War Bride (Battle Born #7)(33)
“I don’t mind.” She seemed relieved by the offer.
He rested his forearm on the railing and turned his body toward her. “When I began my search, I wasn’t looking for a bride. I was looking for a weapon to use against Harbinger Guild.”
“I know.” Her tone was emotionless and she said nothing more.
“But we were genetically compatible and it twisted everything. Suddenly I had two needs, both incredibly important, but they pulled me in opposite directions.” He took another breath, trying to slow his pulse, but her scent filled his nose along with the cool night air. His senses came to life and his heart pounded even faster. “I’m Rodyte. I knew you would hate me and want nothing but to escape me. Still, I needed your help to rescue my son. So I decided to use your hostility to motivate you rather than attempt to overcome it.”
Her eyes narrowed and she buried her hands in the pockets of the robe. “But I found out about your son in the dream meld. In fact, you were furious about it.”
“I was furious because I’d lost control of the situation. Tonn was supposed to tell you about Arton, little by little, over a period of time. You weren’t ready to learn what I really wanted.”
“What you really wanted?” Her laugh was harsh and humorless. “You made that perfectly clear every time you entered the cabin.”
He sighed and folded his hands into fists. This wasn’t going well at all. “I won’t apologize for wanting you. Combating the pull every step of the way wasn’t part of the plan. I captured you to rescue my son, not to warm my bed.”
She turned toward the sea, letting the night wind play through her hair. Her profile was so pure, so perfect that it took his breath away. “I know what did happen.” Her voice was soft and thoughtful. “Tell me what was supposed to have happened.”
With a sigh he realized he wasn’t quite sure. The intensity of their attraction had reshaped all his well laid plans. “I knew the only way you’d help me was if I agreed to set you free, but your abilities led you to the truth much sooner than you were supposed to know. You didn’t trust me at all and I’d behaved badly too many times for you to believe anything I said. The pull was stronger than I’d ever imagined and—”
“You can’t blame this on the pull,” she flared, turning toward him again. Her red phitons glowed, a not so subtle reminder that she was Bilarrian. “You’d been through it before. You knew how intense everything would be with a potential mate.”
He shook his head. “It was never like this with Jiatta. Genetic compatibility only amplifies attraction. It doesn’t create it. I was attracted to you before I caught your scent and the pull kicked in. I feel like I’ve always loved you.”
“Loved me?” She shook her head, eyes filled with pain. “I’m not sure you know the meaning of the word. You don’t torment someone you love. You don’t frighten and intimidate them.”
He couldn’t defend his actions. She was right. He’d behaved horribly, used the situation to indulge his savage side. “I’m sorry. I was wrong to manipulate your feelings and exploit the need created by our genetic compatibility. I should have been stronger, more protective of my potential mate.”
Apparently that hadn’t been the response she’d expected. Her expression softened and tension melted out of her stance. “You knew we were compatible before you kidnapped me. If rescuing Arton was your only goal, why didn’t you choose someone else?”
“I never said Arton was my only goal. I said he was my original goal. He was the reason for my search. But my search led to an extraordinary female who was searching for a compatible male. The mate finder told me you’d been searching for six years. I couldn’t help wondering if I could give you what you wanted in return for your help.”
Emotions rolled across her features so fast he couldn’t untangle them. One thing was certain. She wasn’t ready to forgive him yet. “Why didn’t you just ask me?”
He laughed and spread his arms in a helpless shrug. “I’m your enemy. You’ve been taught since birth to hate me. I couldn’t risk your refusal. Rescuing Arton is too important.”
“So you continued with your original plan while trying to ‘court’ me?” She still sounded confused and he couldn’t blame her. The situation was confusing. He was attempting to accomplish two things that clashed and contradicted each other.
“Basically.”
She took a step toward him and then another. “Why were you so afraid that I’d reject you if you told me everything? We’d spent enough time together. You should have known I’d feel compassion for your son and want to see him reunited with his father.”
He clenched his fists as dread twisted through his gut. If she needed complete honesty to trust him, he’d bare his soul. “I wasn’t afraid you’d reject Arton. I was afraid—” Emotion closed his throat and he couldn’t finish the thought.
“I’d reject you?” He nodded. “But why? You know how much I want you.”
“Jiatta wanted me too.” Needing to purge himself of the bitterness and sorrow, he rushed through the explanation. “Mating fever brought us together and allowed us to be happy until Arton was born. Then I was so consumed by my need to protect Arton that Jiatta felt neglected.”