A Lie for a Lie (All In, #1)(56)

I listen to the message three more times before I finally call him back.

It doesn’t even finish ringing once. “Hey.”

“Hi.” I chew on the inside of my lip, trying to summon some courage.

“Did you get my message? And all the stuff I sent?”

“I did. Thank you. Um . . . I was wondering if you want to come over? I have all this food and these boxes to open . . . maybe we could have dinner?”

“I’d love that, but I don’t want you to feel obligated to invite me over. I sent all that stuff because I want to help however I can, and I figured this was a good start,” he says softly, sounding hopeful.

“It was. It is a good start, I mean. And I don’t feel obligated. Not really. Not in the way I think you’re thinking.”

“I can be there in less than half an hour.”

“Okay. Great.”

I realize I’m still in my stupid uniform, and I likely smell fishy. I take Kody with me into the bathroom and sing to him while I shower away the eau de aquarium.

I decide to go with leggings and a long, loose shirt. I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard, but I also don’t want to look like I’m not trying at all. I’m back to my prepregnancy weight, but my boobs are twice as big because I’m breastfeeding, and my stomach is a little less toned thanks to how big Kody got while he was in there. I have a few stretch marks left behind as an extra reminder that I’m a giver of life, and I don’t mind them one bit.

I brush out my hair, braid it while it’s still wet, and finish up by applying a little concealer under my eyes to manage the dark circles. I exhale a long breath as I stand in front of the bathroom mirror and inspect my reflection. This isn’t a date, but in a lot of ways it feels like one.

My stomach growls, reminding me that I haven’t eaten since lunch, at the same time as my buzzer goes off. Kody lets out an aggravated wail, and I pluck him from his activity center, rushing down the hall to buzz RJ in.

I wait by the door, bouncing Kody on my hip while I listen for the elevator. I usher him in quickly, feeling a pang of guilt as I glance at Walter’s door.

I need to find out what exactly RJ wants out of this. I don’t want to open my heart back up to him just to have it broken all over again. It was one thing when we were both single and looking to enjoy each other’s company, but now my life is completely different. And so is his.

I close the door in time to see Walter’s start to open. I lock it and slide the chain latch home. Kody gives me another annoyed squawk and rubs his eyes. “Is someone getting tired?” I coo and kiss his cheek.

RJ holds up a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of wine, and a little gift bag and gives me a chagrined smile as he glances around my apartment. Since he appeared at the aquarium, he’s been sending me flowers regularly, so there’s a bouquet on almost every available surface. It’s a good thing most of them came in their own vases, since I only had one of my own.

I glance pointedly at the stack of boxes still sitting just inside the door. “As if all of this wasn’t enough?”

“I didn’t want to come over empty handed.” He rocks back on his heels and smiles, making that little dimple that matches Kody’s pop.

Kody wails again, head bumping against my collarbone as he pats my boob and grabs on to my shirt. “I think I’m going to have to feed him again before I do anything else. This is his witching hour. He’s tired, but he’s hungry.”

“What can I do to help? Can I feed him?”

“I’ve got the feeding part covered.” I motion to my boobs.

“Oh, right.” RJ’s gaze drops and his eyes flare, cheeks flushing. “Should I start on dinner, then?”

“Sure. It’s on the counter. Let me show you where the pots are. I was thinking the pasta puttanesca would be nice.”

He follows me to the kitchen, and I show him where the pots and pans are. I check the recipe—the meals come with directions—and then I leave him to get started while I settle in the chair in the living room to feed Kody.

He latches on quickly, always extra hungry in the evenings, like he’s been waiting all day for my boob because a bottle just isn’t the same. I smooth out his dark, thick hair, trying to settle the cowlick, which keeps curling back up.

“Hey, Lainey, can I get you something to—oh shit, sorry!”

I look up to find RJ standing in the middle of the living room, eyes comically wide and focused on where Kody is latched on to my breast, one hand splayed protectively over the swell.

“I, uh . . . I wanted to see if I could get you something to drink, but you’re booby, I mean busy. I mean—sorry.” RJ blinks a bunch of times and averts his gaze, but he doesn’t seem to be able to help the way his eyes keep darting back to me and my exposed breast.

“Water would be nice, actually.”

“Okay. I can get you that. I’ll be right back.” He returns a minute later, setting the glass on the table beside me while trying to keep his eyes anywhere but me and failing completely.

I touch the back of his hand. “There’s a privacy blanket over there, if it would make you more comfortable.”

He looks at me and then down again and back up. “What?”

“I can cover up if it makes you uncomfortable. For now, anyway,” I amend.