Anxious People(41)
“What?” Ro asked.
“Life,” the bank robber sniffed.
Zara took her phone out of her pocket and said: “Okay, let’s call the police and get this sorted out.”
“No! Don’t!” the bank robber said.
Zara rolled her eyes.
“What are you scared of? Do you honestly think they don’t know you’re here? You have to call them and tell them how much ransom you want, at least.”
“You can’t call, there’s no signal in here,” Ro said.
“Are we in prison already?” Zara wondered, shaking her phone as if that might help.
Ro stuck her hands in her pockets and said, half to herself: “It’s actually not that bad, because I’ve read that children who grow up not staring at screens are more intelligent. Technology stunts the development of the brain.”
Zara nodded sarcastically.
“Really? Tell me about all the Nobel Prize winners who grew up in Amish communities.”
“I’ve actually read that there’s research that says mobile signals cause cancer,” Ro persisted.
“Yes, but what if it’s an emergency? What if you move in here and your baby chokes on a peanut and dies because you can’t call an ambulance?” Zara said.
“What are you talking about? Where would the baby get the peanut from in the first place?”
“Maybe someone put some through the mail slot during the night.”
“Are you really this sick?”
“I’m not the one who wants my baby to choke to death…”
They were interrupted by Julia, who was suddenly standing beside them again.
“What are you arguing about now?”
“She started it! I was trying to be friendly, and that’s not the same as me not wanting to eat fish sticks!” Ro snapped defensively, pointing at Zara.
Julia groaned, and looked apologetically at Zara.
“Did Ro tell you about the sea life center? And dolphins aren’t even fish.”
“What’s that got to do with anything? Anyway, weren’t you going to the toilet?”
“It was occupied,” Julia said, shrugging.
The bank robber pulled at the ski mask with one hand, then counted the people in the room. Then stammered: “Hang on… what do you mean, occupied?”
“Occupied!” Julia repeated, as if that were going to help.
The bank robber went and tugged at the bathroom door. It was locked.
And that was how this turned into a story about a rabbit.
33
Witness Interview (Continued)
ESTELLE: I’d like to make it clear that I’m sure Stockholm is perfectly pleasant. If you like Stockholmers. And I can tell you right now that I don’t think Knut has any prejudices, either, because once when we were younger I was tidying his office and I found an entire magazine all about Stockholm.
JIM: Great.
ESTELLE: I didn’t think so at the time. We actually had quite a row about it, Knut and I.
JIM: I see. So, you were talking to Ro and Julia when the bank robber came in?
ESTELLE: They keep birds. And they argued all the time. But in a cute way. Of course, the other couple were arguing, too, Roger and Anna-Lena, but that was nowhere near as cute.
JIM: What were Roger and Anna-Lena arguing about?
ESTELLE: The rabbit.
JIM: What rabbit?
ESTELLE: Oh, it’s quite a long story, if I’m honest. They were arguing about the cost of the apartment, per square foot, you see. Roger was worried that everyone was pushing the price up. He said the housing market was being manipulated by bastard real estate agents and bastard bankers and Stockholmers.
JIM: Hold on, was he saying that homosexuals were manipulating the housing market?
ESTELLE: Homosexuals? Why would they be doing that? That’s a terrible thing to say! Who’d say a thing like that?
JIM: You said Stockholmers were doing it.
ESTELLE: Yes, but I meant Stockholmers. Not “Stockholmers.”
JIM: Is there a difference?
ESTELLE: Yes. One’s Stockholmers, and the other’s “Stockholmers.”
JIM: Sorry, but I’m confused now. Let me try to write this down in chronological order.
ESTELLE: Take your time, as much time as you need. I’m not in a hurry.
JIM: I’m sorry, but I think perhaps it would be best if we went back to the first question?
ESTELLE: Which one was that?
JIM: Did you notice anything particular about the other prospective buyers?
ESTELLE: Zara looked sad. And Anna-Lena didn’t like the green curtains. And Ro was worried the closet wouldn’t be big enough. But it’s one of those walk-in closets, as they’re called these days. I didn’t know that until I heard Jules call it that.
JIM: No, hold on, that can’t be right. There’s no walk-in closet on the plans.
ESTELLE: Maybe it looks smaller on there?
JIM: The plan must be to scale, though, surely?
ESTELLE: Oh, must it?
JIM: On the plans, the closet isn’t even two square feet in size. Can I ask how big this walk-in closet is?
ESTELLE: I’m not very good at measurements. But Ro said she wanted to use it as a hobby room. She makes her own cheese, you know. And grows flowers. Well, some sort of plants, anyway. Jules isn’t very happy about that. Once Ro tried to make her own champagne and made a mess of Jules’s underwear drawer. Ro said that caused “a hell of a fight.”