Witches for Hire (Odd Jobs #1)(84)

“Ugh.” With a cloth covering her gloved hand, Edarra grabbed for the client’s ass. At first her hand closed on something soft, but the tips of her fingers touched a hard object. She used her other hand to snatch on to it.

“Hey, hey, it’s moving!” the client screamed.

“You better have the enclosure ready.” If Jeremy didn’t and she had to glop onto the disgusting creature a second longer than she had to, it was going up his ass next.

Jeremy nodded.

“Okay.” She looked at the client. “Calm down and breathe slowly.”

“Oh-oh shit,” Pete whispered.

It’s a good thing this is an interdimensional being, or his butt would look like a xenomorph tore out of it. Edarra stepped back in a burst of speed she hadn’t used outside of Simone’s witch gym. The blanket jerked as the small goblin was enveloped. It screeched for its freedom, but Edarra calmly slammed the goblin against the tile floor. “Please stop, or I will break you.”

The goblin growled, but it stopped struggling.

“I’ll take that.” Jeremy held up a round glass globe with its lid on the floor, and Edarra slowly lowered the goblin inside. Jeremy locked the lid in place, chanting under his breath while orange light consumed the globe.

When the glow turned black, there was a small beep like what Edarra would hear when she left a phone message, and then the light disappeared, leaving a pearl sheen in its wake. Edarra looked at the client draped over his knees in unconsciousness. “At least we’ve already been paid.” She frowned at her arms, where she hadn’t been able to avoid smears of shit. “What kind of world has ass goblins?”

“The kind where witches perform magic above their expertise,” Jeremy said.

“Do we report this?” If the goblin fully entered their world, it didn’t seem like the sort of easygoing creature that would spread rainbows and love.

Jeremy made a sound between a tsk and a cough. “Their blunder was unintentional enough that I doubt they could replicate another portal. Besides, we’d be wasting easy money. These idiots are bound to muck up another spell and call us again.”

Edarra sighed as she looked at the spa tub and fancy sink that she doubted could hold more than a cup of water. “So they called us over Mia and Raj because we’re less likely to alert the Council?”

“Probably.”

“Does that kind of make us shady?” she asked while squirting hand soap up and down her arms.

“Just cheaper and less trouble,” Jeremy said. “Having no affiliation to any big player means we’re more likely to get the really desperate.”

“In other words, don’t look a gift horse of people needing saving in the mouth.”

“Yep.”

For a low-magic world, Earth Realm had its own complications. Not too good or evil, but a lot of gray. Edarra had lived in one extreme, but she wasn’t used to the middle ground yet.

Jeremy passed her a towel when she finally felt clean again. “On to the next job.”




THE DOOR opened, and Edarra blinked at the teen boy with black eyeliner and a headband keeping back his bangs. His eyes were red, and despite the dark makeup, he looked fragile.

“Are you Witches for Hire?” the boy asked.

“Yep,” Jeremy answered. “You the kid, Eric, with the sick cat?”

The teen turned pleading eyes on both of them. “Can you help her?”

Eric’s love for the sick pet motivated Edarra a hell of a lot more than the spoiled brats they had left behind with a sharp warning. But if she screwed this job up, she was gonna feel awful. Cats were adorable, and this kid was a sweetie. Edarra followed Jeremy inside the small house.

“She’s in here,” Eric said as he led them to the front window where a tree with a few straggly lights shone. A black-and-white cat lay on the floor next to the tree. Her eyes opened, but she made no effort to look at the guests. “Kerry’s been worse today, but she’s been sick for a week.”

Jeremy leaned down and gently stroked Kerry’s head.” He pulled back suddenly. “Shit!” He looked up Edarra. “Get Clive on the phone.” Next, he pointed at the boy. “You get out of here, and we’ll handle this.”

“I’m not leaving her alone,” Eric said firmly.

“Bloody hell. Fine.” Jeremy bit his thumb and blood glistened on its tip. He placed the digit over the cat’s mouth and whispered, his blue eyes glowing. The cat raised its head to lick it, at first with the tiniest strokes, and then long ones as it rolled onto its feet with renewed vigor. Jeremy handed the cat to the client, who laughed as Kerry bumped her head against his palm.

“What did you do?”

“Out!” Jeremy shoved the client at Edarra.

He gave it his energy, Edarra thought. If it’s been drained to this extent…. Edarra grabbed the boy’s free arm and dragged him outside. Whatever stole the energy was probably an item inside the house. She looked closely at Eric, whose eyes weren’t just dark from eyeliner. And it’s not only the cat that’s been affected.

“What’s going on?” Eric asked her.

“Your family might have picked up something bad recently.” Edarra pulled out her phone and called Clive.

“Are you finished?” Clive asked as soon as he picked up.