Time Will Tell (Maybe #3)(44)

I lift her face so she has to look at me. “It didn’t mean anything. I love you. I wouldn’t change you for anything. Do you understand me? If I wanted that, I could have it, but I don’t. We were young and experimenting. I know I should have told you, but to be honest, I didn’t want to scare you off, and it’s not something I just go around sharing. We haven’t spoken in detail about my sexual past and I thought that maybe you didn’t want to know.”

She cringes. “I don’t want to know details or anything. But if we run into someone you’ve been with, I’d like to know that.”

I tilt my head to the side. “Okay, that I can do. You can ask me anything you want, Trillian. I’ve never lied to you.”

“I know you’ve been around,” she adds, sniffling, “so it’s hard to believe sometimes that you’re willing to settle down with me and be with only me.”

I lower my head to taste her sweet lips. “I want you. Only you. I’m f*ckin’ obsessed with you, Trillian. We just are, you know? You’re the one for me. Stop questioning it, baby. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispers, her body relaxing. She leans her head on my shoulder, and I exhale slowly in relief.

“I just can’t get the image out of my head,” she whispers. “I know it’s stupid.”

“What you feel isn’t stupid, Trill. It never is, not to me. I know I’d hate it if our places were reversed. The only thing I can say is that nothing that happened before matters anymore. This right here is what I want, and you are who I was meant to be with.”

She flashes me a small smile. “So you don’t want to share me with anyone else?”

“Even the thought of it makes me want to kill someone. If there’s something you wanted to do or try, I will do it for you, but I’d never want to share you. Ever. I don’t think I’d handle it very well.”

“Understatement,” she mumbles.

I kiss her temple. “You’re mine and mine only. I’m greedy when it comes to you.”

“Well, I’m glad,” she replies in a dry tone, “because if Zach put his penis near me, I’d probably scream.”

She’s only joking, but the thought of Zach or anyone near her, makes me extremely angry.

“It’s just you and me, Trill,” I say, trying to calm myself. “We don’t need anyone else or anything else to get us by.”

“Just… I don’t want to hear anything else from someone else. I’d like it to come from you, okay? When someone else tells me things, it makes me feel like I don’t know you.”

I’ve really f*cked up.

“Okay, I promise,” I tell her, meaning every word. “I’d never do anything to mess this up. I might be a dick sometimes, but I’d never cheat on you, or look elsewhere. Why would I? I’m not stupid or blind. I know the value of what I have in my arms.”

“Xander—”

“Next time you get pissed, you don’t f*ckin’ run away, Trill. Getting on Rex’s bike? I didn’t like that.”

In fact, I hated it. I didn’t trust that f*cker, and I didn’t like her being on his bike, especially because I know he wants her. I also wanted to make sure she was safe.

“I know,” she says. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to leave.”

I nod. “We’re still learning about each other every day. We’ll get there. We’re going to make mistakes, but at the end of the day, we’ll come together, just like this. But you need to talk to me. Don’t run from me. I want you too f*ckin’ badly to ever let you go.”

She giggles. “You’re so smooth.”

Liking the sound of her happy giggles, I push her back on the couch. “Smooth? Hmmmm. With you, it’s just me being honest.”

“And with the other women?” she asks, wrinkling her cute nose.

My mouth twitches. “Yeah, okay. I can be pretty smooth.”

She bursts out laughing and I just watch her.

I could watch her all day.





Chapter Twenty-Three


Trillian


One Month Later

Leaving straight from uni, I meet April at a café.

“How was class?” she asks.

I shrug. “Same old crap. You?”

She shrugs. “Same.”

We share a grin.

Xander is back in Perth and has been for the last week.

It sucks.

It sounds like a first world problem, but it really sucks. I miss him and want him back here. I miss him making me laugh, us sharing meals together, hugs.

The sex.

I so miss the sex.

But even more than that, I just miss him.

His presence. His warmth.

“Did you hear what I just said?” April asks, pursing her lips and staring me down.

I clear my throat. “I’m sorry, what?”

She sighs. “I just admitted that I slept with Zach and you weren’t even listening.”

I may have not been listening before, but I am now.

“I knew it!” I call out, standing up and clapping.

She grips my arm, trying not to laugh. “Sit down. People are staring at us.”

I sit down.