Beat of the Heart (Runaway Train, #2)(74)

“Ah, so she made the first move.”

He shrugged. “I let it happen—I let it screw up the best thing I ever had. You.” He exhaled a ragged breath. “But when it all comes down to it, what does it matter who started it?”

“I don’t know. It’s an easier pill to swallow thinking you weren’t out scoping chicks—that the new piece of ass just fell in your lap.”

Dev sighed. “Things were rough between us, Mia. You know that. After your grandmother died, you shut me out. You—”

My hand flew up to silence him. “Don’t you dare bring Mama Sofia’s death into this! Regardless of whether I was in a f*cking grief storm, you should have been there for me, standing by me and supporting me.” My voice wavered, and I grimaced at giving him those emotions. “That’s when I needed you most,” I whispered.

“I’m sorry.” He eased the bouquet of roses he still clutched onto the table. “What can I say, but that I was an immature prick who wanted all your attention? When you couldn’t give it to me, I pulled an utterly selfish and despicable move by cheating on you.” He took a tentative step closer to me. “Regardless of what happened, I never stopped loving you, Mia. Not one day went by when I didn’t regret what I did, how I hated myself for hurting you.” He drew in a ragged breath. “How I wished it was you I was making love to, not Erin.”

A shudder rippled through me at his words, and I despised myself for letting my firm resolve waver. I took a step back from him. “Don’t do this. Not now. It’s too f*cking late.”

“It’s never too late to right a wrong, is it?”

“You broke my heart, Dev!” I cried, my voice raising an octave, causing me to betray my emotions.

“Please,” he said in a half whisper.

“Please what?” I demanded.

“Please give me another chance.”

My mouth dropped open in disbelief. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do.”

I shook my head. “You only think you want me back. Erin left you a month ago, and you’re reeling about being all alone.”

“No, that’s not it. If it was just about being alone, I’d go out and find some new piece of ass.” He pinned me with his gaze. “But I’m here right now. Putting my heart out on the line, for you.”

“You got spooked about marriage and us before. You would do the same thing again.”

“Not with you. If you were gracious enough to give me a second chance, it would never, ever happen.”

I gave a mirthless laugh. “Yeah, well, how about this one? I’m pregnant.”

Dev’s serious expression turned over to shock. He blinked rapidly as he stared at me. His gaze fell on my abdomen, and for the first time, he noticed the bump beneath my baggier scrubs. “Um…wow.”

“Told you. You’re completely and totally spooked.”

“I won’t lie to you that I’m surprised. I mean, when we were together, you were never the maternal type.”

“That’s true, but people change.”

“Yes, they do,” he emphasized, and his meaning wasn’t lost on me. When I didn’t reply, he asked, “What about the father?”

I shifted my gaze to stare down at the floor. “We broke up before I found out I was pregnant.”

“And he doesn’t want to be in the baby’s life?”

“He doesn’t know yet…I don’t know if he’ll ever know,” I admitted.

“So, then I do have a chance with you,” he said softly.

I snapped my head up to glare at him. “Just because I have a kid on the way, doesn’t mean I’m weak enough to take you back. I don’t need the baby’s father, and I sure as hell don’t need you.”

“But couldn’t you want me?” Dev took another step closer to me. I tried ignoring how my body reacted to him being closer. Fucking pregnancy hormones! “I know you’re strong enough to do all this on your own, but you don’t have to. I’m here for you, Mia. I want you—with all my heart and soul.”

“No.”

“I’m not saying you should take me back today. Let me work hard for you—let me earn your trust back. Can’t you at least let me try?”

At his words, I remembered AJ hugged up to Kylie, the diamond ring on her hand glittering in the light. Pain raged through my chest, and for a moment, I fought to breathe. Through my own stubbornness, I had f*cked things up for us. There was no going back with AJ even if I wanted to. I would tell him about the baby eventually, and he would be its father. But he would never be my lover again…my boyfriend…my husband. He belonged to someone else now. And even though I knew I had loved him—that I loved him still—in the end, I’d only had two weeks with him.

I’d had three years with Dev.

Fate and destiny were two things Italians believed very strongly in. Maybe my destiny had just walked back into my life.

I took a step toward Dev. “If you think you’re just going to waltz back into my life and have me fall into your waiting arms, you’re f*cking crazy. You want me after everything you’ve done, then you’re going to crawl on hands and knees through broken glass to get me.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “And that’s without any promises of reconciliation.”