Witches for Hire (Odd Jobs #1)(82)

BOMBASTIC MUSIC blared as the credits rolled, and Simone’s kids sang along with the music despite the lack of lyrics. Jeremy smiled. Watching the original Star Wars trilogy in a marathon never grew old.

“Everyone in pajamas!” Simone shouted. Her boys protested loudly, but not even Rudy could suppress his yawn.

Jeremy rubbed his hands together maniacally. “Enjoy your bedtime while I get more cake!” It was bad enough that Simone and Rudy were the poster couple for how soul mates meeting usually sparked a whirlwind of lust that led to domestic bliss, but creating the three most adorable children in the world meant he had to torment them. The boys were rambunctious but helpful with whatever their parents needed in playing hosts, and were the annoyingly cute combination of their parents that made people ooh and aah over Simone’s dark eyes and Rudy’s stub nose.

As the kids gained a much more energetic boost to their complaints, Simone looked ready to dump the popcorn remnants on his head. “You are such a dick,” she whispered out the corner of her mouth. “I see pajamas in the next five minutes, and you get a second small piece of—” Three sets of feet pounded up the stairs before she finished. Simone pointed at Jeremy. “Fix you a plate and get out, asshole.”

“Aww, I thought we were bonding.” Upon inspection of the Machado family’s DVD shelves, Jeremy deduced Rudy was the one responsible for the black-and-white sci-fi movies and naming their middle child Jules. The werewolf genre wedged next to teen slashers reeked of Simone’s warped sense of humor. He had been on his best behavior like a good little witch, handed over his wand at the door, and didn’t even pretend to conduct magic because he wanted the same respect returned if Simone came to his home. Jeremy pointed at the swear jar on the living room cabinet that was already a quarter full. “You need to put in two dollars.” All because she thought he’d cursed too much that one time she brought her kids to work at the job back in Kennesaw.

Simone took the amount out of her wallet and dropped it in the jar. “Don’t act like you’re not responsible for the rest of it.”

Rudy rose off the sofa with his bottle of hard root beer. “We should invite you more often, Jeremy. If you come every weekend, we can pay for all three boys’ college tuition.”

“I don’t curse that much,” Jeremy muttered. A soft sniffling caught his attention, and he followed the sound to where Clive hadn’t moved on the couch. He frowned. “Are you all right?”

Clive rubbed his eyes dry. “Yeah. It was unexpected to be reminded of home.”

Simone’s eyebrows shot up. “You have spaceships?”

“No, but those Ewoks are similar to our battle bears. Ours are three times as big, but they also joined us humans to defeat a great evil.” Clive looked up at them, his eyes still sparkling with tears. “Is this George Lucas originally from your world?”

Jeremy tilted his head to the side. “Yessss… I… think.” He glanced at Simone, who shrugged.

“Battle bears sound like worthy opponents,” Edarra said through a mouthful of cake. “I would love to fight one.”

“I have need of your restroom,” Clive said as he headed upstairs.

Jeremy walked to the swear jar where Simone was still standing and removed a five-dollar bill from his pocket. “Is he fucking with us?”

Simone shook her head. “His eyes were really red from crying. I didn’t mean to make him sad.”

“I kind of want to show him more films to see what other weird shit he has in his world.”

“Wow, you’re an asshole.” Simone put another dollar in the jar. Loud stomping returned, and she rolled her eyes. “The power of sugar.”

“Dammit, I have two dollars to use.”

“Too fucking bad, ya little shit. There you go. Two down.”

“What?”

“I provided entertainment and pizza. You can fork over money for my potty mouth.”

“Hypocrite!”

Simone pointed at the kitchen and said to her boys, “Then it’s teeth and bed.”

Rudy followed the kids into the kitchen but stuck out his head. “I suggest you all get some before I do,” he warned.

“He will finish it,” Simone said.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Jeremy followed the male members of Simone’s family into the kitchen and proceeded to bogart his way in front of the boys. “I technically paid for this,” he said while slicing off a large chunk of cake.

“Never invite him again,” Simone’s eldest boy, Elijah, whispered to Rudy.

Rudy wrinkled his brow in thought. “I don’t know. I like the fear he instills in you three about loss of food.”

Jeremy looked up from the slice of cake he had just taken a bite from. “I can cut off another piece to seal this lesson in their minds.”

“No!” all three boys shouted in unison.

“Stop torturing them,” Simone said.

Edarra pointed at the pitcher of white sangria. “May I please have the recipe for that? It’s times like this I hate human open-carry laws.”

“Sure.” Simone pointed to the side of it. “Look on the counter next to the Sprite.”

“You sure are holding back,” Jeremy said. “I only saw you eat a small slice earlier.”