The Wonder (Queen of Hearts Saga #2)(63)
A sword. What had the Caterpillar said to her? “You will pierce the heart of one man and…”
Her memory was there, but then it was gone again, the way a butterfly would land on her hand but leave the moment she glanced at it. “I’m even afraid of what happens if we are victorious. I’ll be Queen. Can I rule? Will I be a good ruler, or a terrible one, like my…?” She stopped. “Like the King of Hearts. If that even happens. If we can get through the gates.”
Wardley absently clasped her hand in his, their palms slick with comingled sweat.
“Do you believe we can win, Wardley?”
He stared out at the small pond. His face was ruddy and flushed from the walk, and for a moment he reminded Dinah of the boy with the stolen tarts. But then she saw the stubble creeping up his cheeks and the way his sculpted muscles tensed under his shirt. He had become a man since she had seen him last. He sighed and rubbed his face with his other hand.
“We can win, but it’s not in our favor as it stands right now. The King has us outnumbered almost two to one and that means the odds are against us. The iron walls are perfectly round, which means that to surround them, we will be stretched thin in all places. We have the Spades, which will help, for they are ruthless in battle, but he has the Heart Cards, who are the most-skilled fighters in Wonderland. He has Xavier Juflee.” He gave a laugh. “We have an exiled princess, the King’s horse, an army of wild natives, and the Spades. And even if we win, once we are inside the gates, the people of Wonderland Palace will not welcome us with open arms. They loathe you, do you realize that? The people fear you, Dinah, and for good reason. You are bringing death and war upon this city, a city that has never seen a battle. Almost every man in the kingdom is a Card, and the King will deploy all of them to his defense.”
“Yes, but we have the Yurkei….”
“The Yurkei have never attacked a city. What do they know of walls and iron gates and a palace made of stone and glass? The mounted Heart Cards will smash against the Yurkei on the north side, while we battle our way through a sea of Hearts, Clubs, and Diamonds, all while the Fergals rain arrows down around us.” Wardley shook his head. “If we are captured, our fate will be much more terrible than dying quickly on the battlefield. They will throw us into the Black Towers to rot, until we become one with the tree, or worse. The King of Hearts is a hateful man.” He looked over at Dinah, his brown eyes gazing with adoration and sadness over her drawn face. “I swear to you this day, here in this place, that I will kill you before I let the King torture you. And I hope you will do the same for me.”
Dinah smiled back at him, knowing that she would never be able to take Wardley’s life. No, not even to save him. Love had made her impassively hard and needlessly soft at the same time.
“I keep thinking,” he muttered, “that this might be the last time I do anything. The last time I eat bread. The last time I dip my foot in a pool. The last time that I get to speak with you as a friend, and not as a commander to his queen.”
Dinah felt her heart start to gallop within her chest. It raced so fast she felt it might explode. Despite all the oxygen running through her veins, she was frozen in place. Wardley seemed oblivious to her discomfort. He leaned back onto the mossy ground, stretching his arms above his head.
“Tonight could be the last night that I watch the stars simply to remember my place in this world. Everything that we have can be taken away. It will be taken away for many men that rest in those tents, maybe from you, maybe from me.”
Dinah felt the fury climbing up through her chest, only this time it was different. This was a longing, a need, something that felt like falling, like a string was yanking her heart out of her chest. Toward him, only him, always him. She was no longer in control—all she could feel was the needing, the wanting to touch him. The passion crawled up through her until she became its puppet. It moved her limbs, her mind, her lips. She wanted him. She had waited long enough, and had almost lost him once. He was still speaking when Dinah leaned over him, her arms on either side of his body.
“If this is the last then there is something…. Dinah, what are you doing?”
Tenderly, she bent over him, her lips brushing his, as gentle and soft as dew drops on a petal. His lips were warm and moist, and tipped with everything good Dinah had ever tasted. Her red lips dusted across his, feeling his mouth staying painfully still. He lay motionless, frozen. What am I doing? Dinah yanked her head back and looked down at him with confusion and hesitation.
Wardley gave a painful grimace, and then he grabbed the back of her head roughly, pressing his lips hard against hers. Dinah gasped at the force with which he kissed her. It was the opposite of gentle—it was a forceful, hungry kiss with more than a hint of anger beneath it. With a grunt, he flipped Dinah over onto her back and leveled his body over hers before he started kissing her again, ever harder and harder, until Dinah felt her lips going numb. It was delicious and full of pleasure, and yet, something wasn’t right. Wardley’s hands were pressed against her shoulders as if he was holding her down, or holding himself back. It was a defensive pose and his body was tensed in anger. As he kissed her furiously, Dinah felt a wet tear drip down his face onto her cheek. She pushed his face back. It took her a minute to catch her breath. This was not how she dreamed their first true kiss would be—aggressive and slightly violent.
“What? Wardley, what is wrong? What are you doing??” Her eyes traveled over the face she knew so well, and she could feel her heart wrench painfully when she recognized his grim determination. Her face, in turn, displayed a new emotion as she looked up at the man she loved so much: rejection.