The Wonder (Queen of Hearts Saga #2)(60)
Heads… something about heads… Dinah couldn’t remember. There was only the unclear memory of smoke and light, and a burning deep in her lungs.
“Do you feel well enough to sit up now?”
“Yes.” Dinah hated depending on him for anything, but she let him help her up and hold her hand as she gently made her way to a small wooden table. Soup steamed in a small mug and, somehow, there was a pile of warm sweets waiting for her. She looked up at Cheshire with amazement. “How does one make warm pies in the wilderness?”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “There is nothing I can’t get for you.” Cheshire raised a spoon to her lips.
“I can do it myself, thank you.” Dinah clutched the spoon with determination and shakily brought it to her dry lips. “How did you get the—was it poison?—out?”
Cheshire leaned back on his chair and folded his long hands under his chin. “Wild lavender rice tea. Rice attracts moisture, and the smoke, when inhaled, became a form of liquid hallucination. It’s quite fascinating. I visited the witch doctor myself after I saw you, and he explained its full effects. My dagger at his throat helped a bit, I think. After that, the Yurkei wouldn’t let anyone come near his tent.” He paused. “I hate to be the one to tell you, but this incident only served to fan the flames of anger between the Spades and the Yurkei.”
“We’re on the same side for gods’ sake,” snapped Dinah. “Either way, many of these men will die, all for me.”
His smile faded. “That’s where you are mistaken. These men do not fight and die for you. No man fights or dies for a leader. He dies for an ideal. That ideal is embodied in your person. The Spades will die fighting for their rights, for the rights of the men that they stand beside. They fight for the right to bear children, for a chance to live forever through their heirs. The Yurkei fight to reclaim the land of their forefathers.” Distracted by a sweet on the little table, Cheshire summed it up, “Don’t delude yourself, these men fight for themselves.”
Cheshire selected a slice of plum pie and took a small bite. Dinah had never noticed how small and sharp his teeth were. His bites were half the size of hers. “Fathers and sons, my dear. That is what these men fight for, even if they believe they are fighting for you. Part of becoming a leader is learning how to manipulate that belief. It’s the way power works. Your face and dress and crown represent these things for them, but it wouldn’t matter if it was you, or another. Your task now is to become a queen for whom they’d be willing to die.”
Dinah stared at the ground. She had behaved so foolishly by going to Iu-Hora’s tent, and yet, she was furious at him for pointing out the truth. “Ironic how you can speak of sacrifice with such ease when you only looked after your own interests while the King beat my mother and treated me with contempt.”
Cheshire flashed a pitying grin at her. “Poor girl. Is that what you believe? I simply see it as keeping your best interest at heart. I would have loved nothing more than to steal you and your mother away in the dead of night and start over in a new place, a new town, away from the King, where I could love you both proudly. And yet, by doing that, I would deny you the crown, a chance to become the most esteemed person in Wonderland. Instead, I suffered in silence, watching the love of my life be touched by a man who disgusted me, and watching my daughter be raised by a man who hated her.”
Cheshire slowly folded his napkin, taking care with each corner. When he was done, a tiny paper mouse remained. He set it inside of her empty tea cup before standing to leave. He calmly tucked in his purple tunic before suddenly leaning over her menacingly. His sweet breath swept over her face. “Do not presume to know me, daughter. I have sacrificed everything to get you where you are. And instead of being grateful for my sacrifice, and the sacrifice of all of the men here, you repay us by wandering right into the arms of a mad witch doctor so that we might have watched you die slowly. You are not a child anymore. You are a queen, so behave like one!”
He stood up and took a deep breath, adjusting his brooch as he transformed himself back into the smooth, unruffled Cheshire. “Make sure that you don’t do anything strenuous today. No sparring. No fighting. Wardley or Sir Gorrann is to be with you at all times. I don’t trust your Yurkei guards anymore.”
Dinah watched in simmering silence as Cheshire whisked himself out of the tent. Her appetite had disappeared. He was right. It was time to quit playing these risky games to satisfy her childish curiosity. She was no longer a girl sneaking into the Black Towers with Wardley. Her kingdom was at war, and she was too indulgent of her own whims. The consequences of her actions would be real and severe. For gods’ sake, she had almost started a war here in their camp.
A true leader would create allies out of enemies, but her actions had only served to create division. I will remember that, she thought. I will remember that what the queen does matters. I will listen to Cheshire’s wisdom, no matter how strange he makes me feel. Deep in thought, she munched quietly on a blueberry tart. As she went to take another bite, she looked down in shock at the tips of her fingernails. They were a deep orange, stained with the poison that was slowly seeping out of her body, a real reminder of how close she had come to ruining the lives of thousands. She didn’t believe that Iu-Hora, the witch doctor, had intended to kill her, and yet, he was dangerous just the same. Alone in the tent, Dinah closed her eyes and vowed that she would no longer make impulsive decisions on whatever whim came over her at the time. The cause and the crown came first. I will be the queen they deserve. She would work harder to remember that these were her people here, both the Spades and the Yurkei. It was her job to lead and protect them. Her foolishness prior to war was inexcusable.