Baby Come Back(29)

“So even before my girl came to live with me, I had started using coke to keep me ‘up’ - to keep me on my game. It worked for a while. I had promised myself once my Gina got there, it would stop. Well we all know how those types of promises go, I guess. It was not realistic. I was already hooked. Once Gina arrived, everything had been perfect. We worked together, lived together and loved each other. I hid my addiction from Gina, for a while. Once she found out, she was an angel. She didn’t want to lecture me; she didn’t give me ultimatums; but, she was not an enabler, either. She talked to me about it; we discussed options. I finally figured out that I had to get clean or lose her. I had reached a point where I was getting physically abusive to her. I hated myself for it but it was like I was someone else. I knew I was close to losing her. Nothing would have been worse than losing Gina. So I set about getting clean. I was almost there.”

He had stopped then. Tears were flooding down his cheeks. He needed a minute to compose himself.

“There was a night that Gina worked a double at the casino. One of her friends had called off sick. I told her she didn’t need to do it, but if she wanted to, I would pick her up after her shift. She said she wanted to work the shift. We had been trying to save money. The friend of hers that asked her to work ended up coming over to our apartment. Short story: we got high and ended up in the sack. Gina found us. I was a total ass to her. I am too ashamed to tell you people the horrible details.

Nick had stopped for a moment, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

“Needless to say, Gina left me and she had good reason to do so. I knew immediately I needed help. I went into rehab the next day. Here I am. I have been clean for seven weeks and two days. I thank God for helping me to get clean. Thanks for listening.”

There was a round of applause as Nick had taken his seat and the next addict had gotten up to tell her story. I had hurriedly slipped out of my seat and left the church before Nick had seen that I had been there. I had needed time to process what I had heard him say to the group.

In the following two weeks I had attended all of Nick’s meetings and by this time, he had known I was there. We had re-opened our lines of communication. Both set of parents had been ecstatic over that. By the end of my first term of college, I had transferred my credits to a junior college in Atlantic City and had moved back in with Nick.

Things were ideal for several months. I had attended college and worked a part-time job as a cashier at a drug store; Nick had found a job as a pit boss at another casino. We had found a different apartment; it was a beautiful townhouse. I had told Nick I couldn’t stomach going back to the one with all of the horrible memories. He had understood. Nick had continued to attend at least one weekly meeting at NA; I had gone with him as much as possible.

As Valentine’s Day had approached that year, Nick managed to get a night off. He had planned a very special evening for us. He had taken me to a very expensive restaurant for dinner. Nick had turned twenty-one by this time, so he had champagne brought to our table. We had sipped champagne, dined on oysters and fresh lobster. For dessert, Nick had ordered Cherries Jubilee. It had been perfect.

Later, back at our apartment, Nick had spread rose petals across our bed. There was a card and a wrapped box on the bed.

“Open it,” he had instructed me, softly.

The card had been very romantic; he had told me how much he loved and cherished me; how we would be together forever. The box had contained a beautiful, red silk nightgown. It was floor length with spaghetti straps; very classy. He had purchased it from one of the upscale shops downtown.

I had changed into the gown, while Nick had lit candles around our bed. We had made love very slowly, very sensually. Nick had not been rough with me on this occasion. It had been the first time that I had experienced an orgasm. It had taken both of us by surprise. Afterward, I had wrapped myself around Nick as if I couldn’t’ get enough of him. I had finally felt some sort of a connection with him on a very intimate level.

“I love you, Nick,” I had whispered to him.

“I love you back, Gina.”





CHAPTER 16




“Gina Marie, you’ve barely touched your dinner. You need to eat to have a strong and healthy bambino.”

“Sorry, Mom. I’m just not that hungry this evening.”

I got up and started to help her clear the table. Amie was loading the dishwasher in the kitchen.

“Gina, are you not feeling well?” My mother was looking at me with concern evident on her face. This was a perfect opportunity to get out of going to the wake.

“You know, Mom. I guess I’m not feeling very well. I haven’t been sleeping well at night. I’ve been just a little crampy all day,” I lied.

“Heavenly Father,” she said, making the sign of the cross on herself. “You get yourself into bed now, Gina. We don’t need a repeat of what happened before.”

“But Mom, the wake--”

“Gina Marie, you have your orders. Angie will understand. If you’re feeling better tomorrow, you can go to the funeral. I won’t argue about it, Gina.”

“Okay, okay, I’m going Mom.”

I climbed the stairs to my room. I was thankful I didn’t have to face Nicholas Camerucci; at least not today. I changed into my nightgown and climbed under the covers of my bed; the bed that had been my safety haven while growing up.