Wicked Heart (Starcrossed #3)(76)
I wonder what Phoebe would say if I told her that my lobster didn’t pick me. He’s decided to stay with the gorgeous redheaded lobster whose legs are longer than my whole body. So, do I get to choose another lobster now, or is that it? I’m to go through life forever lobsterless?
Without warning, tears well up and spill onto my cheeks. I swipe them away impatiently. “Fuck you and lobsters everywhere, Phoebe. Fuck . . . you.”
I don’t know how long I wallow and stare at the television. Long enough to finish the wine, anyway. I’m considering going out to buy more when there’s a knock at the door.
Dammit. Josh forgets his key more often than he remembers it. Guess Angel didn’t need him to console her after all.
I stomp over to the door and pull it open. “You’re hopeless, you know that—?”
Instead of Josh, Liam’s standing there, looking more wretched than I feel, if that’s possible.
“Liss, you have to know that—”
“Go home.”
I try to close the door, but he stops it with his hand. “Wait. Let me explain.”
“No need. You’ve made your feelings clear. It was a mistake. It meant nothing.”
“Please, just listen to me—”
“I’m done listening to you, Liam! The only thing listening to you ever got me was hurt. Why the hell do you keep coming back to torture me? You made your choice, and it’s not me. Again! I get it!”
“No, you don’t! That’s the trouble. This situation is complicated.”
“Oh, really? Because it seems pretty simple: You’re an asshole. And I’m an idiot for believing you. I thought I knew every douche line out there, but you had me totally fooled.”
“I wasn’t feeding you a line! I meant every word I said to you yesterday. I want to be with you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“How stupid do you think I am? You just stood in front of the world and reaffirmed your love for your fiancée!”
He slaps his hands against the door frame so hard it makes me jump. “No I didn’t! I don’t have a fiancée! I have a fucking contract that forces me to pretend to be engaged to Angel, but that’s it! Our relationship is manufactured bullshit!”
He’s so worked up he’s panting, and my heart is pounding so furiously it takes a moment for me to understand what I’ve just heard. When it sinks in, a flash of anger runs up my spine. “What?!”
He steps forward, but if he touches me right now, I don’t know what I’ll do. I turn and walk to the far side of the living room.
“Everything I just said at the press conference,” he says, his voice softer as he watches me with wary eyes. “All of that stuff about only ever having loved one woman in my whole life. It was about you. God, Liss. Don’t you understand? It’s only ever been you.” He stares at me, as if he’s waiting for me to explode. I don’t. I’m too shell-shocked to even move, apart from hugging the wine bottle so tightly to my chest it hurts. When the silence becomes uncomfortable, he comes inside and gently closes the door. Then he just stands there for a few seconds, one hand on the handle, his other hanging limply at his side.
“When I got home last night,” he says, staring at the floor, “Anthony was waiting with those photos. A friend of his at TMZ had tipped him off they were about to hit, and he was pissed. Seriously pissed. Can’t say I blamed him. What I did with you was stupid. Not the kissing part, because I couldn’t regret that if you put a gun to my head. But doing it out in the open? That was dumb. After the thing at Jamie’s grave, I should have known I was being followed, that that asshole from the bar would have been on us the moment we stepped into the street.”
He rubs his face. “Anthony kept drilling me about your identity. Said that if we threw you to the wolves, it would take some of the heat off me. Of course, there was no way in hell I was going to do that, so I denied everything, even though it killed me.” He looks over at me, regret coloring every feature. “Anthony’s been watching me like a hawk all day, making sure I didn’t do anything to make it worse. That’s why I didn’t warn you. Just before the press conference, I snuck out to the bathroom to try to call you and explain, but your phone was off. I’m so sorry.”
I suddenly know how Alice must have felt on the other side of the looking glass. I feel like I’m in Bizarro World. This is completely surreal. “But, you and Angel—”
“Aren’t engaged. We never have been. We’ve never even had sex. The whole thing was set up to generate publicity.”
He watches me carefully. Gauging my reaction. I don’t know how long I stand there, disbelief all over my face. It must be a while because eventually he says, “Jesus, Liss. Please say something. Anything. Just . . . react.”
I take a breath as I attempt to process it all. I can’t. It’s so ridiculous, my brain has seized. “So you’ve been lying? To me? To the entire world? For years?”
“Elissa, I’m sorry.”
Incredulity floods my body, followed by fury. Suddenly, I have a lot to say, and all of it is accompanied by huge messy emotions that make my voice loud and my cheeks wet. “Do you have any idea how much you hurt me? How devastated I was six years ago when I saw pictures of you and Angel together? How much you hurt me today when it seemed you were choosing her all over again? And now you’re telling me it was all a goddamn publicity stunt?!” I slam the wine bottle down on the table so hard, Liam flinches.