Toxic: Logan's Story (Torn #4)(26)

“Where’s Amber?” I asked as we walked outside to his car.

I was surprised to see that it was almost completely dark outside now. It was barely six o’clock back in L.A., and the time change was screwing with me.

“Out as usual. She’s never home anymore.”

So, that means that we’ll have the house to ourselves tonight. “I see.”

“She drives me nuts. She tried bringing guys back to the house when Chloe first moved out. I got tired of hearing her screwing them, so I told her she couldn’t do that anymore. Now, she goes home with them, but that doesn’t really make me feel any better.” He looked pissed.

I frowned as we got into the car. “She’s a big girl, Logan. I know she’s your friend, but you can’t worry about everyone all the time.”

“I know that. I’m just worried because she’s not the same as she used to be. When we started college, she turned into a completely different person. She had gone through a nasty breakup right before we came here, but I don’t see how that could still be bothering her. It wasn’t like she was planning on marrying the jackass. It’s like she stepped onto campus and signed up for Girls Gone Wild.”

“People change as they get older, Logan. She isn’t the eighteen-year-old you came here with. Just let her figure out her problems on her own.”

“I know, I know. You’re right. The thing that bugs me most is that”—he cursed softly under his breath—“for a while, I was one of the guys she took home.”

I froze in my seat. “You slept with Chloe and Amber?”

Could I pick anyone more f*cked-up than Logan?

His eyes widened. “What? No! Oh shit! No! That’s just…wrong. I meant, I was like those guys for a while. I would go to the bars and pick up girls just to f*ck them.”

I hadn’t expected that from him. I’d just assumed that Logan wouldn’t touch another woman while he was pining away over Chloe. After spending nine months in an enclosed space with man-whore Adam, I didn’t like this information one bit. I didn’t want someone who spent all his time f*cking other girls.

“How long has this been going on? Have you done it recently?” I finally asked as we pulled into the parking lot at Denny’s. If I hadn’t been so focused on what he was about to say, I would have smiled at his choice of restaurant. I loved this place.

“I haven’t done that in a long time. I stopped when you left town.”

My head whipped up to look at him. “What? Why?”

He had the decency to look embarrassed by this whole conversation. “I don’t know. It didn’t feel right. I got off on degrading those girls more than anything, and then after everything happened with you, I realized what a dirty bastard I was. So, I quit going out. I went to school and work. That was it. It helped a lot because I didn’t have to worry about feeling guilty.”

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I stayed silent as we stepped out of the car and walked across the lot to the restaurant. He held the door open for me, and we stepped inside. Even though it was after nine, the place was packed. It always was. In a college town, places that stayed open all night were usually swamped by this time.

We had to wait a few minutes for them to clear a table for us. Once we were sitting down, I opened my menu and stared at it blankly. I wasn’t seeing any of the words or pictures that normally made my mouth water. Instead, all I could see was Logan going home with girl after girl. It shouldn’t bother me like this. I had no claim on him. I wasn’t even sure if he really considered me a friend.

“I f*cked up with you, didn’t I?” he finally asked.

I looked up to see him staring at me. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve barely looked at me, and you haven’t said a word since I told you that stuff in the car.”

“Logan—”

“No, it’s okay. I get it. I knew what I was doing wasn’t right, but I didn’t care. I deserve whatever it is you think of me,” he said as he looked away.

He looked utterly defeated. His features were darkened with a frown, and I could see storm clouds raging behind his eyes. Without thinking, I reached across the table and took his hand. His eyes widened as he glanced up at me.

“What you did was wrong. I won’t lie and say it wasn’t. But the fact that you know you messed up says that you regret it. We’ve all messed up in our lives, and we’ll all mess up again—several times. What matters is that you’re trying to do what’s right. I’m not angry with you, honest. It just kind of surprised me. I have this picture of how you used to be in my head, and that’s how I see you. When you tell me stuff like this, I don’t know what to think.”

He looked down at our joined hands and then back up at me. “Thank you.”

I stared at him, confused. “For what?”

“For not giving up on me and not thinking the worst when it comes to me. I don’t know what I did to gain your loyalty, but it means more to me than you know.”

He looked like he wanted to say something else to me, but our waitress decided to show up at that exact moment.

“What can I get y’all tonight?” she asked without looking up from her notepad.

Once she took our orders and menus, she glanced up at us for the first time. When her eyes landed on me, I saw recognition in them.