Vindicate (Recovered Innocence #1)(50)

“Yes, you do. Stop messing with me.”

“I’m not messing with you. You made it very clear that last night was it for you. You don’t want anything more and that’s fine. But you can’t come at me now like some jealous boyfriend, demanding answers to questions you don’t have the right to.”

My hands fist. “Jealous boyfriend?” I need to punch something. I look around, but there’s nothing. “Jealous boyfriend?”

She turns back to her computer. “You’re repeating yourself.”

“What the actual f*ck, Cora?”

Rolling her eyes, she glares up at me. “What do you want from me?”

“What do I want? What—”

“Did you hit your head? Is that why you keep repeating everything?”

“I did not hit my head.”

“Then either shut up and help me or say something that makes sense. I’ve got work to do.”

I growl—actually growl in frustration. I’m so in over my head with her it isn’t even funny. I’m drowning and she won’t throw me a f*cking rope. “You can’t go around letting other guys kiss you.”

“Whatever.” She goes back to what she was doing.

I grab the arms of her chair and swing her around to look at me. “I mean it, Cora. Knock that shit off.”

“Or what?”

Gripping her face, I smash my mouth to hers. She pushes at me. I give it everything I’ve got. Pain shoots up my groin, making me sick to my stomach. Releasing her, I grab my dick and drop.

She stands over me. “If you ever come at me like that again I’ll grind your nuts to dust with my boot heel. You got it?”

I can’t breathe, let alone answer her f*cking question.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” I wheeze.

“I’m sorry, but you have to admit you had that coming.”

She’s right. I did have that coming, and now that it’s here—and I’m barely managing to hold down the vomit—I see where everything went wrong. I see what an idiot I’ve been. Cora didn’t want or need me in her life, but she let me in anyway. That’s no small thing, and yet I treated it as if it was. I roll onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. Cora leans over me, reluctant concern in her vivid blue eyes. I did this to her, to us. I got what I wanted and then for some reason decided I didn’t deserve it. I jerked her forward, pushed her back, then tried to pull her to me all over again. She was right to drop me like this.

I put my forearm over my face, cutting off the sight of her. I can’t look at her right now. Looking at her means looking at what an * I’ve been. Savannah was right. About everything. I’d tell Cora to knee me again because I deserve it, but I don’t think I could survive it.

“Do you need a doctor?” I can hear the worry in her voice.

So all that not caring one way or the other about me—about us—was partly for show. Or at the very least to show me what I should’ve seen all along. Funny how a swift knee to the crotch clears the head.

“No.” I snake my other hand out and wrap it around her ankle. I need to make sure she doesn’t go anywhere. I need her right here for what I have to say because if I don’t say it, if I don’t act in this moment of clarity, I could lose her. If I haven’t already.

“I’m sorry,” I say, still a little out of breath and queasy. “I shouldn’t have grabbed you and kissed you like that.” I move my arm to my forehead so I can look up at her again.

I shouldn’t have done that because all the words are backing up in my brain while I just stare at her, taking in how incredibly beautiful she is. Our gazes lock. Hers is very direct, but there’s something else there too and it gives me the encouragement I need to press on.

“I really am sorry.” My voice cracks on the last word like I’m going through puberty. I’m sorry about so many things with her.

She kneels down on the floor next to me. “Okay.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Yes. You are.” But she’s smiling.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“No. You don’t.”

“You shouldn’t kiss me right now.”

“No.” She leans close so that our mouths are nearly touching. “I shouldn’t.”

“I lo—”

She cuts me off with a kiss. I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed. I was going to say three words I’ve never said to anyone ever. Maybe she didn’t want to hear them. I don’t know. All I know is that she’s kissing me and I’m kissing her.

“Oh, good. All back to normal.” I didn’t hear Savannah open the door.

Cora must not have either, because she’s up and off me like I’m on fire.

“Mostly.” I say, stacking my hands under my head. “I’m still waiting for the feeling to come back into my crotch.”

Savannah gives Cora two thumbs up. “I knew there was something I liked about you.”

“He had it coming,” Cora says, a corner of her mouth kicked up.

“Don’t I know it.” She winks at Cora. “I’m taking off for the night. Will you guys lock up when you’re done…recovering?” She starts to leave, then turns back. “Oh, your dad called,” she tells me. “He said to tell you that he wants to see the both of you tomorrow morning first thing.”