Beautiful World, Where Are You(77)

her, talking. As they passed, the man nodded and said: How’s life, Brady? Felix answered: Yeah, not bad, thanks. They went inside, pulling the door behind them. The garden was empty then except for Simon and Felix, standing on the grass together behind the garage. After a long silence, Simon dropped his gaze down to his feet and said: I don’t really know what happened. Felix gave a laugh at that. Okay, he said. I’ll fill you in. You went into her room after we got home, right? And then a bit later, you went back to your room, and today you’re both depressed. I don’t know anything more than that, so you tell me. You had sex with her, or what? Simon passed his hand down over his face, looking tired. Right, he said. No further remark followed, and Felix prompted: Not for the first time, I would guess. Simon gave a wan smile. No, he agreed.

Not quite. Felix put his hands in his pockets, watching Simon’s face. And then what? he said. You had a fight. Not that I could hear you, by the way. It must have been a quiet kind of fight if it was one. Simon was rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. It wasn’t, he said. We just talked. She said she’d prefer to stay friends. That’s all. We didn’t fight about it. With his eyebrows raised, Felix was staring. Fuck’s sake, he said.

She said that to you after you just had sex with her? What kind of behaviour is that?

Simon gave an awkward laugh, dropped his hand, looked away. Well, we all do things we shouldn’t do, he said. I think she’s just unhappy. Felix frowned at him for a second or two. There you go, he said. Trying to be like Jesus again. Simon gave another strained laugh. No, he answered, Jesus actually resisted temptation, as I recall. Smiling now, Felix reached to touch Simon’s hand, and Simon let him. Down the inside of his wrist, down toward his palm, Felix brushed the back of his fingers slowly. A few seconds passed in silence. Quietly Simon said: She’s a very dear friend of mine. Alice.

Felix started laughing then, and let go of his hand. That’s cute of you to say, he said.

What do you mean? Simon stood there looking calm, tired. I just mean, I’m extremely fond of her, he answered. I admire her. Felix gave another cough, shaking his head. You mean like, if I do anything bad to her you’ll kick my head in, he said. Simon was touching his own wrist then where Felix had touched it before, circling it in his hand as if it hurt. No, he said, I actually didn’t mean that at all. Felix gave a yawn, stretching his arms. You could, though, he said. Kick my head in. Easily. He straightened up and turned to look out at the garden. If she’s such a good friend of yours, he asked, how come you’ve never been to see her all this time she’s been living here? Surprised, Simon said he had been trying to arrange to come and see Alice since February, and that she had always told him she was away or that it didn’t suit. I also invited her to come and stay with me, he added. But she said she was busy. The impression I got was that she didn’t want to see me. I’m not saying that in an accusatory way, I thought maybe she just wanted a break. We had been seeing quite a lot of each other, you know, before she left Dublin. Felix was nodding to himself. When she was in hospital, was it? he asked. Simon looked at him for a time, and answered: Yes. Felix put his hands in his pockets and walked away for a moment, aimlessly, before returning to the wall, facing Simon. So all this time you’ve been on at her, saying you want to see her, and she’s been saying, no, I’m busy? he asked. Simon replied: Sure, but as I say, there’s nothing wrong with that. Felix grinned. It didn’t hurt your feelings? he said. Simon smiled back at him. No, no, he replied. I’m very grown-up about these things. Kicking the toe of his shoe against the wall, Felix asked: What was she like in hospital? In a bad way, was she? Simon seemed to think about the question, and then answered: She seems much better now. Felix wandered away again, far enough beyond the garage to look back at the house. Well, he said, if you see her in there, tell her I want to talk to her. Simon

nodded his head and for a few seconds said nothing, did nothing. Then he stood up straight and went back inside.

In the kitchen, Alice was standing with Danielle, eating a slice of cake from a paper plate. Raking over the sponge with her fork, she said: It didn’t really rise, but it tastes alright. Closing the door behind him, Simon said it looked delicious. Felix is outside, he added. I think he wants to talk to you. Danielle laughed. Oh my God, she said. Is he drunk already? He’s always being deep and meaningful when he’s drunk. Helping himself to a slice of cake, Simon said: No, I don’t think he’s drinking. But he was getting a little deep and meaningful with me just now. Alice put her plate on the countertop. That sounds ominous, she said. I’ll be back in a bit. When she was gone, Danielle asked Simon what he did for a living, and he started telling her about Leinster House, making her laugh. However bad you think it is, he said, it’s worse. Eileen was in the living room looking through the Spotify account connected to the speakers, a man over her shoulder saying: Real tunes, please. Outside, Alice closed the back door behind her and said into the empty garden: Felix? He looked out from behind the garage. Hey, he said. I’m down here. With her arms folded she came down onto the grass. On the wall he had spread out a cigarette paper and was taking a pinch of tobacco from a small plastic pouch. You know why they’re in a weird mood? he said. The other pair. They hooked up last night, and then she turned around and said she just wanted to be friends.

The drama in your house, it’s unreal. Alice was leaning against the wall, watching him roll the cigarette. Did Simon tell you that? she asked. He sealed the paper with the wet of his tongue and tapped it shut. Yeah, he said. Why, what did she tell you? Watching him light his cigarette, Alice answered: She just said it was a mistake. But she didn’t really go into details. I could see she was upset, I didn’t want to press her. Glancing