The Ugly Duckling Debutante (House of Renwick #1)(58)

Sara’s eyes blazed open as she tried to get out of bed. “Nicholas!” Frantic, he needed to calm her down. He looked to Lady Fenton and began soothing Sara with soft words. By some miracle, she closed her eyes again. She muttered something under her breath. Nicholas leaned in closer to hear.

The words she uttered caused fear like he had never known in his life.

“The baby, Nicholas, the baby,” Nicholas for the second time in two days began sobbing next to his wife.

When his tears dried up, he went outside the room to talk to Lady Fenton. There really was nothing more he could do other than continue to keep her cooled down. Lady Fenton looked strained when he pulled her away from the servant’s ears.

“She’s pregnant?” he asked, his voice still hoarse from crying. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined this scenario. How much of a fool was he? Leaving his pregnant wife while he scoured the Scottish countryside. He wanted someone to shoot him just so he would be put out of his misery.

The tears in Lady Fenton’s eyes returned. “Nicholas, she found out just a while ago. We think she conceived very early on in your relationship.”

“I’ll say,” he muttered.

Lady Fenton ignored his sarcastic comment. “Is she going to live?”

He nodded his head. “She isn’t as hot as she once was, but I…I don’t know about the baby. I’m not a doctor. Only time will tell.”

She nodded her head and pulled him into a hug. “She loves you, you know.”

Nicholas sighed. “I love her, too.” A weight suddenly lifted off his shoulders as he realized that he had loved her all this time.

As if reading his thoughts, Lady Fenton gave him a little squeeze on his shoulders. “My boy, she’s known that long before you were aware of it.”

With that she walked off. He knew she needed sleep. The poor woman swayed on her feet—then again he did, too. He spent the rest of the afternoon reading to Sara from some of the novels in the library. He became obsessive, not even letting the maids dress her. He put on clean bedding and replaced her gown with something more comfortable. At one point he woke her up enough to get her to sit in a cool bath while he washed her hair. She was still delirious, but he wanted her to feel comfortable.

On the second day of the fever, Nicholas was starting to get anxious. She hadn’t gotten worse but she wasn’t getting better either. Having a high fever was not good for the baby at all.

He groaned out loud and set his head on Sara’s arm. “I love you,” he said quietly. The tears came soon after. “I love you so much Sara, do you know that? I need you to snap out of this, to come back. I need you. Duncan needs you. Our baby boy needs you.” At the moment he didn’t care if it was a boy or girl. He merely said the first thing that came to mind. “I need you to be strong, and I need you to live, Sara.” He choked on her name. “I love you…just please.” He fell asleep with his head on her arm. It was the first time since he knew her she was the last name on his lips while he prayed and the only one in his mind when he slept.



***



Sara felt like she had been through a hot nightmare. She only remembered bits and pieces of what took place. The one thing that stood out amongst the chaos was Nicholas’s constant presence. He was almost like her own personal angel sitting watch by her bed. She remembered different stories he told her, and most of all his confession earlier that day. She wanted so badly to take him into her arms and cradle him. She loved him so much; he was so dear to her! Yet she couldn’t move, she was so angry at her own treacherous body that she could scream, instead all she managed was a slow moan.

Slowly but surely her body began to feel cooler until finally she opened her eyes and sighed. She was starving. Somehow Nicholas had gotten into the bed and was lying next to her with his arm across her body. He was sleeping rather possessively, his body language clearly saying, “if anyone touches her, I’ll kill him.”

It made her laugh, which made Nicholas open his eyes. The love Sara saw behind them completely un-did her. With as much strength as she could muster she said, “I love you.”

He closed his eyes quickly, but Sara saw what had already escaped down his cheeks. Tears streamed down his handsome face. He pulled her close and said quietly into her ear, “I love you. I adore you. I need you. I—I…” His words were no more than choked sobs as he rocked her back and forth and cried. “I prayed for the baby,” he finally said.

“He’s fine,” Sara said confidently, even though her voice was still raspy.

He smiled weakly. “How do you know that?”

She made a motion that should have been a shrug but looked more like a twitch. “Call it faith.”

He smiled. “My faithful Sara.”

“Nicholas?”

“Hmm?” His eyes were closed next to her.

“Can we start over?”

He smiled warmly. “I’d like that, but first can you ever forgive me for the things I said to you? It was out of fear, and pride and—“

She laughed which seemed to startle him. “Not that I don’t like you groveling at my feet right now and confessing all your sins—but I did say start over. The past is the past; don’t you think we should just leave it there?”

“Wise woman.” He kissed her cheek. “I couldn’t have asked for a better wife.”