Witches for Hire (Odd Jobs #1)(89)



Simone caught Jeremy muttering, “That’s not a hard decision for you to make.”

She looked at Jeremy. “Passive aggressive much?”

“I’m simply noting a ‘save all innocents, but the sinners should be left to drown’ statement when I hear one,” Jeremy said.

“I don’t think he sees things as black and white as you think.”

“Wow, I thought you were Desmond’s number-one groupie.”

Simone shook her head. “Whatever. I don’t have time for this.” She shouted to Edarra, “Anything else looking wonky on your end?”

“Not yet—stay where you are!” Edarra squatted low with her leg back, and the corner wall burst apart as something huge broke through it. She caught the muscle-bound behemoth with their hands interlocking.

Jeremy’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. “He looks like the fucking Hulk.”

“He probably juiced up on his way over here,” Simone said. The wall crumbled more, and a man the same size as his companion bumped past Edarra. “Our turn.” She had to put more magic than she normally would into the barrier to protect the integrity of the hospital’s structure, so plan B was now her only option. As the juggernaut ran toward her, Simone placed her hand on her hip, obscured by her long coat. At least he’s not inhumanly fast like Edarra. When the man reached her, Simone grabbed the handle of her machete and stepped to the side as she slashed the near-giant’s throat. The other energy vamp bellowed, and out of the corner of her eye, Simone saw that Edarra had twisted his body like a corkscrew. Simone’s opponent dropped to the floor on his knees, trying to stop the bleeding at his throat. The floor buckled under him, and blood gushing from his wound slowed. Shit! The barrier isn’t stopping him from draining energy out of the parts that he’s touching.

“You want help?” Jeremy called out.

“Shut up!” Simone tightened her hand on the weapon. “You should not have come here.” That’s the only guilty sentiment he’s getting. Simone clutched the machete with both hands and swung as hard as she could under the man’s chin. His head flew off, and the floor under him returned to its original state. “Edarra! Treat them like zombies!”

“Got it!” Edarra slammed her fists into the energy vamp left standing, snapping his or her arm sockets, and gripped her opponent’s head. With a hard yank, the energy vamp’s head tore off.

“Oh shit,” Simone whispered. “Score for the good guys!”

“That is fucked-up,” Jeremy said in an awed voice.

Edarra looked back at them. “Three more are on their way.”

“God, these fuckers don’t know when to quit. Can you fight one on your own?” she called out to Jeremy. I think all he has is that useless switchblade.

“I have the old man to help me out.” Jeremy slapped the shoulder of his new buddy.

I swear, he gets along with the weirdest people. “I take it back: you’re still lazy.” He has the most magic, so if we go down, he better fucking make sure we don’t die. Simone flexed her fingers. “Let’s do it!” she shouted. In preparation for her next fight, she really needed to search for cooler sayings.




WHEN TOSSER number five or six—bloody hell, there were a ton of these guys—tried to double-team Simone, Jeremy brought his fingers to his lips and whistled. “Sleeping magician, come and get him!”

The idiot actually turned around instead of diminishing their opponent’s odds like sensible monsters.

All that energy was probably clouding their judgment. Another reason why witches turned energy vamps were pathetic. Jeremy snapped his fingers and light flashed from Vince’s direction. While Jeremy had been spellcasting, he’d thrown in a little something extra for a powerful illusion mixed in with hypnosis. To the others, the energy vamp ran at full speed, but in reality, he was now slowed to a snail’s pace. Jeremy dashed into Desmond’s room and laid eyes on his unconscious form. Just like the legends of the curse, Desmond didn’t look sickly. His cheeks bloomed with color, and it would have surprised no one if his eyes opened at that very moment.

To pull it off without alerting the others, Jeremy had to be quick, but it was hard to ignore the fact that Desmond was almost taken from him. “You’re not allowed to leave me,” Jeremy whispered. He bent over Desmond’s still body. “We’ve had our problems over the years, but love was never one of them.” He thought about England. How they’d met as boys first learning to use their magic, and he’d invited Desmond to his home to show him what real family was like because Desmond’s parents were useless wankers. Jeremy remembered the time they had first made love, and the first time he had slept in Desmond’s arms. He pictured Desmond standing on his stoop, awkwardly holding a chocolate cake. This was not the time for cowardice. Jeremy brushed black strands off Desmond’s face. “I love you.” He joined their lips softly. Desmond’s eyes twitched. Then they opened like they should do for many years to come. The smallest frown touched his forehead, and Jeremy stroked the line away. “Now stop being a laze-about, Mr. Great Magician.”

Aware of what little time was left in his spell, Jeremy ran to the hall where the energy vamp was still moving agonizingly slowly while the illusion showed him hunched over struggling doppelgangers of Jeremy and Vince. Jeremy waved his hand, and the real energy vamp fell on Vince in the exact place of the illusion. Jeremy hurriedly slid on the floor to end up in his doppelganger’s location and chanted for the illusion to end. The energy vamp on top of him suddenly flew into the one giving Simone trouble. They tangled into a floating ball and then hit Edarra’s two opponents. All four gathered into a ball of limbs crunching into each other with blood spurting out, but not down. Their own blood circled them as they compacted into a sphere like a condensing star.

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