Vindicate (Insight #5)(48)
“No,” she said quietly. “I had those thoughts long be fore I followed Draven into The Realm. That place just amplified my thoughts . Made me doubt and believe everything I see… most of the time, I think about what is on the other side of The Realm. What I can’t see. How deep the rabbit hole goes, if you will.”
“You don’t think it’s some kind of dream world? A shared dream or shared conscious?”
“We could argue that point – but what if this world is? What if we are nothing more than a feeding ground for that dark energy? What if we are prisoners in a lost war of souls – living in exile – trying to fight our way home, fearing that death is our only way there – but at the same time fearing one wrong deed will forever capture us in the evil realm I’m fighting in now?”
“You really do think deep,” I mumbled.
“And you don’t, my Scorpio friend?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. “What plagues your thoughts?”
“Right now?” I said, raising my eyebrows. “How to bring Landen back to me. Drake back.”
“And before that?”
“Honestly? Finding you. Ending this dimension’s misery.”
She turned her finger in front of her, mocking a wheel. “A hamster in a wheel – r unning really fast in circles. No dire ction. No idea what you are doing.”
“I’d rather be running than standing still…listen…I think your thoughts have depth, and another time I would have debated them with you endlessly, but right now I can’t focus on them.”
Why was everyone throwing philosophy at me? I’m a little bit too distract right now to learn from it.
“Do you see now why I don’t want to fall in love ? Why I don’t want the clarity of my mind to be overthrown with the fear of losing love?”
Where did that statement come from? “That is a miserable way to see love . Soul mates make you stronger. You don’t stand alone in the darkness with them at your side.”
“Yet, you’re standing alone now . You had to come for us just to fight your way to them…bet you’ve been fighting for love since your first breath.”
“You’re right,” I said, not feeling ashamed of it.
“You know what happens when you fall in love?” she asked.
“I think I do,” I said, raising my eyebrows She rolled her eyes at me before she spoke. “When you fall in love, you focus everything – all of your energy on one person . Eventually, you b egin to pull from that person. You’re pulling because you cut yourself off from every source of energy that sustained you before that point – and before long, you have placed yourself in the weakest position you could imagine.”
“Being in love is not weak. I t’s empowering,” I maintained .
She moved her head side-to-side. “How crazy would it be to think that the one weapon we have – love – the most powerful thing in all of energy – is also our weakness. You have been purposely distracted …running in circles, making sacrifices of the heart, and all the while the evil creeps closer. The evil is feeding, and y ou have laid a feast before it. You stopped finding energy from the universe – and only pull from Landen, s o when he is gone – you’re gone. That is defeat.”
All right, lets debate this. “And what do you suppose I do? Stop fighting for love. For Landen? Walk away from Drake ? This dimension? You would not ask me to do that if you had felt love like that . Purpose like that. We are not meant to be alone.”
“I’m not telling you to stop fighting for anyone or anything. I’m telling you t o wake up.” Her sin flushed. “Stop giving the darkness every reason to take Landen from you . To hurt these people…I may not be able to ‘see ’ you – dance in your thoughts, but I can see your energy. I can see the d amage you have done to yourself. You’re tired . Weak. I f I had to guess, I would say that in the beginning you were just dodging what made you unique, and when you were forced to face it – you fel l into the ‘poor me’ syndrome. Yes, you had your moments of strength . Ones I’m sure I would admire if I could see them, but now – now you’re lost . You have allowed this place . This evil to take over your life .” She glanced to the aura around me. “I see the energy of others around you…people who have tried to lead, follow – love you, but you are blocking them. You don’t trust anyone, including yourself…and that is not going to win you any victories in The Realm . Or this world, for that matter.”
Can we say reality check? How did she know all of that? “All true, I suppose…but under all that, I just wanted peace.”
“Yet you never asked why . Never tried to perceive the unknown . You just kept working though what was in front of you – not taking a moment to see the big picture…you never asked the question, so you never found the answer . Quit asking ‘why me’ and star t asking what can I do to help. What can I do in this universe to move humanity forward? What action needs to be taken – and if you think loving Landen – finding someone to love Drake is your answer…well then, I think this dimension should prepare for infinite dark days – because you are blind.”
It was like watching the reflection in the mirror scorn you. “Do you know how hard it is for me to tell you that I agree with you?” I mumbled.