Uniting the Souls (Souls of Chicago #6)(64)
“Things continued that way for a long time. Dad kept drinking and hitting us, he eventually lost his job because he’d called in too many times when he was too hung over to make it in. He told Zane and me we would have to get jobs then and, luckily, we both got hired on at the nearby pizza place. It was hard. We were both going to school all day, Zane had practices or games nearly every day, we had homework to keep up with and then suddenly we were expected to hold down a job that didn’t end until one in the morning. We were exhausted, but somehow, we managed to hold it together and the job got us out of the house and away from Dad more so that was a plus.
“It somehow got even worse once Dad quit working. I suppose sitting around the house all day gave him more time to dwell on the past, to drink, and to think up ways he could show his hatred towards us. Dad started getting creative then, waiting until we were fast asleep to come in our rooms and attack or catching us as soon as we stepped out of the shower, naked and defenseless. He was a monster who, even in his rage, would be sure not to leave any marks where someone might see.
“One night when I was around sixteen, Zane and I were both asleep in our rooms. I woke up to the sound of Zane screaming and my father shouting vile names at him. There was a loud thumping sound and I wasn’t sure what it was until he came into my room next with a baseball bat.” Matt sucked in a sharp breath and buried his face in my neck. I could feel him shaking next to me and I knew how hard it had to be for him and Hudson to hear. If anyone ever laid a hand on one of my guys, I’d want to rip them to shreds.
“When it was over and Dad had slunk away somewhere and passed out, Zane came into my room and crawled into bed with me. He was breathing funny and I worried that he had a broken rib, but he was more concerned about me. He made me promise that night that if things ever got that bad again that I’d run. I told him no, that I didn’t want to ever leave him, but he wouldn’t let up until I promised. Zane was getting upset which was making it even harder for him to breathe so I agreed just so he’d settle down. I promised him that if Dad ever started to beat us as bad as he had that night that I would get away, that I’d run and not look back until I was somewhere safe.”
Tears ran down my face as I pictured the look of relief on Zane’s face when I made that promise. “It was like as long as he knew I would be safe, then he didn’t care what happened to him. That thought had scared me and I’d told him that he needed to promise me the same thing, but he’d passed out from exhaustion and all the pain and horrors of the night.
“Months went by and the beatings continued, but they never got as bad as that night. Zane turned eighteen and graduated from high school. I was terrified that I would be left alone with Dad, but Zane stayed there. He said he’d talked to the college who had offered him a full ride if he played soccer for them and they were willing to wait a year for him. I was so relieved, but at the same time, I felt guilty knowing that he could have been free of Dad, but instead, he stayed there for me. I had turned seventeen and was a senior. We were able to hide some of our pizza delivery tips from Dad and had set that aside so that as soon as I graduated we could get an apartment together somewhere near the college and then start there together in the fall. We never made it that far.” Hudson pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around me as I began to shake.
“Do you need to stop, baby?” he asked. I could see how worried they both were, but I needed to get this over with so I shook my head no.
“One day we were all at home. There was no school that day because of some stupid teacher in-service something or other and our boss said it was slow at work and he didn’t need us. Dad had been in his room, sleeping off the bender from the night before. Zane and I were cleaning the house and trying to be as quiet as we could so we wouldn’t wake our father. Zane was washing the dishes while I dried them. He handed me a plate and before I could stop it, it slipped from my fingers and crashed to the floor.” I closed my eyes, remembering the look of horror that had crossed Zane’s face.
“Zane grabbed my arm and we started to run towards the back door. I opened the door and looked back when I felt Zane being yanked backwards by our father. Dad’s face was purple, mottled with rage and he threw Zane down on the floor. He began beating him and Zane tried to crawl away. I jumped on Dad’s back and hit him over and over, trying to get him to let go of my brother. It was the first time I’d ever fought back and I was terrified, but I had to do something to help Zane. Dad threw me off him and I hit my head so hard on the counter that I saw stars.
“I was dizzy and seeing double of everything. I saw Dad sitting on top of Zane and punching him in the face over and over again. I remember being surprised, because Dad had never hit us anywhere that people could see, and that’s when I realized that he didn’t plan on stopping that time. He was going to kill Zane.” A sob burst from my chest as I relived that terrible moment.
“Zane was barely conscious, but he managed to find me. His eyes had always been the same shape and bright blue as mine, but when he looked at me then, they were dull, like he was barely hanging on. ‘Run!’ he screamed at me, but I shook my head no. I couldn’t leave him. I managed to get to my feet and I jumped on Dad’s back again, hitting and flailing at him with everything I had, but nothing I did seemed to make a difference. ‘You promised, now run!’ Zane shouted at me, and then Dad hit him one more time straight in the face. I heard the crack of his nose and teeth and blood went flying.” I was sobbing hard then and I wasn’t even sure Hudson and Matt could make sense of what I was saying, but I kept talking anyway, needing to purge myself of every last detail.