Two Bar Mitzvahs (No Weddings #3)(74)

Soft laughter chimed out from the sidewalk reunion, and I spun my attention forward again. Hannah’s megawatt smile struck me.

She knelt down, then laughed as Ava licked her face. “I’ve missed you too, girl. Yes, I have. Oh yes, I have.”

A pang of jealousy speared through my heart. But I banished the nuisance feeling as quickly as it had come.

The innocent deserved unconditional love.

The rest of us had to earn it.

Ava’s new red leash trailed along the cement as Hannah lifted the gangly puppy into her arms. “She’s almost too big to pick up now.”

Unsure if I’d be able to keep my hands to myself if I let them hang free, I shoved them into the pockets of my jeans. “Yeah. Mase’s been feeding her some kind of premium organic puppy chow.”

She nodded. Her smile softened as her gaze lifted to meet mine. Hesitant hope reflected back to me in those bright green eyes. She threaded her hand through the loop of the leash before plopping Ava down onto the sidewalk. They walked the rest of the way to the bench. “Don’t forget how he loads his plate with extra food, just to be able to drop her table scraps.”

I snorted. “Delinquents.”

Hannah sat on the bench, and I pulled my hands out of my pockets, lowering to sit beside her.

Her eyes narrowed as she examined my face. “You look too skinny. And very tan.”

“Yeah. No appetite.”

Her eyes softened. “Cade, I—”

“Hannah—”

We both laughed quietly out of nervousness.

I took a deep breath. “You first.”

She nodded and dropped her gaze down, staring at her folded hands in her lap for a moment. After a slow inhale and exhale, as if steeling herself, she raised her gaze to meet mine. “Cade, I was so wrong to do what I did. Cut you off like that. Running from the best things in my life had been an idiotic thing to do. I panicked and closed in on myself. But most of all, I hurt you in the process.”

I blinked. So not how I imagined our reunion going. “Hannah, I’m the one who was wrong, on multiple levels. I was an idiot to begin with, not putting you first above the business. Above everything. I should have removed you from harm’s way with the threat of an ex who we knew could cause problems. On that night, after your note—when I left—I didn’t feel worthy of you. You trusted me to keep you safe, and I failed you.”

Her clasped hands moved from her lap, the fingers of one hand reaching out to touch my knee. “But you came back.”

I glanced up. Her expression was unreadable. Open, but nothing more.

“I did. On the beach, a fight rose up from my gut and into my heart that hadn’t been there before. I left for you, because I didn’t think I could be what you needed me to be.”

“And now?”

“Sitting on that sand for days on end gave me clarity. The man who fell in love with you wants to fight for us, not for selfish reasons, but for you. If you’ll give me another chance, if you understand sometimes I’m an idiot and slap me upside the head, I will fight to be worthy of you.”

Tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill over.

A cramp choked my throat at the sight of her barely held emotions. My vision began to blur from building tears.

“I’ll give you a second chance Kincade Joseph Michaelson. I’ll give you a second, and a third, and on and on. But only under one condition.”

A tiny flame of hope flared to life, and I exhaled in relief. “Name it. It’s yours.”

“The next time I run. And there will be a next time; I am going to run—this we’ve established.”

She paused, and the corners of my lips twitched as I fought a smile.

Her hand squeezed my knee. “You have to chase me. I’m so f*cked up when I’m lost in the middle of a panic attack, I don’t think. I can’t think. You have to think for me. Chase after me. Always fight for us, even when I can’t.” Her voice fell to a pleading whisper, her tears spilling over onto her cheeks. “Promise me.”

My tears fell too, not manly, but I didn’t give a f*ck. Hannah was here, pouring her heart out, asking me to love her.

I lifted a hand to cup her cheek, wiping away her falling tears with my thumb.

“I promise, Hannah. I promise to think for you when you can’t, I promise to chase after you when you run, and I promise to fight for us no matter what obstacles come our way.”

She inhaled a shaky breath. “We need to remove an obstacle now. Before I feel comfortable moving forward, we need to be on the same page about something.”

Warring emotions gripped my heart. Panic. Hope. I wanted to soothe her fears, and there was so much left to say, but I needed to listen first. I held her gaze and gave her a firm nod with my full attention.

“We have to talk more. I need you to know what we need to talk about. In fact, don’t decide what is and isn’t important to share with me, it all is—from the mundane to the shocking. If something upsets you? Tell me. Make me a part of your life in such a deep way that I don’t feel separate from it. I don’t ever want to feel like you’re keeping things from me again, even if it’s unintentional.”

A choking cramp locked up my throat again at the pain I’d caused her even as I exhaled a relieved breath at what she needed from me. “I agree. One hundred percent. On the island, I realized we could’ve avoided all the heartache if I’d made more time for us, not just hang-time or sex, but real time where we connect and share. Things got so busy, I let us fall through the cracks. The time we make for each other is where we solidify us, where we communicate. I’m going to f*cking communicate like you wouldn’t believe.” I took a deep breath. “Can I ask you one favor?”