Two Bar Mitzvahs (No Weddings #3)(70)

After a few minutes, she handed it back to me. “Let me know if you need anything further.”

“Thank you, Adrienne.” I walked outside onto the patio and dialed the number.

After a few rings, a calming voice answered. “Hello?”

“Dad.”

“Cade? Good to hear from you. Kristen told us what happened. You okay?”

I let out a heavy sigh. “Been better. Being stuck on an island is giving me plenty of thinking time but no answers. Hoping you could help me out with that.”

“Anything I can do, I will.”

“You were a workaholic when we were kids. I know it put a strain on your and Mom’s relationship. How did you figure it all out?”

His deep chuckle sounded over the line. “You’re right. I was focused too much on work, and all of you suffered for it. But ‘figuring it all out’ didn’t happen overnight. Hell, I still have to work hard at pacing myself. Your mom helped me realize a few things along the way.”

“Like what?”

“Intimacy doesn’t take a lot of time, but you do have to make the time. You can’t work long hours, days at a time, only keeping the prize at the end. A healthy relationship needs constant attention, daily, even if just a few moments to connect. Like a pot on the stove—you want to keep it on simmer so it doesn’t boil over.”

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “That makes sense.” So many days in the last weeks, I hadn’t seen Hannah because I knew I would in another day or two. Texts were great, but maybe it should’ve been more connection.

“I see so much of myself in you, son. Hard charging, driven, wanting to succeed by being the best. But everything comes at a cost. Be sure the sacrifice you make is on the business end instead of your personal life. I saw the reverse too often with business associates; many grew distant with their spouse and children in order to advance in their professional lives. I knew I didn’t want to lose my family.”

“What about communication? I’ve f*cked up there. When so many things were being juggled at once, I pushed out of my mind things I felt were nonessential shit to try and focus on tasks that had to be done. But turns out, some of what I thought was unimportant was critical for Hannah to know, but I didn’t see it. I missed huge things and hurt her in the process.”

“Every relationship goes through that. It’s not easy balancing out what used to be two separate lives into one relationship. For years, I pushed so hard at work to make sure I was providing for and protecting your mom, even before you kids were born. But it took me a long time to realize that the women in our lives want to do the same things for us. Protect. Provide.”

I started to see the connection. “Ahhh, guys think they have to do it all.”

“Exactly, Cade. That’s the difference, that’s the key. You have to do it together.”

The sun was suddenly too warm, and I sat down on a chair in the shade, letting his words sink in. “Great perspective. I think that’ll help. But what I’m still rolling around in my mind is the success thing. At school, they did a great job in teaching us how to create something out of nothing, how to really work hard to achieve results. How did you balance love and work?”

“You’ve heard the phrase, work smarter not harder?”

“Sure. Ben and I say it often at Loading Zone.”

“Just because you’re working smarter, doesn’t mean you should pile on more work to fill in the extra time. That’s why you’re working smarter. To be able to have time with her.”

Shit. The simplicity of it nearly overwhelmed me.

Frustrated at my idiocy, I blew out a hard breath. “And all I did was take on one more thing, then another one more thing, until it was my time with Hannah that suffered. That’s how I let things slip through the cracks. If I’d set aside more time for her, we would have communicated everything.”

“Maybe. Sometimes we have to learn the lesson to know what to focus on. I know I did. We incrementally lose control with each new responsibility we stack on our shoulders. But in the end, we’re the ones who added the stressors into our lives. And we’re the only ones who can take them out.”

“Yeah.” I let it all soak in, grateful as f*ck I’d called him. When the silence stretched on, I leaned forward, resting my forearms on my thighs. “Thanks, Dad. This has helped more than you know.”

“Anytime, Cade. And trust me…I know. I wasn’t smart enough to learn that I needed to ask these questions when I was your age. So does that mean you’re coming home?”

I laughed. “Soon. I still have a few more days before the return flight. And I think the extra time will help me figure everything out. Now that I’ve talked with you, I have a roadmap to get there.”

“Call me if you need anything else. Good luck.”

“Thanks, Dad.” I hung up. And after the call, I experienced the first calm I’d felt in days. And…a little bit of hope.

The following day, I sat on the beach again under the shade of a palm tree after having the best night of sleep I’d had since I’d arrived. In small bursts of clarity at different moments, I remembered what Dad had said and thought about how it applied to my situation. Around lunchtime, I realized I needed to stop trying to figure out how to correct the past mistakes. Instead, I began to focus on the future.