Big Chicas Don't Cry(103)

“Erica, I—”

“Let me finish. That was why I applied, but it’s not why I took the job. I took the job because it’s time for me to move on. For the longest time, I was comfortable with settling for what was easy. It was why I stayed with Greg for so long. It was why I stayed at the News-Press. But when I went to interview, I realized something. I really wanted to work there. Even though I was afraid of what would happen if they turned me down or, especially, if they hired me. Either way, I realized how much I’d been missing out on by not trying for something better. And that’s the real reason why I quit.”

I was on the verge of tears, and I was so tired of letting him see me cry. Since when had I turned into Gracie?

He came closer. “I came back from Big Bear because Charlie texted me that you had quit. And it made me realize what a coward I’d been.”

My heart sped up, and I dug my nails into my palms to keep from hoping. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I love you, Erica.” He took another step toward me and reached out to cup my face. “I think I’ve been in love with you ever since you danced like a fool to no music at the Scoreboard. But I didn’t want to admit it. I told myself my feelings weren’t real, that I was confusing them with friendship. And then I screwed up by not making it clear to you that Isela and I weren’t back together. We’re not. Because even though I convinced myself I couldn’t have you, I still didn’t want anyone else.”

The tears were back, and I didn’t care anymore if he saw them. I still couldn’t quite believe what was happening. “You love me too?”

He nodded and leaned in. “Yes, you ridiculous woman. I love you so fucking much.”

I smiled, and in an instant his lips were on mine. Although I’d imagined it a thousand times, nothing could have prepared me for what it felt like to have Adrian Mendes kiss me. There was nothing timid or unsure about it. Like everything he did in life, there was a purpose. And that purpose was to make me forget the world existed.

When we finally stopped tasting and licking, he hugged me close, and I laid my head against his chest. “And to think this all started because I took a raspberry streusel bar from you,” I told him.

He chuckled. “That’s right. And come to think of it, you still owe me big-time for that.”

“What do you want then?”

Adrian squeezed me tight and then lifted my chin with one finger so he could look into my eyes. “All I want is you, Erica,” he whispered. Then he grinned. “Well, you and maybe some of your family’s tamales.”



Later that afternoon, my cousins and I gathered at the cemetery in front of Welita’s marble headstone. We held hands, said a Hail Mary, and then each laid a red rose at her grave. Then we did a group hug.

It had been a tough year. Maybe the toughest of our lives.

But I knew now that we could get through anything as long as we always remembered what she’d taught us—family is the most important thing in the world.

“Merry Christmas, Welita,” the four of us said in unison. “Que Dios te bendiga.”





Epilogue


GRACIE


“I’m here! I’m here! You can start now,” Selena yelled as she came crashing through the hospital room door.

“Did you hear that, baby? Your tía Selena says you can come now,” I spat out sarcastically, then immediately regretted it.

Dear God, I’m very sorry for . . . well, for everything that I’m going to say and think until this baby is out of me. Amen.

I had heard labor could bring out the worst in a woman, but I didn’t want sarcasm to be the first thing my baby girl heard from her mommy as she entered this world.

After all, that’s what she had her tía Erica for.

“Sorry, Selena. I didn’t mean it. I’m glad you’re . . . oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!” The pain tore through my pelvis like a blazing knife, and I felt like I was going to die. I screamed and cried until the contraction started to subside. Erica and Mari started rubbing my feet again in an effort to soothe some of my anguish. They were standing on either side of the hospital bed, getting ready to bend my legs all the way up to my ears as the nurse had instructed them to just before Selena arrived.

My sister threw down her tote bag and rushed to hold my hand. “There, there now. You’re okay, sweetie. Just squeeze my hand and concentrate on my face. Hey, I know what will make you feel better. After this is over, I say we splurge on In-N-Out. I’m starving! Nurse, she can eat a burger after having a baby, can’t she?”

The nurse raised her eyebrows and then shook her head. By the look on her face I could tell she was glad the hospital had a limit of only three people in the delivery room. She probably couldn’t handle having any more of my family in here for this.

They had been coming in all day. When they weren’t arguing with her about why I couldn’t eat a sandwich, they were sharing their own labor horror stories. Tía Espy and Tía Marta scared me so much that I asked for a second epidural just a few minutes after the first one just to make sure it wouldn’t wear off before the real pain began. Then my mom kept asking the nurse questions about every beep, buzz, and alarm coming from the monitors, and my abuela wanted to bring in Father Benedicto while my catheter was being inserted.