Beat of the Heart (Runaway Train, #2)(70)

“You mean am I going to keep it, give it up, or…?”

“Or have an abortion.” He cupped my chin, forcing me to look at him. “You know that you can do that, right?”

“I know I can, but…”

“But what?”

Unconsciously my hand went to rest against my abdomen. “I want this baby.”

“Da f*ck did you just say?” Dee asked incredulously.

Overwhelmed by my emotions, I merely bobbed my head. In a way, I was as stunned as Dee was by my admission. When I was younger, I always saw myself married with children. I knew that someday I would want a baby—I just never imagined it would be now.

Dee continued staring open-mouthed at me. “Mimi, you don’t know the first thing about raising a kid.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I snapped, realizing just how quickly pregnancy hormones could have you expressing psycho emotions.

Dee sighed. “Seriously, besides being around your cousins, you’ve never even acted like you cared for children that much.”

“But that doesn’t mean I can’t be a good mother.” At his skeptical expression, I countered, “Have I ever once said I didn’t want to have kids someday?”

“No, but—”

“I’m in a good place in my life to have a baby.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, he countered, “Unmarried and alone?”

I huffed out a frustrated breath. “I meant, I’m twenty-eight, not eighteen. I’ve been to college—I have my masters. I make good money. I can support this kid.”

“I’m not arguing with that, Mimi.”

“Then what?” I knew if I was going to do this baby thing, I wanted and needed Dee’s support.

Dee shrugged. “I dunno. It’s just hard for me to think of you with a kid.”

Staring down at my hands, I thought of the one person who believed I would be a good mother. “Mama Sofia saw me with children.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me a few months before she died that one day I’d be a family matriarch just like she was. That she prayed to the saints to bless me with a family.” My throat burned with the sobs I tried desperately to choke down. The agony of grief once again wrapped me in its death-like vise as the hard realization that the one person I needed more than anything right now was gone.

Dee reached over to cup my cheek. “Is that why you want this baby so much? Because you’re still so emotionally wrecked from Sofia’s death?”

“Thanks for making me sound like a selfish nut-job,” I hissed.

He groaned. “Jesus, if that test hadn’t told me you were pregnant, I’d know it from the crazy mood swings.”

“I’m sorry. Truly, I am. But for whatever reason, I know I want to have this baby, no matter how hard it’s going to be.”

Dee leaned back against the couch cushion, surmising my words. After what felt like a small eternity, he smiled. “Then, I’m happy for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

With a squeal, I dove over to wrap my arms around his neck. I squeezed him tight. “Thank you, Dee. You make me so, so happy.”

“Ease up, baby girl. I just said I was happy for you, not that I was gonna move in and help you raise the kid. Don’t even think about me changing shitty diapers.”

I laughed. “I don’t care about any of that.”

“Bullshit. You’ll change your tune and be expectin’ me to stay over nights or watch the kid during the day so you can get your beauty sleep.”

Raising my brows, I countered, “And you just might find yourself so in love with my little spawn that you want to spend all of your free time here.”

“Mmm, hmm, we’ll see about that.” But his lips did curve up in a smile like he was enjoying the thought of being around my baby.

“If it’s a boy, I think I’ll name if after you. Derwin Martinelli has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” I teased.

Dee shook his head. “You should be thinking about naming it after its father.” He shot me a pointed look. “And just what about Mr. AJ? Where does he fit into all this?”

The happy little bubble I’d built around myself deflated at the mention of him. Resting my elbows on my knees, I then cradled my head in my hands. “I don’t know.”

“He needs to know, Mimi.”

I peeked at Dee through my fingers. “I’m not sure after leaving him handcuffed to a shower that he’s going to be really glad to see me or want to hear the joyous news that he knocked me up.”

“You won’t know until you talk to him.” When I snorted contemptuously, Dee shook his head. “AJ was a lot of things, but a total uncaring bastard wasn’t one of them.”

Deep down, I knew he was right. AJ had too good a heart to ever be an * to me if I was pregnant with his child. My mind flashed back to that weekend at the farm—the way he had interacted with Jude and Melody. He was good with kids, and he would be a good father.

With a resigned sigh, I nodded. “Okay, okay, I’ll get in touch with him.”

“Good,” Dee replied.

“But only after I’m through the first trimester.”