Uniting the Souls (Souls of Chicago #6)(18)

“Are you alright, Matt?” he asked softly.

I stared into his warm green eyes. I knew Caleb to be a kind and caring person, giving his time and talents freely to the kids at the center and always lending an ear to those who needed a friend. I had spent years keeping myself closed off from everyone so I was surprised by just how much I wanted to open up to him, to finally share some of my story with another person.

And so, I did.

Caleb sat quietly, his eyes never leaving mine as I told him everything. I started at the beginning and didn’t leave anything out. Giovanni joined us and held his husband’s hand, showing his silent support. My food was delivered in front of me, but still, I never stopped talking. It was as if the floodgates had opened and I needed to purge myself of everything I’d been through. The only thing I didn’t mention was Isaac and Hudson and the feelings I’d been experiencing when they were near.

With each word that poured out of me, I felt the tightness in my chest loosening until finally, when I was finished, I slumped back into my chair, feeling exhausted, but also as if I could truly breathe for the first time in years.

Caleb’s eyes were swimming with unshed tears and held so much compassion as he stood up, made his way around the table, and wrapped me in a fierce hug. I was startled at first and I looked over Caleb’s shoulder, meeting Giovanni’s gaze, but he was smiling back at me. I reached up with shaky hands, patting Caleb on the back awkwardly.

“Thank you for telling us all of that,” Caleb whispered in my ear and then he drew back, taking my hands in his and looking directly at me. “I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve been through, Matt, and I’m especially sorry that you’ve held it in for this long.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not really sure why that came out all of a sudden. That was certainly not my reason for coming here,” I explained, feeling a bit embarrassed that I had just unloaded that much personal information on my friends.

“Please, don’t apologize. We’re your friends, both of us,” Caleb said, glancing over his shoulder at his husband and I watched as Giovanni nodded his agreement. “And we want to be here for you. There’s no reason to go through life all on your own when there are people that want to care about you,” he said. I knew he was talking about our friendship, but I also found it quite fitting for Isaac and Hudson as well. I was tired of being a spectator in my own life, so why was I holding back? Was it wrong to want to grab a little bit of happiness for myself?

“You’re absolutely right,” I told Caleb. “Thank you both for listening and for dinner too, it was delicious,” I told them as I stood to leave.

“I’m just glad you finally stopped by. We’re going to expect to see your face around here more often, alright?” Giovanni said. He threw an arm around his husband’s shoulder and stuck his hand out towards me. I shook it and then Caleb came forward, wrapping his arms around my waist and giving me a firm hug. I hugged him back, feeling less awkward that time, and he was smiling as he stepped back.

“Now that you’re out and about more, I hope to see you at the party Saturday night,” he said.

“What party?” I asked.

“The going away party for Carter’s Creed. They’re heading out on tour so we’re having a big party to send them off.” I could see the pride and a touch of sadness as Caleb talked about his brother’s band. I knew as a twin, it must be especially difficult to be apart from each other for long periods of time.

“I’ll do my best,” I answered. His eyebrow lifted knowingly and I laughed. “No, I mean it. I’ll try to be there.” Satisfied with my answer, Caleb smiled and I turned and headed out the door, feeling much lighter than I had in a long time. As I made my way out to my car, I made a mental note to stop in once in a while and check on him while his brother was away. After all, that’s what friends do, I thought with a smile.





My phone chimed, alerting me to a new text message and I smiled when I picked it up and saw who it was.

HUDSON: I’m looking forward to tonight. It’s been too long since I saw you.

ME: You just saw me yesterday.

HUDSON: Exactly! That’s too long.

ME: It is for me too. I’ll see you tonight.

HUDSON: I’ll be counting the hours.

My smile widened with his response. It still took me by surprise that a man like Hudson would be even remotely interested in me. I didn’t understand what he could possibly see in me, but I’d promised myself that I would try to relax and enjoy it for however long it lasted.

We hadn’t gone out anymore since that first night and we barely had time to talk when he came into the center because more and more kids were scheduling private counseling sessions with him, which was a wonderful thing. He did take the time to stop by my office when he was there though to say hello and see how I was doing and we’d started texting each other throughout the day and every night before bed.

We were slowly getting to know each other, but neither of us were in a rush to take things further, as if by some unspoken agreement, we’d both decided we should wait to see what Matt would do. That is, if we ever got the chance to ask him about it. I was afraid to push Matt and had cautioned Hudson that doing so could result in him retreating back into his shell. Hudson, on the other hand, was convinced that Matt needed a little push to help him move on from whatever was holding him back. After what happened in my office, I was starting to think Hudson was right.