted case file, and it appears to be the oldest one in the system. I glance over at Jessica, reluctant to ask her anything, yet unable to push aside my curiosity.

Our friendship is definitely over, but she hasn’t completely shut me out. She seems hurt and angry, but she doesn’t ignore me like many others do. “Jessica,” I murmur, my heart racing.

She looks up and raises her brows in question.

I hesitate and tap my pen on my desk, unsure whether I truly want to know or not. “Do you know what Project Sunshine is about?”

She tenses and glances around furtively before shaking her head. “Not many people know what it’s about, but it’s the first project the ψ division ever had, and it’s still ongoing, though not many people have clearance to access the files. I told you that there’s a rumor going around that the boss started this company because of a woman, right? I think Project Sunshine is about her. I’m not sure what that’s all about, but the general consensus is that it might be a murder case that’s remained unsolved.”

Her eyes widen as though she’s suddenly remembering my relationship with Silas, and she looks down. “But who knows, right? People always like to speculate. It probably isn’t about a woman at all, and if it is, it’s in the past.”

I nod at her and force my lips into a smile. If it truly was in the past, I wouldn’t be so anxious. I’m desperate to remember my past, so I can’t fault Silas for having one of his own. I’m just worried that Ray isn’t in the past. If he truly lost her, there’s every chance he’ll never get over her. She’ll always be the one who got away, the one he’ll compare everyone else to. I can’t compete with the ghost of a woman, one crafted from only the very best memories of them together.