War Bride (Battle Born #7)(35)
“Tonn said you’re a crown favorite,” she persisted. “How will Pern Keire react to one of his generals joining with a Bilarrian? Your planet is at war with mine, yet I will have access to your mind and emotions. Surely the crown stirate will have something to say about that.”
“He can rail and threaten me until hell’s rings turn to ice. He needs me too badly to do more than shout. My heart has made its choice.”
“All right. What about me? Would we live here or on your spaceship? How often would I see you if I stayed here?”
Her tone remained conversational, her expression calm, yet each question she asked peeled away another layer of his confidence. Was it possible she was still considering her options, or was she simply defining the situation so she could reject him one final time? “Here would be more practical, or at one of my other properties. And as for how often you’d see me, I’d be home most every night. I’m a multi-ship commander. I supervise and dispatch long-range missions, but I seldom participate in them.”
She pressed her teeth into her lower lip, looking slightly uncomfortable. “My brother would disown me, but my sisters might forgive me once the shock has worn off. But I would never be able to return to Bilarri. You’re asking me to give up my home and most of my friends. I know you think my job is frivolous, but I enjoy it.”
“I’m offering more than just me,” he reminded, barely able to think past the rushing of blood through his ears. “Unlike the males your brother chose for you, I can give you children.”
“Battle born children,” she muttered. “Will they be ridiculed and shunned. I don’t care what people think about me, but I’m not sure I could deal with anyone being cruel to our sons.”
“Sons?” He took a step toward her, hands trembling. “We will have more than one?”
She shook her head, but was suddenly avoiding his gaze. “I’m not sure why I said that. I’ve only seen one.”
He narrowed his eyes on her lovely face, not sure he believed her. “And don’t forget that your abilities would make you invaluable here. On Bilarri magic is common; here it’s a rarity.”
With a hesitant step, she brought their bodies closer. He could reach out and touch her now, but he kept his hands at his sides. He didn’t want to rush her, wanted her to be certain of her choice.
“So answer the question,” she prompted. “Do you want this to be real?”
Hope swept away the past and left him breathless and trembling. “More than anything.”
“Then let me go.”
Her smooth features revealed nothing and his heart lodged in his throat. He couldn’t tell if this was a test or the cruelest twist anyone could ever conceive. Everything within him prayed it was a test, but there was only one way to find out. He swallowed hard, then forced the words out despite the sawdust in his mouth. “You are no longer my prisoner. I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”
She held out her hand and her eyes filled with mischief. “I want to go inside. I want you to take off your clothes and get on the bed. Each time we’ve touched you’ve controlled the situation. As penance, I want you to give that control to me.”
He tensed. Control wasn’t a preference with him, it was his basic nature. He wasn’t sure he could—if he didn’t, she’d walk away. He could see it in her eyes. She needed to regain control of her life, which meant he would have to trust her for a change.
“Anything you want is yours.” He wrapped his hand around hers, entwining their fingers. “Now and always.”
Her smile broadened and she led him back inside. Giddy pleasure filled his brain, making it hard to think. Was this really happening? Had his feisty war bride transformed into his morautu? They’d come this far before, reached the point of joining only to have her turn him away. Was that her game? Would she leave him naked and desperate as she walked out of his life forever? He deserved no better, yet he didn’t see cruelty in her eyes, just warmth and sweet acceptance.
She squeezed his hand. “You look terrified. I didn’t think you were capable of the emotion.”
“If this is some sort of game…” He would not beg for mercy. He was a Rodyte general! Pride reinforced his shattered composure. If this was her revenge, he’d face the challenge head-on as he had always done.
“You’re the one who likes games. I’m tired of pretending.” There was no rancor in her tone, no sarcasm that he could detect.
They stood beside the bed, his bed, in his ancestral home. His pulse kicked up a notch at the importance of the setting. He started to speak, to ask again if this was real, but she pressed her fingertips against his lips and silenced him.
“No more words. No promises or denials. Let’s let our bodies communicate, let our souls explore each other.”
How could he argue with that? Their mind link would allow him to feel her strongest emotions and once he claimed her there would be no more secrets between them. He framed her face with his hands and bent his head to kiss her, but again she covered his mouth with her fingertips.
“You haven’t atoned for your sins.”
His hands folded into tight fists and dread surged through his system. He was starting to understand why trust had been so hard for her. She’d told him that this wasn’t a game, had assured him that he would finally have what he desired most in the universe. So why was it still so easy to imagine her walking away?