Baby Come Back(31)
I scribbled a hasty note to my mother. I told her I was sorry; that I would pray for Angie, but that Nick had been a monster to me and that I had no desire to ever set eyes upon him again. I wrote that this was all she needed to know about our past, and that I would appreciate her never mentioning his name to me again. I told her I loved her and would call her in a couple of days.
I tore the pictures off of my mirror and ripped them into pieces, tossing them into the trash can. I took my note and placed it on my mother’s pillow. I heard the cab honking out front.
It was after three in the morning when I let myself into our apartment. I quietly made my way to our bedroom. The door was open. The dim light from the hallway allowed me to see Tristan asleep on the bed; his one arm was thrown up over his head on the pillow.
I discarded my clothing wanting nothing more than to climb up into bed next to him. I needed to feel him against me. He looked so gorgeous in the moonlight that filtered in through the blinds. I was totally naked as I lifted the sheet and crawled in next to him. He stirred in his sleep as I laid my head on his chest.
“Gina?”
“Yep.”
“You’re back already?”
“Yep.”
“But I thought the funeral was today.”
“It is. I didn’t want to go. I have my reasons.”
“Anything you want to talk about?”
“Not right now, but I will. Soon.”
“Tristan?”
“Yeah babe?”
“I love you.”
“Right back at you, Gina.”
CHAPTER 17
The following week after my return from Hoboken, I shared with Tristan all that had happened between Nick and me. He had comforted me when I got emotional during parts of it, pulling me close to him and stroking my hair. Afterwards he asked me if I had ever shared this with anyone else.
“You’re the first,” I said. “I guess part of me was ashamed to tell anyone. I mean, how pathetic was I to go back to him after I had been through it before?”
“Gina - you loved him. You trusted that he was sincere in getting help for his addiction. He probably was sincere - at the moment. I can see how what happened shaped you emotionally where men are concerned.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, a hint of defensiveness in my voice.
“Babe, don’t get pissed. Of course it had to affect you. It was horrific. I mean, you wouldn’t be human if it hadn’t. I think it explains why you have trust issues; why you find it difficult to emotionally connect at times; your fear of being vulnerable.”
“Well thank you for your diagnosis, Dr. Sinclair,” I replied, rolling my eyes. “If I doubted that I was damaged goods before, you have so eloquently reaffirmed it.”
“You are not damaged goods, Gina. If you really see yourself that way then perhaps you might consider therapy.”
“You are my therapy, Tristan,” I said, scooting onto his lap. “I want to say something to you about all that shit I brought up about Amber a few days ago.”
“I’m listening,” he said, lightly brushing a kiss across my lips.
“I trust you, Tristan. I have never caught you in a lie or any type of deception. As far as what Ian said; the whole bit with the birthmark - I just want to drop it. It isn’t important because I trust you and I know you haven’t been with her.”
“Are you sure, Gina? I have no issue confronting her with you present to untangle all of that shit.”
“I am sure, Tristan. She works with Trey. The last thing I need is to stir something up that causes her to go back whining to him. He’s your brother and I won’t be responsible for causing any rifts between the two of you, either.”
Tristan and I once again settled into a comfortable and stress-free existence. I kept in touch with my mom, though she did try and get more information from me regarding Nick, she soon learned that I had meant what I said. She didn’t bring it up after that.
Tylar hosted a baby shower for me the Saturday after the July 4th holiday. Susan and Clive were in from Bristol; Aunt Becky had come with them. My mom had sent her gift and promised she would be coming for a couple weeks after the baby was born. She had saved some vacation time from her job for the occasion.
Susan came over the following day and helped me get all of the tiny little sleepers, gowns and tee shirts laundered and put away. Tristan was still at the club. I had noticed his hours had expanded out a bit and had done my share of griping about it.
“Have you been feeling well, Gina?”
“Oh yes Susan, why?”
“You’ve been frowning a lot this weekend I’ve noticed.”
I had to smile. The woman was extremely perceptive.
“It’s just this last trimester gets a bit uncomfortable, so I guess I am easily irritated. Tristan has been spending longer hours at work and we kind of had this deal going when I cut my hours he would cut his hours, too.”
“Well, I’m sure it is a busy time what with mid-summer here and the tourists in town. Would you like a glass of iced tea?”
“Oh Susan! Where are my manners? I’m sorry. I should have offered you something to drink.”
“No worries, dear. Let’s take a break and I’ll get us each a glass of iced tea.”