Vindicate (Recovered Innocence #1)(51)

“Thanks, Savannah.”

She closes the door, leaving me alone with Cora again.

“Why did you cut me off earlier?” I ask, against my better judgment, referring to my almost declaration. I’m really not sure I want to know the answer.

She sits back down at her desk again. “Because it’s not true.”

I prop myself up on my hands. “But it is true.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.” I slowly make my way to a standing position.

“There are two times a guy will say he loves you and won’t really mean it—before, during, or after sex and when he thinks he’s going to lose you.”

“That’s four times, and who in the hell told you that bullshit?”

“Beau.”

“Well, he’s wrong.”

“No, he’s exactly right. I didn’t believe him, but it’s true. I’m pretty sure you were this close”—she holds her thumb and forefinger a hair’s breadth apart—“to asking me to marry you.”

She’s starting to piss me off. “I was not.”

“Yeah. You were. Look, just because we got naked and did stuff doesn’t mean I want or expect anything from you.” She gives her computer the attention she’s supposed to be giving me.

I gape at her, my mouth hanging open. When she says stuff like that it makes me want her more than anything in the whole world. And it’s not because of what Beau said. It’s because she’s so far and away different from anyone I’ve ever met. Every time she throws me a curve ball I fall for her a little more.

“You probably have a hard-on right now because I’m not falling at your feet,” she says.

Damn it. I might have the beginnings of a hard-on. “How can anyone get wood after you kick them in the nuts and piss them off every chance you get?” I stomp over to my desk and sit down. Something occurs to me. “Did you kiss me because you wanted to or because you wanted to shut me up?”

“Both.”

“Aha! I knew it. You want me as bad as I want you.” If that were a real thing we’d be rolling around on the floor right now.

“What I want is for you to figure out what you want.”

“I want you to stop letting other guys kiss you.” And for her to be half as crazy about me as I am about her. “Who the hell was that, anyway?”

“Dylan Newman. Beau’s friend and the guy who was going out with Cassandra shortly before she was killed.”

“And you hugged him? He’s a suspect.”

“He’s no more a suspect than you. What happened with Zelda?”

“Nothing and something.”

She finally gives me eye contact. “What does that mean?”

“I was supposed to tell you about it on our date tonight.”

“We’re not going on a date until you figure out what you want.”

“I know what I want.”

“You think you know what you want, but you really don’t.”

“Stop saying that. I know what I want and what I want is you right here, right now on top of this desk. I want you to wrap your legs around me and scream my name when you come.”

She laughs. “Not going to happen.”

“What can I do to make you believe me?”

“I don’t know. Probably nothing.”

I can tell she’s done talking about what’s going on between us. I’m not done, but I let it go and ask her about what Dylan told her. If we’re talking about the case, we’re on even ground. It’s when we veer off into the uncharted territory of what’s between us that we seem to falter. Maybe it’s one of those things that just is and the more you think about it or talk about it the more impossible it seems.

I wasn’t f*cking around about loving her. I fell hard for her the second I laid eyes on her. Every minute since has been like riding an amusement-park ride I can’t get off even if I wanted to. One thing’s clear—I’m so much deeper into this than she is and it pulls at me. How in the hell am I going to get her to fall in love with me? Because if I can’t accomplish that, I’m looking at a life without her, and that is not an option.





Chapter 23


Cora


I couldn’t hear Leo say those three words because I might believe them. If I believed them then I’d buy into the whole idea of “us.” And if I bought into the idea, then I’d have to look at my own very illogical feelings and how they’ve grown wildly out of control. It was easier when this was just going to be a summer fling, an experiment living in a world I’ve never walked in. Leo seemed like the perfect person to go there with. He’s experienced, he’s leaving in the fall, he seems more than willing, and most of all he’s sexier than hell.

I have to shut this whole thing down before one of us says or does something we can’t take back or ignore. The other side of the issue is that Beau was right. Leo suddenly found his supposed feelings when faced with the prospect of me walking away. So what happens if I really do break things off? I was half joking about him asking me to marry him. That’s not the way I want things to happen. I don’t want things between us to be anything but easy and natural. I have enough strained obligatory relationships in my life to add one more.