Vindicate (Recovered Innocence #1)(46)

All day Cora’s been casting confused looks my direction. She hasn’t asked me what’s wrong since we left the house, but she knows something’s up. I’m hoping to get out of here in the next five minutes for my meeting with Zelda without Cora bringing it up again. I don’t want to hurt her. She’s had too much hurt in her life already. I’m not sure I have all the words to explain what happened for me last night when I held her after her first ever orgasm. As she drifted off to sleep I lay awake with the realization that I’m not good enough for her. The weight of that was a physical ache that started in the center of my chest and radiated out until I was a man made of pain.

I was finally asleep when she grabbed my dick, wanting to go for round two. Instead of putting her off I played with her, not thinking for a second that she’d lose it like that. I should know better by now than to hold on to expectations when it comes to Cora. She constantly throws me. Before I knew it I’d gone too far, making her come that second time. I almost thrust all the way into her. If I hadn’t slipped up instead of in I would’ve climaxed inside her instead of on top of her. I was nothing but a thief, selfishly trying to steal what wasn’t mine.

“Isn’t it time for you to leave to go meet Zelda?” Cora asks.

I was so busy trying to look busy and avoid Cora that I almost forgot about the appointment. “Yeah.” I grab my notebook and stand to go.

“I’ll be here when you get back.” She hasn’t looked up from her computer once during this exchange. Her absolute if-you-don’t-give-a-f*ck-I-don’t-give-a-f*ck attitude throws me. She’s not like other girls. I have to remind myself to stop treating her like she is.

“Okay. See you.” I scoot out with everything lingering between us.

I’m almost to the outside door when Savannah’s voice stops me. “So you f*cked her, huh?”

I whip my head around. “Excuse me?”

“You’re escaping like you did something wrong and she’s pretty much ignored you all day. I know the signs. I’ve been on the other side of your love-’em-and-leave-’em antics.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But I do and she’s too f*cking right.

She lets out a sigh and leans back in her chair. “When are you going to grow some balls?”

I shake my head. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“I don’t have time for this.”

She gets up from her desk and comes around it toward me. “Here’s the thing: I like Cora. She thinks I hate her, but I don’t. What I hate is you acting like women are just there to get you off and nothing more. You like the chase. The problem is you don’t know what to do when it’s over. Cora strikes me as someone who doesn’t have a whole lot of experience with guys like you.

“Hell, I bet she doesn’t have a lot of experience with guys, period. And then you walk into her life all movie-star hair”—she flicks my hair—“and I-f*ck-like-a-god stare. And she falls on her back because let’s face it, you back up that swagger with real skill. Then, after you get what you want, you’re all Peace out. Am I close to what happened since I saw you yesterday?”

I loathe her. I think I honestly hate her. I also hate myself because she’s f*cking right.

Shaking her head, she takes my silence as confirmation. “When are you going to grow the f*ck up?”

“I don’t have time for this.” I split because, hey, it’s apparently what I do best.

I’m halfway down the stairs before it hits me what an * I’ve been. Like truly a big giant f*cking *. Instead of avoiding my issues with Cora I should’ve just spelled them out for her. I’m not boyfriend material. Savannah only confirmed what I already knew. I’m not the stick-around type. I’m in it only until I get what I want. Then I lose interest like some kind of ADHD sex addict. I’m surprised I stuck around with Cora long enough to wipe my cum off her stomach. That must be some kind of record for me, some new emotionally mature high I’ll never achieve again.

I tear out of the parking lot like my ass is on fire, when, in truth, all of me is burning. I can hardly stand to be in my own skin. It feels like it’s going to melt off me and reveal the true me to the world, the one beyond the movie-star hair and I-f*ck-like-a-god stare. And who would want me then? What am I if I’m not exactly what people expect?

I’m so in my head that I miss the turn to Zelda’s house and have to go back. That’s when I notice the car following me. It makes the same illegal U-turn in the middle of the road that I do. I pass Zelda’s street on the right and turn left instead. The car follows. We wind our way through the neighborhood. I know these streets. My friend John lived here. Now he’s living in New York working as a stockbroker. If I make a left, then a right…Aha, there it is.

I circle around the cul-de-sac and stop. The car does the same, only it doesn’t stop. It keeps going past me. The windows are tinted too dark to see who’s driving. I pull out after it and now the chasee becomes the chaser. There are no plates to run. If I don’t keep this guy in sight I’ll never find out who he is and what he wants. Although I have a feeling I know—the same guy who broke into Cora’s place and called her parents.

I can’t let him out of my eyesight.