A Ladder to the Sky(51)

‘Actually, no,’ he said, interrupting me.

‘No?’

‘No, he’s living with my two boys so of course I’d prefer if he was a good guy. I’ve met him myself, you know. I wanted to hate him but couldn’t. Rebecca will grow bored of him in time, though.’

‘I think so too,’ I said. ‘Look, do you want me to be honest? Arjan is … well, he’s fit, isn’t he? And young. But he’s too nice. Either she’ll get tired of him or he’ll get sick of her bullying and walk away. I suspect that beneath the kind fa?ade there’s a strong backbone, and anyone who gets caught up with my sister would need one of those.’

‘You don’t think that I have a backbone?’

‘That’s not what I said.’

‘It’s what you implied.’

I put my glass down and reached out to take his hand. As I did so, I noticed my angry Polish student Maja glancing over at me. She knew that Robert wasn’t my husband, of course, and perhaps she was wondering why I was touching him.

‘I’m not your enemy, Robert,’ I said quietly.

‘No, I know. I’m sorry.’

‘So look, why don’t you tell me why you came to see me?’

‘To ask a favour.’

‘All right.’

‘I want you to talk to Rebecca for me.’

I closed my eyes for a moment. I’d hoped that wasn’t what he was going to say. ‘Do I have to?’ I asked.

‘I need you to. She won’t take my calls any more.’

‘Well, what do you want me to say to her?’

‘You could start by asking her why she won’t take my calls any more.’

‘And after that?’

‘I hadn’t thought that far ahead.’

‘Oh great,’ I said. ‘Thanks.’

‘I think we need an intermediary of some sort.’

‘Perhaps. But do you really think I’m the best person for the job? She hates me.’

‘She doesn’t hate you.’

‘Oh, come on.’

‘She may not be your biggest fan, but—’

‘She told me that she thought my novel was shit. I believe her actual phrase was a work of blush-making vulgarity. The words are emblazoned on my memory.’

‘She’s jealous of your success, that’s all.’

‘Good, I’m glad.’

‘You should take it as a compliment.’

‘Well, I don’t.’

‘Edith, please. She won’t let me see the boys.’

‘Well, that’s not fair,’ I admitted. ‘But shouldn’t you just speak to a solicitor? Wouldn’t that be easier? Find out what your rights are?’

‘I don’t want to go down that road just yet,’ he said. ‘The moment we start getting legal is the moment that things get completely out of hand. I want to appeal to her better nature.’

‘Ah, you see, that’s where you’re making your mistake.’

‘I just think if someone could tell her how important it is to me to be a good father, how important it is for me to be a positive influence on the boys, then she might behave a bit more—’

‘Like a human being?’

‘Yes, I suppose so.’

I sighed. It was obvious that Rebecca was treating Robert appallingly. I was going to say as much but that’s when the door to the grad bar opened and you walked in.

You glanced around, your gaze settling on the students, and you scanned the group, expecting to see me among their number. Only when you looked around the rest of the room did you notice the two of us together and you raised an eyebrow in surprise before walking over.

‘Robert,’ you said, throwing an arm around him. ‘This is a surprise.’

‘Yes, I called in on Edith’s class unexpectedly. Things have been a bit rotten at home, as you know. I thought I could do with a little advice.’

You nodded and asked what we were drinking before making your way to the bar. I could sense in the way you carried yourself that you weren’t happy, and I immediately felt uncomfortable, unable now to concentrate on what Robert was saying. I looked in your direction but you had your back to me. Our eyes met in the mirror behind the bar, however, and there was something in your expression that made me feel guilty, as if I’d let you down in some way.

I wasn’t quite sure what I’d done wrong but I knew that, whatever it was, you would hold it against me for a while yet.





3. November


It wasn’t my idea to invite you to talk to the students and, if I’m honest, I assumed that you’d refuse anyway. No, this particular notion had been dreamed up by Maja, who approached me after class one day, claiming not only to be a great fan of Two Germans but even more of The Treehouse, which I thought a peculiar statement. I promised to put it to you but warned her that you were unlikely to say yes. To my surprise, however, you agreed immediately.

A date was set and I spent that morning reading the stories that had been submitted for workshop later in the week and feeling a strange anxiety at the pit of my stomach that I found hard to understand. You came to my office around three thirty, the first time you’d been there, and spent your time examining the books that had been left behind on the shelves by the writer whose maternity leave I was covering. You took a few out and made disparaging comments about their authors.