A Suitable Vengeance (Inspector Lynley, #4)(59)

“There’s more than using going on and you know it. You’re in over your head.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

The disingenuous question rubbed Lynley raw. “You’re bringing it onto the estate. That’s what it means. You’re cutting it in the mill. That’s what it means. You’re taking it to London. To use. To sell. Have I painted the picture well enough for you? God in heaven, Peter, if Mother knew, it would kill her.”

“And wouldn’t that be convenient for you? No more worrying about whether she’s going to disgrace you by running off with Roderick. No more wondering how much time he’s been spending in her bed. If she’d only have the good grace to drop dead because of me, you might even celebrate by bringing Father’s photographs back. But that’d be a tough one, wouldn’t it, Tommy? Because you’d have to stop acting like such a bleeding little prig and how on earth could you ever manage it?”

“Don’t try to avoid the issue by bringing up all that.”

“Oh, no! Avoidance. What a heinous crime! Another sin I’ve committed. Another black mark on my soul.” Peter took the university picture from the wall, tossing it in his brother’s direction. It landed with a clatter against the legs of a chair. “You’re completely unsullied, aren’t you, Tommy? Why can’t I just follow your faultless example?”

“I don’t want a row with you, Peter.”

“It’s delicious. Drugs, adultery, and fornication. All in one family. Who knows what else we’d have to work with if only Judy were here as well. But then, she’s dabbled a bit in adultery herself, hasn’t she, Tommy? Like mother, like daughter. That’s what I say. And what about you? Too noble to have it off with some bloke’s wife if she strikes your fancy? Too moral? Too ethical? I can’t believe that.”

“This is getting us nowhere.”

“What a blight we must be to you. Living hand in glove with the seven deadly sins and enjoying every one of them. Where do we do the worse damage? To your bloody title or your precious career?”

“You’d say anything if you believed it had the power to hurt me, wouldn’t you?”

Peter laughed, but he was gripping the back of an armchair tightly. “To hurt you? Is that what you actually think? I can’t believe it. As far as I know, the world still revolves round the sun, not you. Or hadn’t you noticed? There are actually people who lead their lives without the slightest worry about how their behaviour affects the Eighth Earl of Asherton, and I’m one of them, Tommy. I don’t dance to your tune. I never have. I never will.” His features contorted with an angry bitterness. “What I really love about this whole sodding conversation is the implication that you care about anything beyond yourself. About Howenstow. About Mother. About me. What difference would it make to you if this place burned to the ground? What difference would it make if both of us died in the flames? You’d be free of us then. You’d never have to worry about playing the role. Dutiful son. Loving brother. You make me sick.” Peter fumbled in his pocket, bringing out a packet of cigarettes. But his hands were shaking so badly that he dropped them to the floor where they spilled out onto the carpet.

“Peter,” Lynley said. “Peter, let me help you. You can’t go on this way. You know that. You must.”

“And if I die, what of it? Then you’ll only have Mother and Roderick to contend with. She’s invited him tonight, you know. What an insult to the earl! I think she’s actually decided to declare independence.”

“They don’t matter. You know that. Let me help you. Please.”

“Help? You?” Peter bent and retrieved his cigarettes. It took him four tries with a match before he was able to light one. “You’d sully your pretty reputation to salvage mine? What a laugh that is! What’s it to you what happens to me, as long as your own name stays pure?”

“You’re my brother.”

Peter drew in on his cigarette deeply before mashing it out in an ashtray. “To hell with your brotherhood.” He started for the door.

Lynley grabbed his arm as he passed. “That’s easy for you, isn’t it? To hell with brotherhood. To hell with everyone. Because a commitment to people takes you away from dope. And you can’t bear that.”

“You talk to me of commitments? You filthy hypocrite. When did you ever commit to anyone besides yourself?”

Lynley refused to be sidetracked. “Seeing the mill was a revelation today. You ought to be proud of what you’ve become.”

“A smuggler! A dealer! An addict! What a nice little footnote in the family history. What a blackguard! What a fiend!” Peter’s voice spiralled. He pulled himself from his brother’s grasp. “So have me arrested. Or better yet, arrest me yourself. Haul me into the Met. Turning in your own brother should make your career. Here.” He extended his hands, wrists together. “Shackle me up. Take me away tonight and have your promotion tomorrow.”

Lynley watched the play of emotion on his brother’s face. He tried to tell himself that this confrontation had its roots in Peter’s addiction. But he knew quite well that his own past behaviour, his obstinate pride, and his need to punish had led inevitably to this ugly outburst. Still, he struggled against the desire to lash out in return.